when someone kicks you in the insecurities

[Pinklady11]

dated someone briefly a while ago. Was all going well, dtd, then bam got totally ghosted. Just about hung on to my dignity and sent the one message of 'I respect you don't want to see me again, but could you please tell me what went wrong as maybe it's something I can work on?'
Anyway, this was a fair few weeks ago, just got a message out of the blue saying 'I'm sorry but I never appreciated how tiny you were and it just doesn't work for me'.
In context: I'm 4'11. I do usually wear heels, but not fuck off stripper ones, at most 3 inches (so puts me 5'2 - not really giant!). My height is something I've been ridiculously self conscious about even before my teen years but getting older I really thought I'd put the worst of it behind me. I'm pushing 40 and I'm generally quite happy with what I see in the mirror. I'm a size 6 but with good boobs and arse, so I have 'womanly' curves (no mistaking me for a child lol! Think of a cross between Kylie and Dolly )and I think I have a pretty face. This sounds really big headed, but it's not because I've always been shadowed by this massive insecurity over my height.
So here I am, getting teary and feeling like I'm 15 all over again. Is 4'11 really to short to be attractive?

He’s a fucking Bellend.

Or did he mean “my dick is just so gigantic that I couldn’t get it in” or other nonsense.

@itchyknees say it as you see it! That actually made me lol!

I have the opposite problem at 5'7 being too tall

I can't change my height so if someone doesn't like it they can go do one!

no other explanation than 'it doesn't work for me'. Haven't replied.

I’m 5’7 and am weeny compared with all the men in my life. It’s all relative. But he’s still a bellend.

Turn right and continue.

This person was a moron. Cmon you know this. You do.

I can’t understand why on earth you sent that message. Please don’t do that again. It says ‘kick me in the teeth’ and he did.

As for being too small to be attractive, that’s utter bollocks- (and I should know) everyone has a cross to bear, forget about the tosser and enjoy yourself...

4'11 sounds utterly charming - my MIL is shorter than that. After being widowed in her 70s a few years ago, and after a period of mourning, she's not been without a Significant Other tho' she's now in her 80s.

So, no. Height seems to have no relationship to suitability in a romantic relationship.

Plenty of men out there like us shorties! My husband is on the short side and loves that he towers above me. Don't let the bastards get you down .

Of course it isn't too short to be attractive!

It isn’t you, it’s him. And it’s unfortunate and yet probably no coincidence that he picks up on your insecurity. He could have just as easily said “I just didn’t appreciate how Capricorn/libdem/ginger you are” and you would have thought “what?”

Any man who shags and then disappears isn’t worth the salt of your tears my love. You dodged a bullet.

5'7 isn't tall! Had a 'friend' in my early 20's who was 5'10. She once told me that when she walked in a club every man noticed her, whereas they don't notice short girls (would do eyeroll emoji but don't know how ).

He sounds like a bellend

But

Why did you send that message? What were you hoping for? Whatever it was it wasn’t going to be pretty

Mistake number 1 :
Asking him if there is anything you can 'work on'.
Mistake number 2:
Thinking for more than one milli-second about his fuckwit answer.

Does it matter what someone who behaves that way thinks of you?

I'm 6ft on the nose. Was told by a few men I wasn't girly enough for them due to this. Or I wasn't 'allowed' to wear heels as I would be taller then them. Twonks. You can never win.

Fuck him, he did you a favour there

Don't you dare let that stupid comment make you cry!

Tbh you sound hot save it for someone who deserves you !

He's randomly picked on something you can't change about yourself to close down any discussion. What he really means is he chalked you up and he wants to lead on as many women as possible. Obviously you deserve better.

Why did you ask him what was wrong with you if you didn't want him to tell you what was wrong with you?

Was completely perplexed as it was off the back of us going away for a weekend together where I thought everything went brilliantly and he'd left it at 'I've had such a good weekend'.
Suppose I was setting myself up for a kicking, but was expecting something more like 'we have different backgrounds' or 'you drank too much wine on the friday' or even 'we not sexually compatible' than you're too 'tiny' for me to want to be with you :/

The answer was never going to make you feel better so why would you send it?

What utter bullshit. The cocklodger. Onwards and upwards!

So your short, slim, have great boobs and arse but are worried about your appearance? 🤔😄

Most around your age are worrying about diets, or too far gone to care/try!!

Bullshit! He's lying. Sounds more like he played you along until dtd, is incapable of dealing with an adult relationship and so ghosted.

His issue NOT yours. I'm 5' 2 and can't wear heels. Never had a problem getting dates. (Problem finding the few decent people TO date, men and women, but no shortage of offers).

Forget him.

Text back I was going to say the same about you...🔬🍆