Heartbroken that I'm being forced to sell mum's house, she worked hard for it and paid her national insurance

[Jkoakham]

And now her savings are running out I will need to sell her house to carry on funding it.

It all seems to very unfair, her house was supposed to be passed to me but instead it's affectively passed to government and private companies.

I thought the dimentia tax had been can cancelled?

A politician would have a hard time selling this in
The squeezed middle pay too much on cc etc
The bottom end are struggling already
The top pay feel they pay a huge amount in tax

Who will happily pay?

If this meant your mother did not have enough money to meet her needs, I would agree.
But this is about your inheritance i.e. unearned income.

hope my parents are never in the position of having to go into care, but if they are I'll have no problems seeing the house sold, and funding the best possible care I can to make sure they have as much dignity as possible.

If that means no inheritance, so be it.

That's good but not all of the people who need to be moved to a care home want to go or want their kids to lose inheritence. Fuck going in a care home.

Look on the bright side. My gran, who has no assets is partly funded by the LA, and then my parents fund the rest of the money so she is not kept in the most basic conditions, not luxury, but pleasant. At least your mum has assets so it’s not an extra expense for you.

And we are paying extra money to my FIL so he can fund enough care to stay in his own home. We will get no inheritance, but care about what happens to him.

It's not just about the people who would benefit from an inheritence being selfish and greedy, it's also about how the people going into care feel and sometimes it's them that want to give the inheritence even though their kids don't care/want them to go into a home

I'd much rather have shitty care as an elderly person and leave my kids money etc, them living in a more luxurious care home and leaving kids nothing.

I understand that. But their care has to be paid for somehow. Personally I would introduce a large inheritance tax to pay for social care. Would mean that those who do have relatives going into care, would still inherit something. But most who stand to inherit do not want an inheritance tax as they gamble that no care will need to be paid for.

I bought a house as a home,so I wouldn't be trying to manage rent on a pension and as a fund to pay should I need to go into a nursing home.Full stop.

god yeah i really hope they legalise assisted suicide I dont want to sit in a care home for ten years wishing i was dead watching everything ive worked for my whole life being sucked into my 'care' rather than going on my children to make their lives better.

Raising income tax to pay for it would be "pooling risk" that some want.

However, people are not even prepared to pay to fund the current NHS and welfare system properly

Are voters really going to choose a party that wants to raise all the tax bands by say 5-7%
to save the inheritances of a minority ?

Will people who know they have no hope of an inheritance accept a 5-7% higher tax band so that others can inherit ?

Honflyr Shitty care does not mean cheap food and surroundings. Shitty care means neglect and maybe abuse. Good care takes trained staff who are good at their job. That is not cheap.

BigChoc Which is why a decent inheritance tax would be fairer and would pool the risk.

It’s always been like this I worked in a dementia nursing home for 2 years and this is what happened when they come in if they couldn’t afford one of the more expensive rooms with a view they put in the cheaper rooms in the basement but people have always had to sell assets to pay for their care and it costs a lot. IIRC the LA where talking about bringing out new rules so that when their money runs out the LA will pay for the care but the family had to pay the top up not the resident. But if your really that upset about having to sell the house to pay for her care then look after her yourself.

The sum suggested that everyone pay to "insure" against care costs was costed at £70,000
The £30,000 was only reduced for political reasons, i.e. the taxpayer would still foot most of the bill

Of course, only a government could run such an insurance scheme, because no insurance company would write policies with a 1 in 3 risk of paying out huge sums.

Dementia is an awful disease and requires 24 hour care so it is unrealistic to expect the OP to have her mum live with her if she has a family. My MIL got progressively worse with it over a period of about 10 years, the first 6 in her own council bungalow with warden and then we had to move her to an assisted living place and eventually a nursing home. She had no assets though so it was paid for by the council. We could not commit to paying for private for her as there was no guarantee how long she would live and financially it would have crippled us as we still had a mortgage and were saving up for our retirement. She never bought a house due to a divorce when my husband was a baby and although she worked she never saved enough.

There is a massive difference between LA funded facilities and private nursing homes or care facilities. My stepdad spent 6 months in hospital and suffers with mild vascular dementia and my 82 year old mum could not initially have him home so he went into a lovely private care facility which he funded himself out of savings. It had restaurants, hairdressers, trips out to the local parks or pubs etc etc and games mornings. It was like a hotel. After 6 months of this he was well enough to come home.

There is a bit of a ticking time bomb with elderly care. I am not counting on any inheritance from my mum as I would rather she lived the rest of her life in the same comfortable private home my stepdad was in should she need to. We have helped our daughters with house deposits, university etc and should we need our house proceeds for either my husband or me to go into a care facility then I hope they will understand. Not ideal and I would rather they inherit our house should we keep it until then.

crunchy I would be very much in favour of raising IHT to cover care costs
That would be a fair way to pool risk

The alternative is that you care for her.

I’m not pro higher IHT

I don’t think the op can be cross at her lost inheritance but nor do I think there should be little benefit in being prepared for your own care

Caring for someone with dementia breaks people. When dementia gets bad people lose sense of night and day and wander around at all times of the day. They do things like pee in the carpet because they know they need to pee, but can not remember what a toilet or bathroom is and how to use it. They try to get out of the house and wander around.
It takes more than one person to do this care because people need to sleep.

Marsha You either pay tax, or you pay for care yourself if you have a house and money. How else do you think it should be funded?

I’ve been pretty consistent
You pay for it yourself

old age isn't health

OP is not talking about old age. Dementia is a terminal health condition/disease not the forgetfulness of old age. Average life expectancy from mild impairment and diagnosis can be as short as 7 years.

Dementia is rarely a consequence of 'life-style' choices of the working class (how insulting). I personally know of one man who was an alcoholic and developed vascular dementia. He qualified for CHC and was state funded.

In the middle to late stages there are frequently issues such as double incontinence and difficulties with the mechanics of swallowing alongside severe issues relating to memory and general cognitive ability. Whilst these issues 'score' with regard to continuing health care in relation to other medical conditions, when a person has dementia they are frequently discounted as par for the course or considered to be social rather than medical.

It is the defining of medical needs as social needs that leads to suffers and their families having to spend and realise all assets to privately fund what is really medical care.

This is what feels unequal. Is there another terminal medical condition where financial obligations equate?

I’m pro the system as it is

We can’t afford to pay for all

I don’t want higher IHT