Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How’s this for CF

51 replies

Squarepeg29 · 25/07/2018 11:29

DH’s family are reasonably well off, but most of them are tight as hell, and are always on the scrounge. Money is their only topic of conversation. DH is as generous as the day is long, was a constant target for their money grabbing ways (his fault, I know) until his awful wife put a stop to it.

Anyhow, we met while working overseas. Got married quite soon after and have been very happy. We’ve had to bat off loads of scrounging CF over the years - I could write a book.

After marrying we decided to get a mortgage and buy a house in UK ready for our return. FIL (PIL are better off than we are) got wind of this so had a serious conversation with DH which involved us buying their house BUT they continue to live in it in perpetuity!! They didn’t let it drop either, we had follow up phone calls to see if we’d “made up our minds yet”.

A few years later he was trying to get DH to buy his car BUT - you’ve guessed it - FIL would continue to keep and use it!

These days we keep our distance as you can imagine.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 25/07/2018 11:30

Are you the awful wife? Grin

AmazinglyGraceful · 25/07/2018 11:32

Sounds to me like your pil are trying to keep a grip on your husbands life and control him as much as they can. Did you buy the house?

BunsOfAnarchy · 25/07/2018 11:36

What the actual fuck.

We need fuckin CF awards on here because they deserve a flippin trophy for that fuckery.

AnotherCrazyDaisy · 25/07/2018 11:37

Are you the awful wife?
How many awful wives can one have, and continue to refuse such overly generous offers of Cfery Grin

Tartyflette · 25/07/2018 11:37

Eek -- do not EVER let them have the keys or other access to your house if you do buy a property while you're still abroad and have yet to return to the UK.....

They clearly have no boundaries when it comes to material items.

justbinthefeckinbyebyebox · 25/07/2018 11:47

Extreme CF

More stories........please!!!

Original poster
Squarepeg29 · 25/07/2018 11:51

Awful wife and proud, HollowTalk. 25 years now I’ve been a thorn in their bank balance’s side.

OP posts:
hungryhippo90 · 25/07/2018 11:54

Haha you awful woman you. Not letting their son bankroll their home and car.

Tut tut

JohnnyKarate · 25/07/2018 12:00

Do we have the same FIL. Mine is currently trying to convince us that we should pay off his finance on his car and he will pay us back £10 a month till it's paid off.

Yes, of course, FIL we will drop £20,000 on your overpriced car for £10 a month back which will not be paid back in your lifetime or ours.

sue51 · 25/07/2018 12:04

Puts on new twist on the bank of mum and dad. Very cf.

hungryhippo90 · 25/07/2018 13:08

Johnnykarate- that is so cheeky. Where did he get an idea like that from?

NWQM · 25/07/2018 13:10

It’s just astonishing what people think is ‘a good plan’!

ConciseandNice · 25/07/2018 13:12

You are truly the awfullest awful wife ever. If I were you I’d spend £50 getting a nasty fancy trophy made up with CF award and dates on it. Present it to them via FedEx, along with a certificate outlining their CF achievements.

JohnnyKarate · 25/07/2018 13:35

@hungryhippo90 my PILs, for some reason unknown to us, think we are very well off.

Some of his requests are ludicrous. Just remembered last year he asked us to buy a boat that he could use to take on holidays. We didn't have to worry about the cost of upkeep he would sort that just as long as we paid the yearly mooring fees, oh and of course bought the boat Grin

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/07/2018 13:39

This reminds me of a classic thread where the mother of five adult children had died and had already made a will leaving everything to be split five ways. The eldest sister tried to suggest to the other four that she should have all of the money and then, in due course, leave it to the other four in HER will. This was, of course, assuming that she would be the first of the same generation to die and that there would actually be any of the money left. When her siblings declined her kind offer, she flounced off and accused them of never having wanted her to be happy!

Some people, however old they get, just never learn the lesson that most pre-schoolers do, that other people have their own wants, needs, likes, feelings - just like them - and do not exist in a state of suspended animation purely as a means to make THEIR lives more comfortable.

I fear that these giant toddlers frequently don't even see it as taking massive advantage of others because they love themselves so very much, it just wouldn't occur to them that people who are not them wouldn't be desperate to do or give up anything to make their life as nice as possible. They see people like their DS's 'awful wife' as the ones who are well out of order for not following their 'rules' rather than ever stopping to think that, just maybe, she is the normal one and they're the outrageous ones.

ShumpaLumpa · 25/07/2018 13:44

Wow OP Shock! Are his siblings CFs too? Good on you stopping the nonsense.

WeBuilt Shock Can you link us to the thread in Classics?

1CantPickAName · 25/07/2018 13:49

I love a cf thread

whiteroseredrose · 25/07/2018 13:50

Ha ha! CF with bells on.

NWQM · 25/07/2018 14:04

Wow - I’ll take all the money now and you guys can have what’s left later... hmm can’t see why they didn’t snatch her hand off at that deal 😀

haribosmarties · 25/07/2018 14:12

We should compile some kind of CF pecking order... I do think parents who scrounge off their kids would be top of it
Closely followed by 'family members who feel entitled to use your stuff/property/go through your mail/belongings', 'friends who expect you to randomly pay' and 'Neighbours who treat your property as their own and then become outraged when challenged'

Iwantacampervan · 25/07/2018 14:18

The boat reminds me of my friend - they needed money so she suggested to her husband that they sold their boat. Her FIL stated that they couldn't do that as what would he do when he wanted to use it (no financial contribution, share of ownership etc).

WaxOnFeckOff · 25/07/2018 14:22

haribo, I wont disagree with your pecking order, but the cf of random strangers whilst might not involve the same monetary value or persistence must get a lot of bonus points for sheer randomness and the fact that it's a complete stranger. No idea where that fits in, maybe it needs a sub section?

Flexoset · 25/07/2018 14:25

Actually, OP, I think you'll find you want to buy a house and car for me as well. And maybe a nice handbag, too, while you're up.

It will all work out even because I'll leave them back to you in my will.

RabbitsAreTasty · 25/07/2018 14:25

My mother once had a huge rant about how selfish I am because I bought myself a second hand car. My first. I saved for ages.

You see if I had money for a car I should have bought her a car. She lived in a different country. She had a car. She still raises it as an example of how unreasonable I am. Though now she claims she had no car and had to get the bus to work, as if that would have made it any more reasonable.

wink1970 · 25/07/2018 14:27

Ha! On the other hand, we offered to buy MIL's house (at market price) and she can live in it until she dies, as she is down to her last pennies due to her scrounging daughter's kids and she accused us of wanting to safeguard our inheritance!! That's not logical.