Leaving 17 year old home alone for a week.

[Coulditbeme]

I’m just asking for opinions really and what would you do.
Haven caravan holiday booked for our family next week.
Me, partner, 17 year old, 15 year old, 3 year old and 2 year old.
17 year old DS just announced he would rather not come. I appreciate that this would be his last family holiday with us.

I’d love him to come. It would get him out of his room and away from his Xbox for a start!
But having said that, I don’t want him to be bored & miserable for a week.

I haven’t actually left him overnight on his own before as yet but if it were a night or even a weekend I wouldn’t have a problem leaving him, it’s because it’s for a whole week that I’m very anxious about the thought of it.

What do you think? Insist he comes with us one last time or bite the bullet and leave him at home?
He’s sensible and I do trust him so no worries about him trashing the house.
Through my own fault I admit, he doesn’t know how to cook meals or use the washing machine as I have always just done it. 🙈
That’s a failing on my part I know.
I’m worried he will attempt to cook and not turn the cooker off or something like that!

How can someone not use an oven/ hob at17?

If you trust him, Leave him at home...he'll make your life miserable if he doesn't want to be there! We had our first family holiday without our 17 yo this year. I hated being without him, but he had a great time home alone!

We bought ready meals, and left him money to get a takeaway with his mates and girlfriend.
He knows how the dishwasher works and didn't need to do any clothes washing, but I showed him how to do a simple, every day wash that you can throw anything into.

Hope you all have a nice break.

Stock the freezer up with ready meals and show him how to work the washing machine. Although, will he need to use it in a week?

All these 17 year olds they people wouldn't leave alone - what do you expect to happen between now and next year to mean you would leave them happily?
Or would you refuse to leave them at 18 too?

He won't starve.
Using a washing machine is easy. Show him once if you like but then he can just Google it.
Same with electricity fuses tripping or anything else - just Google how to do it.
I googled how to clear the filter in my washing machine yesterday and there were even videos showing how to do it.

If you genuinely think he would deliberately have a party and trash the house , that's pretty sad. Have you ever had a conversation about what the consequences of something like that would be?

I spent a week at 17 staying at someone else's house looking for after their kids alone - that was only a decade ago! How much can have changed in terms of expectations of 17 years olds in a decade.

We're leaving our 17 year olds for three nights in September. It's slightly different as there's two of them, so they've got company.

I'm not concerned about general everyday stuff - they can both cook basic stuff and use the washing machine.

I am very worried about parties or a 'gathering' getting out of hand if friends find out their home alone. One of them in particular could easily be talked into hosting something small that could escalate.

Strong words will be had beforehand, but I shall worry whilst we're away. If this goes well, we'll do it lots. Opens up a whole new world for me and DH.

good luck OP

Ps - I know the place will be a mess and every light will be left on!

I was left at home for about 3/4 nights at 17. I was absolutely fine other than feeling a bit scared at night!!

Its not about being a perfect parent. As parents we have one basic job with our children - to prepare them for being independent. 17 is far too late to do that.
There's nothing perfect about making sure your teenager can use the washing machine, cook some basic meals, use a hoover, do some shopping. Basic basic skills.
Teach him those skills and leave him to it. If he trashes the house that's a whole other issue but he won't starve or keel over from having dirty clothes if he can't learn the basics.
Tell him to prove he's capable by doing the family washing and cooking dinner a few times before you go if you are that worried.

This thread makes me feel SO old
At 17 I had dd1 who was 2😂😂😂

Thanks for all your comments. We’ve decided he can stay at home. I’ve shown him how to use cooker haha and will get him some easy food in.
My mum is going to pop in on him a time or two just to check all is ok.
Time to bite the bullet.

I have just discovered that my 17yr old daughter resides with my ex-wife. Aware she had Covid after attending a festival but when she got home the mother moved out to her boyfriend for a week and left her alone. Called each day but only left provisions for a few days.
Just wanted to get other people's perspective on this ?

@Kenqpr37
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