To think it’s very sad certain professions are denied to some children

[continuallychargingmyphone]

I just didn’t know when I joined MN that if your name is not suitably middle class you are forced into a life of servitude in Asda or Tesco. No being a high court judge for you.

Or, aibu to think people are ridiculous and call your baby what you like?

I think most people would like people to form impressions of them on what they were actually like, rather than some fantasy impression from their name. Francesca and Persephone bring with them expectations in the same way that Kayden and Jayde-Mai might. Although as a parent you might want something "special" as a name the child themselves is much better off being Laura or James.

And I didn’t list poppi (with an I) at all.

I mentioned Daniel and Victoria and Peter.

Several posts later answered a criticism of Poppy by saying it was a nice name.

If I had said poppi was a nice name possibly ... but I still don’t know what I was allegedly trying to do.

Of course it's wrong to judge names, but the fact that perfectly intelligent people constantly do so on MN shows that it's going on in the wider world the whole time.

We can all list Kai's/Lexie-Mai's we know who have done exceptionally well and are barristers, HC judges etc., but it's disingenuous to say there will not be judging of names as our kids go into the world. There will be judgements made (in the UK anyway), it's on the naming boards here all the time.

I know one recruitment person at an old firm of mine, when faced with two final candidates for a job, equal experience etc., would bin the one with 'the wrong sort of name.'

It's bloody awful, but it's real.

The op's reference to Poppy may have been accidental but her earlier reference to Victoria, Daniel and Peter certainly wasn't and I agree with other posters, absolutely horrible to use murdered children to try and bolster your feeble 'point'.

Intake three years ago included:
Boys included: Kai x3, Shane, Kane, Kaiden, Kayden, Jayden, Koden, Barrylee

Girls included: Kourtney, Kristelle, Shawnice, Kasey, Kaitlinn,
Keera, Angel-Boo, Kaichia, Kirstelle, Anfeea.

Yes, there were also William, Matthew, Thomas, Connor, Alice, Lucy, Ella etc.

Can you guess which were top set and not in trouble and which were lowers sets and often in trouble? Can you guess which came from more middle class, more stable, famillies with parents who worked and which came from the rough local estate? (Not always the case of course but often so)

It is nothing to do with the names, it is to do with the culture a child grows up in- aspirations, hobbies, reading, communication, values, importance of Education, experiences in family of Education, role models in family, work/ingrained worklessness, parents' knowledge and understanding of the world, and the impact of poverty.

I have to admit that the name Alfie makes me think of the Shirley Hughes books.

I don't think there are really any 'chavvy' names when we're all grown up. I work with loads of powerful women who have all the 70s cliche 'common' names that people use disparagingly and it's a non-issue to me. It will be for all these children too.

It's slightly different with problem weird spellings or made up names. I knew a Bekki and some people were a bit . It's not her fault - her parents put it on her birth certificate. What's she supposed to do? Change it to Becky?

This thread reminds me of this story from 10 years ago. I wouldn't judge the child if they had a name that was odd, attention seeking, or spelt in a 'yoonike' way but I would deffo judge the parents.

https://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2008/jul/24/familyandrelationships.newzealand

Poppi I'd want to say Pop-eye

My point was simply that a middle class name does not equate to good parenting but I apologise for any offence caused

Would that make you feel really clever about yourself Cambridge

My dd's class at grammar school were all Emilys and Graces and Roses etc-except for one Aleesha. It turned out later that she had chosen that name for herself-her real name was Sophie.

"Unless we have an incredibly strict (and I'm aware that Grauniad readers are all for this) system for ensuring that no one has more than another," Seriously? Have you read the Guardian recently?

Many job applications are anonymised these days to prevent unconscious bias. However if adults name their child cetaphyllia or something daft, they are twats

This is not what i expected when I opened this thread

Do you mean that children with ‘chavvy’ sounding names would more likely be denied places at universities and then high flying jobs than others? Because if so I kind of agree. Names that look like they belong to ethnic minorities are more often passed over I’m sure there’s been studies?

If you mean that someone with an outlandish name is less likely to try because of their name therefore potentially closing down some options for themselves then that’s ridiculous.

Lulu I agree - except that Connor is considered fairly "estate" where I live certainly not MC.

Uniformity is just so boring and white and slightly oppressive.

Professions aren’t being denied to anyone. But a person with a name that seems out of kilter with the job they are going for through may hit additional hurdles in appearing credible in the interviewer’s conscious or unconscious mind. And that can work both ways - too posh or too chavvy/flowery/made up

I'd agree with this. I have a background in City law and now do career coaching and interview preparation for a living. When I (along with DH) chose what to name our daughter part of our thinking was flexibility for her future prospects (particularly as we're an international family, and we wanted her name to work in all three family cultures). That doesn't mean I named her so she'd be a shoo-in for a vacancy at Linklaters in 20 years; it means I want to do my best for her name not to be a hindrance to any career or location.

I was being sarcastic there senua

No you weren't. If all jobs have equal value then your case falls down. You think that supermarket workers are inferior and 'lesser'. However there are many accomplished people working in supermarkets, despite their degrees and whatnot, because it suits their purposes.

I don't think it should matter, but it does.

My dh has a unisex name but in this country it's more normal for women to have that name. He works in engineering and has to put Mr on his cv because if he doesn't he won't get an interview. So yes, names matter in job selection. (And misogyny is alive and well in 21st Century Britain).

It is nothing to do with the names, it is to do with the culture a child grows up in

Is most certainly is the names - or the teacher's reaction to the names. If a teacher's own prejudice means they expect a child called a certain name to behave in a particular way then, from the start, they will automatically treat the child differently no matter the reality. Do you think the child won't notice and react to the obvious unfairness?

Not at all. I think it’s ridiculous that some people on here believe a girl called Maisie can’t be a barrister. I also think Poppy is a lovely name. People have read more into those statements than was ever intended.

Is that the law now? About time too. I hate being served by Tamara in McDonalds

Didn't realise my name would be classed as common grin I've only met another one in my entire life and my name is often commented on and remembered.

Actually I think the PP was being sarcastic in response to the OP and was implying your name was too middle class to be working in Mcdonalds.

Sorry to say it but I have worked at two or three offices (in "normal" companies, not law firms or anything) where managers have openly made negative comments about people's names when they sent in their CVs. They weren't all recruiting for higher level jobs either - one of them was recruiting for a receptionist, and she said she didn't want someone with that name on the reception desk as that person would be representing the company.

Also, I've noticed that Chinese ladies tend to give themselves twee English nicknames like Felicity.