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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be fuming after being sent this video? [**Trigger Warning** child abuse - Edited by MNHQ]

46 replies

Giselleb1 · 25/07/2018 03:33

So my mil sent me a short video on whatsapp of a woman gruesomely beating her poor 4 month old baby :-( The video is the most disgusting thing ive seen a human being do to another person so i couldn't watch. The caption was "be careful who you leave your kids with"
I got so upset i cried and deleted it immediately. Its so insensitive of her to send it to me as i have a 4 month old myself. Im so livid she sent me that and i keep having flashbacks of the vid and feel sick (its that bad)
AIBU to be absolutely livid with her?

OP posts:
Milkshakeminer · 25/07/2018 03:36

YANBU that’s awful. Has she said anything about it, it’s not a virus is it? It couldn’t be a scene from a horrible movie?

NonaGrey · 25/07/2018 03:43

That’s horrific. I’m so sorry you had to see that.

I would have quite a lot to say about that, as would DH.

And then I’d block her email and on FB so she couldn’t ever message me again.

VimFuego101 · 25/07/2018 03:48

If she's not a twat usually then she was probably hacked.

Faerie87 · 25/07/2018 03:52

I would say that’s pretty bad!

Is there a reason why she sent it? I know many people on social media share awful videos in an attempt to catch the perpetrators? For example “this person has beaten up this child, share this video to get their face known to the authorities!”

If she did it because of that I would say it’s still insensitive especially when you have a child of that age too! I also think what good is it sending those videos? All it does is upset a lot of people and in many instances the person in them are already being dealt with the police. Hope you feel better soon, I too hate seeing stuff like that xx

Anxious2niteaaah · 25/07/2018 04:00

How is your relationship before this with mil, has she ever forwarded anything strange to you?...does.she have anyone other than you and dh as her contacts in her whatsapp?..just wondering as once I got forwarded a domestic violence video of husband hitting wife.
.and I was like ConfusedHmm and I asked why I had been sent it...turns out someone sent.it to my contact who them forwarded it to me (and to all their other contacts

So could that be the case?...it's been forwarded on to mil who has just forwarded it on to you (probably appalled at what she was seeing and in her own way trying to warn you that not everyone is safe to leave a baby with)

Would mil really be the type to.search the internet for a video of a baby bring beaten up?...

If your relationship with mil.was good before this then don't rush in all guns blazing , just calmly say to mother in law that baby video was quite upsetting where did you get it from...and give her chance to say, and then calmly say why did you send it to me...and give her chance to say...you.will achieve more that way than by arguing,a and you will get a more.honest answer from her...if a person feels yelled at or confronted their guard will go up.and you won't get anywhere with them..

KickAssAngel · 25/07/2018 04:26

IS this anything to do with you intending to go back to work? Or a crazy attempt to make you leave your baby with her rather than childcare? IT is all kinds of messed up. Does your DH know? HE should deal with this - firmly.

AjasLipstick · 25/07/2018 04:33

Text back "It's illegal to share such videos. Please don't send me such upsetting things again."

Monty27 · 25/07/2018 04:38

Have you asked her why she sent it?
Very creepy. You haven't noticed any bruising have you? That would scare me Shock

Coyoacan · 25/07/2018 04:41

Oh that is horrible, OP. A friend posted a video on facebook of a dog being subjected to extreme cruelty on the other side of the world. I took me ages to get the image out of my head

Original poster
Giselleb1 · 25/07/2018 08:25

I think it was sent to her and she forwarded it on. I did some research to find out if the baby was ok - thank God the mother was arrested and the babys with social services now. MIL often sends videos but never anything like that before. I haven't noticed any bruising, no. I will be speaking to DH about it.

OP posts:
Snipples · 25/07/2018 11:08

Oh that's so horrible.

I just can't fathom why people share hideous videos like that, even if they mean it well. It's so upsetting.

I would be quite firm with her and say don't do that again as it's very upsetting and hopefully she gets the message. How awful.

Pengggwn · 25/07/2018 11:11

I'd answer: "I am always very careful about where I leave the children. I will be even more careful from now on as some people lack judgement."

Let her read into that what she likes!

Maelstrop · 25/07/2018 11:16

Why the hell would she send something so vile? I saw the awful one where the nursery worker pushed and flung crawling babies round, totally disturbing. No way would I share/forward stuff like that. She’s bizarre to send that.

MotoringCautiouslyOnward · 25/07/2018 11:53

What the fuck! How upsetting Sad

How are these videos even out there? I mean surely it's evidence in a court case against whoever is assaulting that baby - how does that get leaked?

I despair of the world sometimes.

Nikephorus · 25/07/2018 11:56

Maybe she hadn't watched it herself and thought it might be relevant to you, given your child, so forwarded it? Don't fume unless you have all the facts.

SoShinySoChrome · 25/07/2018 19:25

So what’s the update op? Did you ask the questions pp suggested?

shinyredbus · 25/07/2018 19:35

No she’s bloody awful for sending that. I block people who send me stuff like that, I had friends who sent me dogs being cooked alive to eat - I told them they were vile for sending it to me as I have dogs and they knew how I felt about that festival. Kept sending so I blocked. Sending a.child one is disgusting.

Original poster
Giselleb1 · 25/07/2018 19:45

Asked her why she sent it and her response was "just so you know"
DH says she was only trying to be helpful Confused - dont know why i even bothered asking him #mummysboy

OP posts:
Tabathatwitchett · 25/07/2018 19:49

Block her OP. It doesn't matter who she is. Block her so that you don't have to see stuff like that again from her. It sounds horrific. I'll be thinking about that poor baby all night now and I didn't even see it. Just hope someone has stepped in.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 25/07/2018 19:54

I hate this kind of thing, at work the other night I had 'hey Zig check out this video it's hilarious'... it was of a horrific accident, I presume the person died but I don't know as I stopped watching it as soon as I realised what was happening. Still thinking about it now two days later though Sad
In your mil case I'd ask her not to send those kind of things to you again!

liquidrevolution · 25/07/2018 20:00

Be careful who you leave him with?!?

So that would be the MIL not ever getting to look after him then.

SmallBlondeMama · 25/07/2018 20:01

Omg that is terrible and traumatic. And more importantly, that poor baby in the video!!! I hope someone called the police and saved that baby!

4cheekymonkeys · 25/07/2018 20:11

I hate things like this, it's like videos of animal cruelty that people share. We don't need to see it to know it happens. I would be really upset too Thanks

Original poster
Giselleb1 · 25/07/2018 20:15

I did research and apparently the baby is in social care. The mother has been arrested. I would love to block her but that would just cause a whole drama

OP posts:
pandarific · 25/07/2018 20:18

'Please don't ever send me anything like that again.'

Loon.