NC as very outing.
Background: Made contact with a CM when my DD was born so that I could return back to work after mat leave. Also have an older DS, who attends a school CM serves.
CM is fairly new to the whole thing, but seems confident and on contact it turns out that she has availability for the ft care we need for both children. Brilliant. She even offers a discount for the eldest and says that 5-month retainer of £450 can be used for 1/2 days from when we begin payment.
With a newborn in tow, we sign contracts: full-time hours, 5 days a week for the youngest and before-and after-school care for the eldest.
Discount for eldest never materialises. Never mind. Retainer for youngest is 1/2 fees of £450 for 5 months. No payment of bank holidays as per contract and no payment for CM holidays, but retainer if we are on holiday. 6 weeks trial period, during which any party can cancel without notice or reason. Okay. Never had an issue before, confident we'll be fine. We sign and leave, all happy that we have childcare in an area with little availability.
Date we pay the retainer starts and I ask about 1/2 days, with gentle intro. Agreed (grudingly) 1-2 hours weekly, going up to twice a week for 1 hour by the end of the month. Not happy (as not the hours promised), but accepted. No further change made to this, despite numerous times of asking. CM agrees to do a day when I am due to appear at work for an important meeting: I am grateful, but feel like this is deserved after paying out a retainer for what was not (verbally) agreed.
Child collected and turns out bum was bleeding. Queried it and how often DD was changed, CM got defensive, but convinced me everything was fine. Left on a good note.
CM starts requesting that I collect only after giving 30min notice minimum as I turn up before time too frequently and it interrupts routine.
DD develops severe nut allergy and turns out brighter than expected, hitting milestones much earlier than anticipated. CM later says she doesn't believe DD has food allergy as severe as I state.
CM complains DD constantly vomits. I state only vomiting ever done at home is after allergen-containing food and query whether CM is ensuring every crumble from other children is cleaned. CM gets very defensive.
The time arrives for f/t care for both children. CM starts taking every Friday off for some reason or another (illness, fire in a building nearby, own childcare issues etc.). My and DH's jobs being threatened by our employers as a result.
CM requests payment for bank holidays, despite contract stating otherwise.
CM says to DH she doesn't think I trust her and wants to drop us. DH begs her not to, agreed we extend trial period after long talk. All seems well.
CM requests we collect DD (both of us at work - Friday again!) as rash has developed. Rash turns out to be 2 tiny, barely-noticeable spots on chest. CM is fine to my face, but tells DH on the phone she is quitting on us. Left without childcare, jobs already under threat.
CM suggests I quit my job to look after children. CM doesn't understand why I'm working anyway, with small children. CM accuses me of lying about DD's condition and DS's SEN.
Both DD and DS left without childcare. Find new CMs for both children within a few days.
AIBU to wish every evil in the world on this CM, even years later? AIBU to be tempted to write bad reviews everywhere? AIBU to keep hoping Ofsted finally visit this evil witch and make her quit for good?