To think it’s very sad certain professions are denied to some children

[continuallychargingmyphone]

I just didn’t know when I joined MN that if your name is not suitably middle class you are forced into a life of servitude in Asda or Tesco. No being a high court judge for you.

Or, aibu to think people are ridiculous and call your baby what you like?

Why Suzanne?

I’m genuinely lost as to why you think that. If I ever had another daughter Poppy would be one of my three top names - the others being Jessica or Charlotte.

I thought the pp about Tamara working in McDo was about Tamara not being a downmarket name.
Kacey is a silly spelling because Casey is the standard one.

Coming from a background where I wasn't taught a lot of the 'soft skills' that lead to making adult life easier - this shit matters more than many people want to admit. (Usually people who have benefitted from having them and are convinced it's just because they are fabulous they have done well).

Then there's always someone who comes along and says "I think they were more interested in my 1st from Oxford and Masters and billion A*s" - completely failing to see that most people are average.

If you are average, you will have two dozen other people who are equally qualified for every job /training contract you apply for. A 'silly' sounding name might not be enough to reject you if you are one of 2 people who can do a job, it might be easily if there's over 100 with similar backgrounds, qualifications and experience, and need to get the list down to 5 to interview.

If your application stands out suffiently on it's own merrit, then stuff like this doesn't matter. If you come from a family who have great connections that means the right person will be forwarding your CV to HR, or can line up work experience that others won't get access to, then it doesn't matter. If you are just a bit average, then stuff like this does matter.

Pretending it doesn't is unfair to people who are on the recieving end of the more subtle discimination. (And yes, any names that could be seen as 'black' are often discriminated against, even if those doing it wouldn't think they are being racist).

Don't be so disingenuous.
You know exactly who you were listing:
Victoria
Daniel
Peter
Poppy

Using high-profile deaths of children to make a point about nominative determinism... completely crass.
Have some respect for those children. They are not cheap entertainment.

I agree that you should be able to call your child what you like and it SHOULDN'T matter, but the reality is that when they do tests where they change the names on applications, in most cases fewer women, and fewer people with names that sound like they belong to ethnic minority, and fewer 'chavvy' names get through to the interview stage.

So, it is not unreasonable to think that names may effect their career.

Insisting that everyone does bias training at work might help too.

Maisie only became acceptable to the MCs in the 1990s Phew, we're ok then....

Goodness suzanne I most ^certainly* did not. I was responding to someone else criticising the name Poppy. The little girl you mean was spelled slightly differently.

I know it's a bit of a stereotype but people who give their children more traditional/classic names do tend to be more educated themselves and more likely to be the ones who have more money to do enriching activities with their children, live near 'good' schools, socialise with similar people, etc.

And, again being very general, it's often those from a poorer background who chose more unusual names and their children don't always have the same opportunities.

So it's not the names themselves, but lots of other factors. I know that's a massive generalisation, and actually one of my DCs has a very traditional 'royal' name and the other has a name often mentioned as 'chavvy' on MN so it will be interesting to see which careers they end up in both having the same upbringing!

I think the snobbery towards names should get less as we live in a multicultural society. Eg I've worked with a Treasure and a Princess, both from African backgrounds.

As an aside I know a woman called Strawberry who has a very successful career.

So how exactly did you pick out Victoria, Daniel and Peter as "nice middle class names"?
Because they're really not anyone's stereotype of mc names are they, as this thread has shown?

Suzanne, Daniel, Peter and Victoria were children subjected to SS involvement and ultimately failure.

Poppi (note the spelling) was as well. I did not list every child who was failed by SS in my post. However, Poppy (with a ‘y’) was criticised as a ‘chavvy’ name and I said it was a perfectly nice name.

If you think there was more to it than that - do you think I was finding a toddlers murder funny, or something? I genuinely don’t know what you think I was trying to do? I can assure you I am not being goady but I am thoroughly bemused.

I believe that the assumptions made about names are unpleasant, snobbish and racist at times. That’s really all I am saying. And Daniel and Peter and Victoria were children with ‘nice’ names who were horrendously abused and meanwhile Jayden and Kayleigh-Mai are thriving and loved thanks very much.

Don't be so disingenuous.
You know exactly who you were listing:
Victoria
Daniel
Peter
Poppy

Using high-profile deaths of children to make a point about nominative determinism... completely crass.

What on earth?
Suzanne where on earth did you get that from? I am looking at that list and can't even work out which kids you are referring to!
What a strange and bizarre conclusion to draw in the middle of a discussion about names!

You sound somewhat over sensitive on this!

The teachers I know say that there are certain names that they dread.
Do you really want to inflict that sort of prejudice on your child?

Erm, no, steppemum- see OP's post of 10:22. It was deliberate.

Tamara is an upper class name surely?
What's wrong with Daniel? I had no ideas it was looked down on in the past

No it was not

I will ask again - what was deliberate?

What am I trying to do by saying Poppy is a nice name.

The little girl who you mean is called Poppi.

In fact isn't it biblical? I assumed that was fairly middle class

There is a report into people with non-Western names struggling to get interviews. I know of someone who only started getting replies when she used a Westernised version of her African name.

I have a friend who uses her middle name as didn't like her first name. could be an option to give a different middle name so they have that option as well if you are going for a more unusual first name?

The problem with the names is the attitude behind them.

The people calling their children Caci-Mai and Alfie are unlikely to be the sort of parents who encourage academic success....

I suppose might also be the view that a more unusual name might be more likely to be remembered perhaps

steppemum It may be an unfortunate coincidence, but I know immediately which 4 DCs those first names are associated with, especially when they are listed together like that .

OP, I get the point you are trying to make and agree with you. There are many people on here who seem to live in a different world, citing lack of social mobility that doesn’t tie up with reality.

I am a miner’s daughter with a name that always features high up in those ‘worst names to call your child’ lists yet I have a first in chemistry and a professional job and many of my work colleagues are similar. BIL is high up in banking despite having a similarly unpopular name and being born to immigrant parents. I could list similar examples all day, but they would be dismissed as 'anecdata'.

Is there any correlation between the age of the mother and the naming of the child?
Could it be that a 16-year old's taste might be quite different to a 29-yr old or a 39-yr old?

OP said at 10:22 "I believe that the assumptions made about names are unpleasant, snobbish and racist at times". And yet her opening remark was "if your name is not suitably middle class you are forced into a life of servitude in Asda or Tesco. No being a high court judge for you."

Remind me again. Who's being snobby here?

It didn't seem to hold Christmas Humphries back.

I was being sarcastic there senua