I can't (or won't) lose weight!

[gulloffate]

I'm 35, two kids (14 and 2), I don't eat really healthily but I don't have a vastly different diet to DH and DS1 who are both normal weight, but I'm huge!

I've done shakes, WW, SW, Atkins

Nothing sticks

I hate exercise

What can I dooooooooo????? 😔

I’m assuming you want to lose weight? I’d start by writing down the reasons you want to make changes so you can be clear about your motivation.

Then I would track what you eat every day for 2 weeks. Write everything down. The My Fitness Pal app is good. Then you will have an appreciation of what calories you are actually taking in. I suspect it’s higher than your DH if he hasn’t put on weight. Then you’ll be able to start making changes.

What does ‘not vastly different’ mean? Is it likely you’re snacking a lot between meals? Or that they are exercising more?

Did you have any success on the diets you’ve tried so far?

If you’re eating the same as your 14YO DS then that’s probably your problem. Your DH at a minimum also needs 500 calories more than you and he might just be blessed with a super speedy metabolism if he too has a similar diet to DS1.

Good luck with loosing weight and getting healthier if that’s your goal!

I'm huge too so can empathize!

Are you eating the same food but in larger portions than your DH and eldest son? You will probably have a much lower baseline calorie allowance than your DH, to stay the same weight, if your DH is taller than you.

Look for a 'BMR' calculator online to work out how many calories you need to stay the same per day, then minus 500 calories to lose 1lb per week (3500 per week reduction) and 1000 calories to lose 2lbs per week!

Identify problem areas such as binge-eating; snacking etc. and identify how you feel when you eat those foods and what you could do differently (e.g. phone a friend, go for a light walk).

It's all easier said than done though!

"I hate exercise" is not an excuse for anything.
I hate doing laundry; should I give up having clean clothes?

The 5:2 diet has worked really well for me and my husband.

Good luck.

Ditch the fad diets. Have four meals of 400 cals a day and be active. Or if you're short three 400 and one 250.

If you want a cake eat it as lunch not aswell as something else.

Got a fitness app on my Samsung phone that's really good. It monitors how many steps you take in a day. It doesn't feel like exercising if you're just walking and it's easy to do 10000 steps which will help lose weight. Also it tracks calories eaten if you put the food in and calories burnt. Brilliant

If I ate what DP eats I'd be huge.
He is much taller than me and much bigger, he has a more physical job.
Diets don't work. You need to make lifestyle changes.
Slim people generally eat differently to overweight people.
Start by cutting out anything you eat between meals. Stop having things like sugary or calorie laden drinks.
Do not finish DC2's plates.
Eat smaller portions. Eat more veg and more protein, but less carbs. Fat is fine in moderation and some fats are good for you. Be mindful of portion sizes.
Start each meal with undressed veg or salad if you can.
Exercise isn't that bad really - it takes your mind off other things, and lots of things are free exercise (walking to the shops, cleaning, gardening). Some forms of exercise make you feel great.
Learn to embrace hunger. Being hungry is actually not unpleasant. What is unpleasant is feeling really stuffed but hungry because your sugar levels have dropped.
The 5:2 diet is worth looking into.

Sometimes even snacking a tiny bit can really stack up the calories. For example there is something like 80 kcal in every hobnob so having 3 or 4 biscuits throughout the day might not seem a lot but is actually the equivalent of a small meal!

What’s your height and weight op?

Hypnosis apps on mindful eating - Paul Mckenna or Mindful Eating - might help. The Mindful Eating one is free (but you can upgrade for £3.99 for more options). Listen to it whilst dropping off at night. Working for me.

@Ethylred that really made me chuckle! I will remember that next time I try and excuse myself from exercising

I'm like you OP.

Great advice there from @MikeUniformMike

I hate exercise too, but am going to start looking at it like the laundry like someone above has said. Something that needs to be done.

I've been using the Virtual Gastric Band app this month and am loving it. Not lost loads of weight, but sleeping better and feeling more positive. Just sensible eating and drinking a shit load of water (which is easy in this heat!).

Ethelred thank you so much for your well thought out reply and your very helpful plus insightful advice on how I can improve my current situation, it is much appreciated.

Anyway.....

MUM yes that makes a lot of sense. I think my problem is I am unhappy with my appearance but I am lacking in motivation, I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's years of failed diets

Mellie I'm 5'11 and about 16st

If I ate what my dad or brother ate I'd pile on weight! As much as I'd love to enjoy a white bread sandwich, packet of crisps, cereal bar and chocolate bar for my lunch everyday, it just wouldn't be good for me. I'm 5,3" and used to be 13st which was massive for my height, I lost 4 and a half stone after realising that I probably didn't need a snickers every night or two rounds of toast before bed. It really helped me to write down exactly what I was eating and add up all the calories, before I did that, I had no idea I was consuming so much. If you don't know the calorie content, it might be helpful to post your average day's worth of food here and someone can help you. Best of luck OP, I know dieting is really hard and I really wish the best for you x

If you can't face the 5-2 diet have a look at the 16-8 diet? I'm on it now. Basically means I dont eat at all after dinner and have brunch/lunch as one thing rather than breakfast then lunch. I feel much healthier. I'm not weighing myself but my clothes are getting baggies round the middle which was much needed! And I feel more in control. I'm also logging everything I do eat. Which makes me more mindful of my choices.

As others said, if i (5'4 68kg exercises everyday but walking,pilates etc) ate the same as my 6'2 100kg, running, weight training, martial arts DP id be huge too.
Get my fitness pal and stick to it.
Start by trying to do your 10000 steps a day.
Build up from there
It will work promise

You eat too much

Youre eating as much as (more than?) An adult male and a growing teenage male. Thats why youre gaining weight

You can still eat the same things but your portions should be 2/3 of theirs

MyFitnessPal is really good, as well as showing you in black and white what you eat (and this alone can be a shocker as we fatties are able to eat almost without even realising it - just absent-mindedly finishing off a DC's plate or picking out the fridge) it also shows you the carbs, fats and protein you've eaten that day. Increasing my protein intake has really helped me feel full on fewer calories.

There will be some short-term pain as you adjust to eating less; go with this, allow yourself to feel it. It is ok to be hungry for a bit. It really is. It's normal. I was so conditioned to think any moment of hunger was terrible and that I wasn't "full" until I was completely stuffed.

I hear you on not liking exercise but something like a Zumba class is actually quite fun and the time goes quickly. I feel AMAZING after I've been, it feels really good to have gone.

Good luck. I have to admit I wasn't getting anywhere with losing weight until I wrote an essay on obesity for uni and something just clicked that it is not good for you. That and reframing my thoughts - previously I was all about the "diet" as a short-term thing but that's not sustainable. You need a lifestyle change. This is it, now. You have to maintain this for ever. I still have treats and "cheat days" - but whereas before I would think "well I've blown it now so may as well go back to being bad" I now shrug, think "I enjoyed that, now back to normality" because eating healthily and doing more exercise is normality now.

Download MFP and be brutally honest with what you eat. Guaranteed you'll be surprised.

I was eating Ikea bowls of cereal and milk for supper : entered the amount into MFP and it worked out to be 600 cals a pop!

I second the My Fitness Pal app.
It's really helped me cut down on portion size and snacking.
I'm allergic to exercise but getting a cheap imitation FitBit has helped motivate me to at least up my daily steps.
Good luck

Try and find an exercise you enjoy and do a but everyday it could be as simple as a long walk or dancing to a few favourite songs anything to get you moving more. Eat less food and add in some exercise.

Slimming World will work if you stick to the plan. My weight is in the range for my height but whenever I think I’ve had a few weeks of too much food and drink, I go back to the SW plan and the weight drops off again.