when someone kicks you in the insecurities

[Pinklady11]

dated someone briefly a while ago. Was all going well, dtd, then bam got totally ghosted. Just about hung on to my dignity and sent the one message of 'I respect you don't want to see me again, but could you please tell me what went wrong as maybe it's something I can work on?'
Anyway, this was a fair few weeks ago, just got a message out of the blue saying 'I'm sorry but I never appreciated how tiny you were and it just doesn't work for me'.
In context: I'm 4'11. I do usually wear heels, but not fuck off stripper ones, at most 3 inches (so puts me 5'2 - not really giant!). My height is something I've been ridiculously self conscious about even before my teen years but getting older I really thought I'd put the worst of it behind me. I'm pushing 40 and I'm generally quite happy with what I see in the mirror. I'm a size 6 but with good boobs and arse, so I have 'womanly' curves (no mistaking me for a child lol! Think of a cross between Kylie and Dolly )and I think I have a pretty face. This sounds really big headed, but it's not because I've always been shadowed by this massive insecurity over my height.
So here I am, getting teary and feeling like I'm 15 all over again. Is 4'11 really to short to be attractive?

I agree with MinaPaws. He’s just a bellend who likes to shag around and he’s picked on something that you can’t work on. He probably didn’t mean to be cruel, he’s just one of life’s dickheads...

TacoLover Op didn't ask 'what was wrong with her'. She asked what went wrong as she might be able to work on it. Clearly, OP's height is not something she can 'work on', so the response was unkind and inappropriate.

He's a knob. There's nothing wrong with your height. (my grandma was 4"10 and had 14 children with a man 6 feet tall)
I was dumped for being too tall at 5"9, for a woman much smaller. Some men are just dicks. Don't let it get to you.

What a dickhead.

I agree with a PP that he randomly picked something you couldn’t change.

Some people are tall, some people are short. It’s not good or bad, it just is. Don’t give any more thought to what he said. Also keep in mind that he might not have been the one who wrote it! If it was a few weeks later, anyone (eg a mate) might have got hold of his phone.

What a cock. I’m sorry this happened, OP.

OP you sound gorgeous, from how you have described yourself.

But- don’t ever ask a man for feedback like that again. He is not your client or your boss, his opinion will not help you grow your brand. He is a flawed human with a chip on his shoulder. The fact he chose to ghost you is an indication that he is deeply uncool. He is seeing you through a lens blurred by his own hang-ups. You don’t need his feedback.

Lucky escape!

My best friend is shorter than you and men are always going gaga over her.

… because of her petiteness, I mean.

Just reply, "I felt exactly the same about you, funny that!"

What a knob.

He lost interest and when pressed, came back with something you absolutely can’t change.

There’s nothing wrong with you, Dolly Minogue , you’re just not his thing.

I'm vertical challenged. First husband was 5ft 6 short arse, 2nd little over 6ft. AMA!

Thank you for all your replies, I am reading them, just too quick to reply!

It's something he knew I was self-conscious about. Have a bit of a running self deprecating jokey thing going on all the time about being little.

@PeckhamPauline I do get attention. I do notice sometimes people / men look at me but I'm 50/50 over whether it's in a 'look at the girl dressed up in her mam's clothes' kinda of way '

Dolly Minogue is absolutely going to be my new username!

Most blokes I know love tiny women.... maybe it was just hurting his neck?

What a dickhead. He totally just chose someone that you can't change about yourself so that you have no comeback.

Unless of you course you text back that you're going to stretch yourself out on a rack and would that suit him?!

Seriously OP, life's too short to be worrying about losers like that.

Wow sounds like you had a lucky escape... he sounds horrid

How tall was he anyway? Obviously he was a 'perfect' man..!

Good luck, hugs and hope you find a really nice man soon.

Ghosting is horrible. Why do man or women do that? It says more about them than the person they ghosted... cowardly why to end things.

Was he 7 foot tall?

Aww OP agree with others, don't waste your time over this loser! Also don't point out your faults to others or ask some loser how you can " work on" things! You sound lovely, my friend is 4 foot 11 slim with curves. I'm 5 foot 1. Hopefully you will meet someone who deserves you soon

Unless he was 1) astonishingly handsome with 2) the most amazing personality & was 3) staggeringly intelligent I honestly wouldn't give him a second thought.

The fact that he so rudely commented on your height rule 2 & 3 out. Forget & move on.

You could reply with

‘Funny you should say that as I couldn’t believe how tiny YOU were.’

Geez what a complete douche canoe he is.

My best-friend is the same height as you, everyone always seems to think she's adorable although I think that might be more annoying now that she's older.

Most men seem to prefer shorter women so that's really quite the reverse.

"NoNoCharlieRascal

Text back I was going to say the same about you..."

😂

It was probably just a random answer to your question

Of course you are not too short for the right person

I wouldn’t text that again though

Dolly Minogue is a great user name