AIBU: To want 'my own car'?

[IronNeonClasp]

I share 'my' car with my ex-h. Whoever has the kids has the car. Been like this for 14m. Worked at first but only have one key which I hand deliver to him after every school run, 10m walk to station and half hour on train (£25 a week). And I am bored of sharing the car with him.

He's taking the kids away next week for the week and taking the/my car.

My Dad told me "I am mental" considering getting a car (and giving ex the existing bloody car). My Dad pays for its servicing so obviously what he says goes but I pay the monthly 'joint' insurance.

I've found a car for £200 I'd like to buy myself so I am rid of this shit. I'm mid-40's; full-time job and it seems I am unable to take risks and make decisions without my Dad's permission.

I'm having difficulty ascertaining whether I'm being spoilt and un-realistic?

Help?

Take him off the insurance policy, then he can't drive it and you're spared the ridiculous trip to drop the key off. If he tries to drive it, call the Police. It's your car. Once that's done, sell it or trade it and get something you do like. He can sort his own transport out and stop freeloading off you.

Taking back control like this will do you a power of good; give you a bit more confidence to them stop your dad being involved, too.

If you're the main carer for your child, tell the ex you're putting in your own claim for tax credits and child benefit; HMRC/DWP will investigate and should award them to you. If you earn too much, at least they'll take the money off him.

Get him out of your life. He's dragging you down, but you're blaming a car.

Thanks again for support and replies.

Yes - I receive the CB. Majority of nights I have them 4/5.

My Dad lives a ten minute drive away but gives me absolutely zero support for the children. He doesn't even know what school they go to. My Mum lives in England so cannot help (but she's been to fete's at the school when she's been down!). My ex-in-laws on the other hand have them whenever we need them to - so they've had them this week. This makes me feel incredibly guilty that I am reliant on them and not my parents. So yes - the money thing is a blatant crutch for me. He will pay for 'child-care' (even though he never has to date) rather than look after his grandkids. My Dad is well-off - earns more than me a month with his pension.

All of the insurance details are correct yes 43. We had a couple of 'accidents' over the years/joint insurance in his name/his address.

I think I mentioned upthread that I've had a bit of a drink problem/self-medicated for 14m. So I was spending a lot of money on that. I'm hoping now this month to be getting kids passports and looking at finances. I really could have had a drink last night!

I do want to tell him to buy his own car but as a poster said I need to give him some fore-warning as he needs time to process shit. Urgh.

I need to sort my male boundary issues. If anyone could point me to anything I'd really appreciate some reading fodder..

Also - to add. Ex and I are close and amicable and I don't want to fall out with him - his family hate me. It's good that we 'get on' for my kids. We try and do 'family days' and stuff so I don't really want to lose that friendship iygwim.

Could you buy and give ex the £200 car? If you want clear of the car though, just give it to him! Screw what your Dad thinks, how long would it take him to realise anyway?
I don't think ex can claim maintenance if you're the main carer btw.

'Close and amicable '

Because you run round after him and financially support him.

If you are happy with this dynamic for the sake of your children fair enough. But I wouldn't be running myself ragged after this man (or any) in return for nothing.

Could you say your dad says he's not to use the car anymore since he brought it? Then your dad's the bad guy iykwim

Good lord @Allthewaves don't encourage her to hide behind her dad!