I've let my home become a tip

[TomasztheWankEnginegoesToot]

I've sent DC away as it's disgusting and I have to do something.

Only posting to make myself get on with it really. I'm utterly ashamed and want them to come back to a sparkly home and better mum.

I know you're not meant to do KonMari in one go but should I just bin everything in my way to get rid of the clutter and on top of things? I'm overweight and overwhelmed, maybe just binning anything that I don't love and doesn't fit would reduce the work involved in fixing this?

Same position here I've sorted out two bin bags of dvds that I haven't watched for over 8 years EIGHT FUCKING YEARS I've got dvds with wrappers on I've never watched them???

I'm just going to thank all the clothing I don't fit for inspiring me to be better and bin them. I know it's wasteful but I think it will be life changing and my DC deserve a better mum who can actually keep on top of a manageable home

3 bin bags/boxes op. One for things you really want to keep, they're seriously useful, seriously beautiful or seriously sentimental. Go into a room and sort these things into a box. Second bag for anything else of any use to anyone- charity shop. Last one is for the bin. Do it now op. The charity shops shut I 2.5 hours giving you 2 hours to do one room. Go tot the tip on the way back. Then clean the room thoroughly and return the (small!)box of things you want to keep. Designate them a place and that's where they belong now.

@InDubiousBattle I wish I could do the charity shop but I don't drive or live near enough and no money for a van. I think I will just end up getting it all out again

Plus washing it all will take longer. Right here goes. I've posted here and will update in a few hours where I have got to to keep myself motivated

Do you have a garage/shed/basement?

Get off Mumsnet and get going! Little by little is better than not at all. Try not to get distracted by your phone or TV. Listen to music/radio!

Just keep at it op.

Good luck OP.

Be ruthless!

OP, please don’t be so down on yourself. There’s some very sad self loathing in your post, which is concerning. It’s lovely that you’re feeling motivated to have a clean up, but don’t beat yourself up over your weight or the current state of the house.
The kids will love you however messy things are and whatever size you are. Just do the declutter because you want to, not because you feel you have to, in order to earn approval or validate yourself.

And have lots of nice cool drinks as you go along - it’s hard work cleaning in this hot weather!

Do it, it's such a great feeling when your house is emptied of unnecessary items and it all feels manageable again.

Last year I did one room at a time starting at the top of the house and working my way down. One room a week. Get rid of anything that you haven't used or looked at in 6months.

A friend of mine prefers to bag everything up and put it in the spare room and then brings it down and empties one bag at a time.

However you do it it will definitely be worth it.

As someone who has done a drastic declutter, I can say it makes a massive difference.

My home is very easy to clean, I just about know where everything is and I got rid of a lot if stuff that was weighing me down in some way. I just feel a lot less stressed.

Every bin bag of stuff that leaves the house helps. I got a real high every time I got rid of something tbh because U felt I was taking back control.

And yes just get rid of as much as you can now and then start doing it as Kondo recommends. Her method is brilliant

You can ring some charities who will come and pick up stuff. I know the British Heart Foundation is one. Don't make excuses.

Honestly, just chuck everything. Bags for charity shops tend to lie around for ages. You can do that when you're a bit more under control of everything. For now, throw it all away

Some charity shops will collect if there's enough stuff

Messy house, messy mind.

I was getting soo stressed out by all the clutter in my house. We're a family of 5 and its so easy to accumulate stuff over the years.

The last few weeks ive started sending dh to the dump. This week alone ive thrown out 6 black bags of clothes, 12 black bags of old toys too broken for charity shops, a broken wardrobe, loads of broken laptops and other broken electrical stuff...

I started in my bedroom and then moved onto the children's bedrooms. The house is looking so much better already and is so much easier to clean. Next week ill be tackling the attic that is full of crap then onto the garden shed. With every trip to the dump i feel a weight off my shoulders.

I had a tendency to hold onto things "just in case" i needed it. But i had to get ruthless. When it comes to throwing out stuff just think "would i care if the house burnt down and i lost this item?" Unless it was family photos or afew sentimental items i always thought "no".

I know it's difficult (probably impossible lol) but try and see this as something positive and exciting. You are doing something just for yourself that is going to make you feel happy and relaxed. Face up to the fact it will be hard but eventually you will get there.

Put the music on loud, diet coke, a roll of bin bags, some bleach and kitchen roll and you won't recognise your house by the evening.

Yes decluttering makes you feel a lot better... but. I am thinking there is more to this, about how you feel about yourself, a mess doesn't make you a bad mum. Is something else going on here?

I would get your family involved - the house is not just your responsibility but your whole families - you all live there. I used to set a timer for 15 mins when the kids were younger and we'd see how much tidying we could get done in that time. Or set them a task of finding 10 items of clothing that were too small and bringing them to me. Lots of competition meant motivated DCs!! Get everyone involved...

Enough stuff might interest house clearance type guys. Where I live people post on FB on selling pages with rubbish to get cleared and people go get it.

I used to be absolutely horrific, so I know from experience you can totally get this under control.

Best thing to do is to start with one room, if you try and do everything at once it will become too overwhelming and you'll probably give up and feel disheartened.

Go for your easy wins first to propel you through doing the rest.

I would also just chuck anything you don't want / need. If its gotten to the point of feeling like this then the process of checking if things are good enough to go to charity, separate piles etc. is just going to slow you down when you are on a roll. You probably will end up with a pile a bags that you 'keep meaning' to take to the charity shop.

Good luck!

Yes you can turn this round. Think in terms of chucks of time to do things rather than feeling swamped by the size of the task. Give yourself an hour or half an hour a day and do what you can in that time using the advice given by other posters. You'll soon be on top of it. I am the same as you and it just goes back to a mess but over time as you declutter it takes less time to get on top of it. Also YY to getting other family members to help out. I regularly call a 'half hour blitz' and everyone goes for it (2 teens and a DH) for half an hour and you get a lot done that way.

Well, i meant chunks for time but ...chucks will do!

I get it OP. I also hang on to things because either I'm too busy/lazy to sort them out or, in the case of the children's things, I really struggle to part with their things. My two top tips are:

1. if it's something I'd like to see again but don't really want to keep (e.g. dusty old craft project from school) take a photo on my phone then dump it but I can see it again if I really want to.

2. I imagine that I'm moving to a lovely new house at short notice and think "Would I want to clutter up my lovely new house with this thing?"

These two tactics really help me. Also, as others have said, just start small e.g. just do one drawer or cupboard at a time. Good luck!