My glockenspiel is broken and I am very suspicious

[Ladybirdbookworm]

I've just welcomed my DH home from an exhausting day at work. I had rustled together some left over poached salmon and cold potato salad with hollandaise.With a bottle of Sancerre waiting to be uncorked......
As he strode across the yard his Prussian blue shirt tight across his biceps I felt a stirring in my loins. I rushed to the bathroom and rubbed Fracas body lotion into the back of my neck and behind my ears, quickly pinched my cheeks and ran my tongue over my lips until they glistened.
I ran towards him my tortoise shell hair blowing in the breeze, his eyes roamed lazily over my pert nipples and down to my coltish legs ......
His Roman nose gave him a slight hawk like appearance and I looked up at him shyly , he nuzzled into my neck and murmered gruffly " I think I have broken your glockenspiel "
AIBU to think he has been rough handed with it ???

nope, not a fucking clue

I, also, am suspicious. If you've been on the gin your spelling is remarkably good!

Is it a book and we're supposed to be guessing?

def been beating it too furiously

Is this one of those "clever" threads where we're supposed to guess what book it movie it is?

Think OP may have been on the Jilly

Can't believe you're on here.
A and E, now!

cake

LTB

You should never over poach salmon.

Ring 101

My postillion has been struck by lightning.

HTH

Why was he tinkering with your glockenspiel in the first place?
Has he read the handbook?
Don't let him touch it ever again.

But did you uncork the Sancerre?

cake
You know I will have to name change now
I'm totally outed.
I've been to a and e and I'm up waiting for 2am to take more painkillers and then hopefully I will get some sleep

Makingtime - Jolly super!!

Honestly! Why did you leave the glockenspiel on the tennis court? You've been told more than once that its proper home is in the Orangery.

This is weird, but why not just buy some makeup instead of pinching your cheeks and licking your lips.

How's the bodice doing? Has it been ripped away in the throes of his smouldering passion or is it holding up well?

Hhm. I got confused there and thought you meant one of those little grey birds with the crest.

Too hot to be suspicious but I was a little baffled last night to see a man wearing an open-sided pyramid (seemed to be made of brass wire rods) on his head, walking through Gerrard St.

As he was walking towards me, I could see some wires and wondered if he was wearing a halo brace but couldn't see an obvious forehead band. As he got nearer and then walked past, no - it was a pyramid, jauntily placed and well-balanced on his head.

Arran, pyramid wearer obviously wandered off the pages of a Christopher Fowler novel.

Tortoise shell hair? Are you a cat OP?

Erm, morning, OP! Just checking to make sure you and your coltish legs are ok this morning. We saw mention of A&E...

It's v Jilly-ish, but was it all a dream?