I can't (or won't) lose weight!

[gulloffate]

I'm 35, two kids (14 and 2), I don't eat really healthily but I don't have a vastly different diet to DH and DS1 who are both normal weight, but I'm huge!

I've done shakes, WW, SW, Atkins

Nothing sticks

I hate exercise

What can I dooooooooo????? 😔

I can't help with the food side of things (I'm lucky to have pretty much always been slim), other than to give general guidance on how I eat:
I try to ensure I have at least 5 fruit and veg every day (making them part of the meal rather than additional snacks IYSWIM? - so berries with muesli and greek yoghurt for breakfast, lost of veg with dinner), if I've eaten a large lunch say, I'll skip dinner (or just have some fruit and a little bit of cheese and crakers). I don't tend to eat much bread or pasta - I find they make me bloated and feel sluggish. I don't eat as much as my DH - I portion our meals accordingly. But I do eat cakes, chocolates etc, I've got a terrible sweet tooth.

However, exercise is something different. I used to be a complete exercise avoider, reluctantly doing the odd bit here and there because I "should". I've completely changed how I think, and now feel a bit angsty if I've not done something for a couple of days. The change in mindset took a REALLY long time (years I'm afraid). I think it started as I was approaching 40, was a little wobblier than I liked and had a double chin (despite being slim), DH had broken his leg so was stuck at home, giving me a lot of free childcare. I started seeing a personal trainer, and the rest is history.

I still see my PT now (4 years later), roughly fortnightly, and I do a variety of things at home in between - generally circuits type stuff with weights, some HIIT. I also try to get to a yoga class weekly, and do a circuits class, oh and while the evenings are so light, I try to get a minimum 30 min walk in after dinner with DH and kids.

I definitely think there is something for everyone, and if you enjoy it, it won't feel prescribed as such. I did Zumba for a while, that was lots of fun, but one class in particular used to leave me really sweaty, so was definitely doing good. I don't think I've met anyone who doesn't like doing weights once they've learnt how, and the results are quick and very measurable.

Activity watches have also definitely increased my interest - I'm secretly very competitive (generally against myself). I started with a Fitbit, but now have an Apple Watch that sets me daily and monthly challenges, plus I'm friends with other Apple Watch users, and we can comment on how we're all doing (tends to be abuse really . I also set myself separate goals using the functionailty of the watch (eg this month I've decided to try to burn 10,000 calories during my workouts alone - all data from my watch).

Good luck!

You need to eat as much as YOUR body needs, not DS or DH.

Faddish diets such as Atkins/shakes won’t work, WW/SW do.

Maybe if you want to lose weight you can over ride your dislike of exercise. At 35 you start naturally to lose muscle, so it’s actually important to exercise for your ongoing health and future, not just to lose weight. If I get an enforced break from exercise it’s difficult to start again. It involves getting sweaty, getting washed, being knackered. But once in a routine it’s fine, and it helps regulate your appetite.

Hi
Do you drink enough water ?
I also take Inulin (health food shops) this sorts out your gut flora and then everything begins to work properly
I also second the walking. Improves your mood too
Jillian mckeith (can’t rennet the spelling) a short sharp do it at home exercise. Good luck

I agree with the first poster, monitor what you do for a couple of weeks so you can see what the necessary adjustment is whether that's portion size, snacking food choices etc.

Making a few minor tweaks e.g. drinking more water and reducing portion size of an otherwise healthy meal is going to be much more sustainable than a faddy diet.

I find I have to evaluate portion size every few months. Some changes such as serving porridge in a small children's bowl instead of an adult bowl make a significant difference for very little inconvenience.

Placemarking because I'm
Huge and nothing works

Thanks for the kind comments.
Forget 'diets'. The word diet is enough to make me put on weight.
Keep busy. Forget about food.
Stop disliking how you look - you have a DH and two DC who love you.

16:8 is probably quite a good idea. I try not to eat after 4 pm.
I can eat a cooked breakfast and a large lunch and am not hungry in the evening. I wake up ready for breakfast.
The blanket nothing after 4 pm means I don't raid the biscuit tin when I get home.
I would stress that this works for me because I avoid High and Medium GI foods because they make me feel weird. I eat lots of green and not green veg, I eat eggs and dairy in moderation, and things with protein in (lentils, beans, pulses, tofu,etc) .
It's probably not ideal but it suits me.

The killer for me is not having that one decent meal, and eating sugary crap. I have no self control when it comes to biscuits and crisps and things so I don't buy them.

As I said earlier, the feeling properly hungry is not a bad experience.
If you really hate exercise, put on your favourite music when no ones around and have a good boogie, sing too if it helps. I challenge you to not feel good doing that.

I am a member of a health and well being plan that's been about for 16 years and has recently come to the UK (16 months ago). I have two shakes a day that are mixed with water, they taste and look just like milkshakes. I also have other foods with this company which are really tasty.
I also have a 500-600 calorie meal a day. I lost 19 lbs in 5 1/2 months and have kept it off, as well as losing 30 inches off my body.

I am so glad I am on this plan because I feel healthier, with more energy and my constant migraines have disappeared. I gave up junk food and don't miss it.

I tried all the diet plans in the UK and none worked. I just ended up putting more weight on. . I know a lot of folk that do these plans and once their goal is reached, they go back to their old ways therefore end up putting all the weight back on again.

Sadly, these diet companies rely on this fact and this is how they make money. It's also about changing how you think about food. When I look at the junk I used to eat, it shocks me.

Exercise also helps. I go out hillwalking with my daughter in a back pack and she isn't light. I do a lot of walking, and sometimes swimming too.

It is a mindset that you have to get yourself into. You want to change? The first thing is to do it for your own health and fitness. It's something that only you can decide on. It's really easy too once you get going and there's always lots of support too.

I hope you find the right plan that suits your lifestyle. There's folk out there willing to help and support you.

Try Dukan, it works.

I empathise, but there are way to lose weight. I’m currently on exante. I’ve lost almost 3 stone since May.

Give it a go if you’re desperate. 3 bars a day and it’s working for me xx

Barring medical issues, everyone can loose weight. You need to eat less calories than you’ve need. Food should be a good proportion of fruit and vegetables, some protein and smaller amounts of carbs and fats.

What do your current meals look like?

You have to want to change for you, and you alone, and that's the mindset you need. Find something that makes you want to change, that isn't just about 'how you look in a bikini'.

Me, I play rugby, and because I'm a bit older, I have to work REALLY hard on my fitness. At this time of year (pre-season), I'm in the gym weight-training three or four times a week, at game training three times a week, and I run 5km or so a couple of times a week too to get some endurance in.

I'm vegetarian, so have to think quite hard about what I eat in order to maintain my weight while training (I'm a forward, so have to have 'a bit aboot me'), and to be honest, it's all a bit of a faff. BUT when I'm playing, I forget all about the twattery and the running in the rain and the getting up early and all the f*cking broccoli (best veggie protein source going!), because I LOVE playing, and that's what motivates me.

I'm a couple of inches shorter than you, and currently 72kg, for reference. I am bad at eating, so I probably only eat about 1700kcals a day, but I know a lot about my body and my BMR, so I know that's something I have to work at (on a game day, I need about 3000kcal!).

Could you find time for a couple of sessions with a PT who specialises in functional fitness and nutrition, who might be able to advise you on your body type and a good approach to food and nutrition and (whispers) exercise?

As PPs have said, diets don't work - you need to embrace a lifestyle that works for you.

Good luck!