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Heartbroken that I'm being forced to sell mum's house, she worked hard for it and paid her national insurance

999 replies

Jkoakham · 25/07/2018 09:28

And now her savings are running out I will need to sell her house to carry on funding it.

It all seems to very unfair, her house was supposed to be passed to me but instead it's affectively passed to government and private companies.

I thought the dimentia tax had been can cancelled?

OP posts:
Motherhood101Fail · 26/07/2018 13:58

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Racecardriver · 26/07/2018 13:58

What about all of the medical care she's had up to date? Money duesbt grow on trees. You are very greedy OP. Basically you don't want the money to come out of your inheretance and would rather we paid for your mother's healthcare instead. No thank you. I have my iwm family to support.

ThanosSavedMe · 26/07/2018 14:01

Op apologies if you’ve already mentioned this, do you have any siblings?

Xenia · 26/07/2018 14:05

Motherhood, my consultant doctor sibling is similar, indeed advised to work as few hours as possible as up against the upper amount you can have in a pension before you pay the extra penalities for exceeding limits. however I am pretty sure NHS consultant pensions were moved from final salary to career average salary just a few years ago.

Bluelady · 26/07/2018 14:09

NHS pensions were changed to career average for people who entered the scheme after the change. Mine's final salary.

crunchymint · 26/07/2018 14:10

Okay a consultant, so a well paid job. Way way less than the average NHS worker gets.

Snowysky20009 · 26/07/2018 14:11

I can't believe the OP actually came as a surprise to anyone. I thought it was obvious 🤷🏻‍♀️

Xenia · 26/07/2018 14:11

Interesting. my sibling is about 51 and worked whole career in NHS. Anyway I might have got the wrong end of the stick. They had to pay £5k for advice just to find out whether to retire at 55 or earlier. I've just given all my pensions at 55 to HMRC/the state and my children for housing so will happily now work until I die.

Bluelady · 26/07/2018 14:17

I'm 65, Xenia so quite a bit ahead of your sibling.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 26/07/2018 14:46

NHS pensions were changed to career average for people who entered the scheme after the change. Mine's final salary.

Pensions only remain final salary if you were within 5 years of retirement at the changeover date. My dp has been in the NHS 20 years and has 3 his pension pots, a 1995 one, a 2008 o e and now the 2015 one. God knows how it's all worked out when he retires (27 years to goConfused)

Motherhood101Fail · 26/07/2018 15:02

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MarshaBradyo · 26/07/2018 15:05

That is very generous - until death? I had no idea
Is it everyone working with the NHS?
It evens out though they provide a great service

MarshaBradyo · 26/07/2018 15:06

Just re-read as long as he lives

Worth a huge amount

jasjas1973 · 26/07/2018 15:07

There will always be some kind of healthcare provision. We are not going to go back to people dying in the streets because of a lack of money

I d not bet on that! 100s (of the homeless) have died on the streets already through lack of money/care.
Quite easy to see a US style health insurance based scheme for those in work and for everyone else the poor house/charity being introduced in the UK as we move to a more populist alt right style of politics.

As can been seen on this thread, many think that old age care should be funded by yourself and for everyone else sub standard basic care, removing the state from any responsibility, they ve already done it with dental and eye care.

Bluelady · 26/07/2018 15:09

Good as it is it's not half as good as a pension from one of the top four management consultants - if only my husband had worked there for longer than five years!

IrmaFayLear · 26/07/2018 15:17

Fil worked as a telephone engineer. He has been retired for 36 years and has received a very generous pension for all that time. Plus when he retired interest rates were very high so the pil's savings mushroomed.

Forthcoming generations will not be so lucky.

Regarding care fees, obviously if someone is in receipt of a large pension, then that is paid first, so capital is not badly dented. So a hospital consultant on a £50K pension (goggle eyes!!!) with care home fees of £50K a year would be breaking even and not have to sell house.

haggisflamingohaggis · 26/07/2018 16:16

People didn’t live anywhere as long when the NHS and NI was setup.

Someone has to pay for the care.

Motherhood101Fail · 26/07/2018 16:18

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Bluelady · 26/07/2018 16:28

The majority of the costs of the NHS are manpower and there's a shortage of just about e dry profession. For the vast majority of staff (not consultants on six figure salaries, obviously) the pension is the only attractive benefit. Cut those pensions and staff shortages would bring the NHS to its knees. Personally I think most of the people who deliver patient care deserve every penny of them.

Bluelady · 26/07/2018 16:29

Not e dry! Every.

MarshaBradyo · 26/07/2018 16:35

Agree with Bluelady it needs to be attractive, plus many do private on top

It means we can get some of the best care there is

Motherhood101Fail · 26/07/2018 16:44

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LeftRightCentre · 26/07/2018 17:05

My dad doesn’t want everything he has worked hard for going to a greedy and pointless government.

That pointless government spent and spends billions of infrastructure, armed forces and countless bills of legislation which allowed your father the stability of a peaceful society that allows most people to go about working hard unmolested, without the worries of food supply, clean water supply, war, political instability, few or no usable roads and transport etc etc. What an ignorant post.

LondonJax · 26/07/2018 17:15

Well my mum is one of those who gets her care package funded by the state. But the implication that she (and my dad) sat on their backsides all their lives couldn't be further from the truth.

My dad lost a lot of education due to illness when he was younger - before the days of extra help in school, SEN etc - so was unable to read when he left school. My mum taught him. Because of this he had manual jobs paying just above minimum wage.

Mum left school at 14 years old and, even when she had us, worked every single day since. She and dad did shift work so one of them could be home with us when we were toddlers - mum would work 4.30pm until 10.30pm in a factory, dad did 6am til 2pm. They couldn't afford childcare or a babysitter. When we started school mum became a dinner lady so she could be off on holiday the same time as us and she and dad did sewing or stuffing toys at home to supplement (I remember helping them when I was little - counting toys into boxes etc).

Mum now has Alzheimer's and Vascular Dementia. She had attendance allowance which, with her state pension, allowed her to get care in her home. We would go round every day between us to make sure she was OK, help her shower, do her washing etc., Then she became so confused she began to forget to eat - she had meals on wheels (paid for by her) but the carer would sometimes find it cold on the side as she'd forgotten to eat. Then she was found in the reception area of her council run sheltered housing scheme. One more step and she'd have been on a busy A road at 4.30am. At that stage we knew we couldn't even have her living with any of us - my friend who has her mum living with her can't even go to the loo and leave the back door open in this weather as her mum has managed to wander out of the back door, round the side of the house and onto the pavement during the time she's been in the toilet. She has to lock the door every time she leaves the kitchen. There sometimes comes a point where more security is needed than the average house (or occupants) can cope with.

Finally she collapsed at home and, after 3 months respite, social services said they felt she would be unsafe at home even with maximum cover.

We had the choice of exactly three homes. Two were in towns over 40 miles away. The third, which we ended up with, was in special measures...sounds awful but they were in that because of paperwork missing and an inept manager. New manager is dragging them up and mum is safe and happy. But, if they don't get to the correct level in the next six months mum will be moved to the home 40 miles away... No choice - no money. We'd have to find an extra £400 plus per week for the next stage up care home in the area and DH is due to retire in a couple of years. It sounds awful but we can't take the chance on mum living another 2-5 years and us paying the top up. At that stage we wouldn't be able to afford it and mum would have to move in the final years of her life when she is going to be even more confused.

Oh, and forget the 'the state pay for her care'. The social services team take all bar a few pounds per week of her state pension then make up the difference in what they are charged. And that's fair enough because her state pension would have paid for her food, lighting, heating, care at home etc. The care home IS her home now so the pension goes to them. We get a little left over to pay for clothes, toiletries etc.

I really wish mum and dad had been able to have jobs where they could afford a mortgage. We'd have had more choice and we wouldn't live in fear of the doors of mum's care home shutting and her having to move 40 miles away. But mum and dad simply didn't have the wages no matter how hard they worked. State funded doesn't mean lazy.

Xenia · 26/07/2018 17:28

Ah yes, bluelady, my sibling at 51 is a mere youngster. They do have a silver merit award which I think also feeds into income for the purposes of future pension.

I have no problems with any of this despite never having had an employer pay into a pension for me because I work for myself and aam happy enough to work until I die. Our father (NHS consultant) worked full time to 77 outside the NHS and as long in the NHS as they would let him - about 63 I htink, having put every last penny into pensions and died at 79 so not exactly great value and of course his NHS pension died with him which he had to draw at 75 in those days.

Londonj, I am sorry about your mother and it does illustrate the different and complicated situations there are between different kinds of people. My own mother died at 76 at home so no care etc needed. My father used life savings for care which is fine as he died at home in a house he'd bought 50 years before with our mother.