Self discharge from hospital after birth?

[Lozzateex]

I’m due to give birth in 2 weeks, and I’m dreading it. Not the birth as such, but the staying in hospital after! I originally wanted a home birth because hospital was the only thing I hated the idea of, but I have a number of mental health issues and I’m on medication for them so Iv been told that the baby will need to stay in for monitoring for a few days after to make sure he doesn’t have any withdrawals.
The idea of being away from my partner and people I know for that long surrounded by strangers in a busy hospital ward in this boiling heat for that long just makes me panic and cry and think all sorts of things. I’m in a frenzy about it now and I’m not even there yet! I know it seems trivial and it’s only a few days, but I’m still in a very fragile state of mind and that will push my over the edge!

Iv been researching and legally, they can’t force me to stay in hospital and I can self discharge myself after so many hours. I could also self discharge baby if there were no issues, but because he needs to be monitored I realise that I can’t and it’s better for him to stay in.
So my question is... can I discharge myself while baby stays in to be monitored? I understand that they could try to talk me out of it and advise that I didn’t, but if I’m INSISTENT what are the laws on it?
It might sound mean to leave him in alone but please don’t judge me. You don’t know how my mind works and I’m getting a lot of professional help right now and trying to get better, but I know that will set me off and send me straight back to square 1 again. I couldn’t find any definite answers online, so I thought I’d see if you have any wisdom to share with me on the whole subject.
Thankyou all so much in advance!

Why don’t you just go with the flow, rather than have the rigid mind set of leaving, I say this because you have no idea how the birth will go, worse case scenario you may need a c-section and believe me there is no way you would be discharge after such as major operation.

I don’t think they can stop you, however please don’t make firm in your mindset, births rarely go to plan.

Unless you are assessed as not having capacity and are sectioned under the mental health act they cannot physically stop you from leaving at any time. It is likely you will be asked to sign a form stating you are discharging yourself against medical advice. Would you really leave your baby being though?

Could you request a private room for mh reasons?
Would that help?

Have you talked about your worries with anyone? I would assume you have some contact with mental health professionals since you are prescribed medication?

I did. It wasn't planned beforehand but it was a weekend I was fine and they just kept saying the person to sign me off was away until Tuesday. I'd been in since Friday and it had been a routine caesarian and I wanted to go home. They were not nice about it but it was right for me
Next hospital and birth sent me home in 48 hrs, I had a slightly trickier caesarian but it wasn't the weekend!

I self-discharged after I had 2nd DD. They insisted I stay for the day but I said No, so they just made me sign a form to confirm Id discharged myself. I hated my hospital stay after DC1 so I already knew that barring complications, I just wanted to be at home asap after giving birth

Do you have DC already? I think you’ll find it hard to leave your DC at the hospital (not judging but a child’s pull is different from any experience)
Also, if you were to discharge yourself would you not be there all day anyway?

If I were you I would call the hospital and ask for a visit to the ward. Explain your fears so just say you would like to just look around before the time comes to give birth.
Another thing you could ask them is if they have any private rooms. The hospitals near me have them, they charge you for them but means you wouldn’t be in general ward.
You also need to be mindful that you could be in prior to the birth. Some people just go and have ‘turbo’ births so they are in and out within 24hrs but it’s also possible that you could require an induction and they can go on for days.
Also ask the hospital what their policy on the other parents staying. Some women on the ward do not like guys staying on the ward (as you are in quite a vulnerable position) where as others wouldn’t give it a second thought. My DP could have stayed if that’s what we wanted but we decided it was best he got some rest so I could rest when I got home and for him to be in charge.

I self-discharged the day after a c-section because the ward was hell on earth: boiling hot, ridiculously noisy with people coming and going all hours and huge families with kids being rowdy all day and night, and the midwives wouldn't bring me my pain relief, or let me carry my baby, or let me sleep with baby in the bed with me. I figured at least at home I could have my bloody paracetomol when I wanted it. I was much happier at home, and better cared for. Downside was I had to self inject my anticoagulant medication which was a bit grim.

See how your birth goes, and how baby is. Tbh I don't think you'll want to leave him if he needs to stay in.

You can discharge yourself but where would the baby end up? I don't think that the postnatal ward would be able to care for the baby so baby might end up on a paeds ward with no one-to-one care.

I don’t think you’ll want to leave your child in once he’s here. If it’s your first you’ll not understand the drive to be with your baby. I think you need to discuss your poor mental health with your care providers. You need support and you need it now not after baby is here and you have so much more on your plate than now. Babies are all-encompassing 24 hours a day.

There will be no one to care for your baby if you discharge yourself... they are just not set up for that. Who will feed him/her? Also not judging but I think you’ll find it hard to leave them.

As others have said - you can self discharge but who do you expect to look after your baby?
I really don’t think you understand how difficult it would be to walk away from your newborn when he needs you the most and honestly you might find that doing that affects your MH even more. I’d seek professional support.

You are responsible for looking after your baby, you can't just leave him there in his own.

I suffer from anxiety and had a perinatal team before birth. I was worried about my section so they ensured I got my own room as I had to stay in for a few days. Talk to your team to see if they can contact the hospital to get your own room. I didnt pay for it in case you are worried about cost. Please dont leave your newborn, it will be horrible for both of you.

I think you would be very unreasonable to self discharge and leave your newborn's care to the nurses. On the post natal ward you're expected to change nappies, feed, soothe, comfort and cuddle your baby around the clock, and be there to keep an eye on him/her. The nursing staff are rushed off their feet caring for mothers who have had C sections or are too medically unwell to care for their babies.

I think the majority of women have anxiety about staying in hospital after the birth. I certainly did! I'm a very private person, with an anxiety disorder. I thought it would be awful sleeping on the ward. It wasn't fun at all, but it wasn't awful either. I was very anxious about my baby being ok so it was nice to watch over her and have the medical team on hand.

I think when you've had a baby, you need to put the baby's wellbeing above everything. Your own preferences and fears aren't so important. I was kept in for nearly a week (baby had jaundice and difficulty feeding). Yes it was noisy, stressful, intrusive and I hated sharing bathrooms, but you just tolerate it.

Probably not the most sensible thing to have done, but I told the midwife that I'd kick the locked doors open and take my son with me if they didn't discharge me. They weren't happy about it, but they discharged us both almost immediately.

I'd had a very bad experience on a hospital ward not long before this and couldn't be there any longer. Perhaps people might judge me, but the hospital didn't feel like a safe place and it felt imperative to get my son and myself away from there.

Yes you can self discharge but what about your baby? When they usually need monitoring they just stay with you on the ward unless there are complications, so there won't be anyone watching and feeding your baby. It's different if the baby needs NICU time but that won't happen unless baby is actually poorly as it takes up a critical cot for a baby in need.

If you baby is fine and doesn't need monitoring then by all means do discharge yourself because there is nothing better than being home, however it's likely to ring alarm bells if you leave without your baby or take your baby against medical advice. Especially if you have a history. I think you need to call your MW and discuss your concerns. Is there a more relaxed birth centre you can go to and have your family around?

Have you spoken to the hospital already? I've gone through this twice (ie two children) and once I was on a ward (not crazily busy) and the other time was in a different hospital and I was given a private room. It depends what medication you're taking of course, but with mine the 'monitoring' really just involved a good all-over check by the paediatrician and that was about it. Fortunately neither baby suffered any noticeable effects whatsoever.

Unless you are a prisoner or sectioned, there is nothing stopping you coming or going at any time! If you really feel that this will have such a huge effect on your mental health, you should definitely discuss it with your HCP ahead of time and get everything sorted. But beware of making judgements/decisions before you know what the actual situation will be! I was really well looked after during my time on the ward, and at the other hospital I had my own room which was more like a somewhat sterile hotel than anything else! Not that I wasn't glad to get home, but after giving birth you might actually enjoy being looked after and being able to focus on your baby for a few days.

I had to be induced due to rfm when i had my daughter, i had been planning on giving birth i the birth centre but had to go into the ward, i made it clear once i had the baby i dint want to stay and they transferred me down to the birth centre and did a quick discharge so i didn't have to stay the night, but this was because both me and my daughter were fine and there were 0 complications, you can only ask not to stay but be prepared that there may be reasons as to why you need too, good luck with the birth x

OneStepSideways your entire post is ridiculous. A lot of women don't "just tolerate it". OP is obviously on some heavy and/or unusal medication for her baby to need monitoring for days after birth.
Comparing this to the completely normal anxiety almost every woman feels is stupid. If you are too mentally unwell to look after your baby, you are medically unwell.

There is no other area of healthcare where the patient is supposed to manange their own conditions they had when they went in, their recent health need that saw them going into hospital, the general workload of the nurses (why would anyone care about this in the context of being a patient?!) and the full time care of another patient. OP is entitled to be looked after, she is ill herself, and she absolutely does not have to put the midwives first. Martyr yourself, but don't involve other women.

OP, you need to see if they can make sure you get a private room. I think it will be better for you and your baby to stay together but I can absolutely see why you don't think you'll be able to stay on the ward. If you explain this to them hopefully they will agree. This is a medical need and you're entitled to be supported in this way.

As parents we sometimes have to put to one side our anxieties and do what’s best for our babies. If a doctor says your baby is not well enough to be discharged then you need to work through your own distress to be there for him/her. Leaving your newborn baby on a busy ward, by his/her self is not an option. I know it’s not easy (if have mental health problems myself) but your baby needs you

With my first he developed pneumonia shortly after birth so ended up needing a 7 day course of antibiotics .. he spent first 3 days in neonatal as he wasn't eating the amount they wanted and then I got him back for the last 4 nights - but this meant I had to stay on the ward to care for him as they aren't there to do all that. The nurses and doctors are there to monitor his health and give him his meds when needed but the care is down to the parents so I don't see how you'd be able to just self discharge if your baby needs to stay in.

You will have to put the baby first. Stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on what is best for the baby.

Who's going to look after your baby in the hospital?

I understand how you feel, I have pnd and cried through a large part of my 9 day hospital stay with my youngest. I don't think it would be possible to discharge yourself and leave the baby behind.

Are you seeing any mental health professionals? Can you talk to them about your options to make your hospital stay easier?