To tell her to just fuck off?

[Bingbangboo1]

I have a friend who is a different colour to me, I am "black" & every single time I talk to her she mentions my colour such as 'black people don't do that 'I like the black people's 'God listens to black people"
I've told her to stop saying it as it's really quite offensive, in my eyes. My colour is irrelevant to everything!?
Feel like just telling her to fuck off & never speak to her again!

white fragility etc She's not white.

Dear God what a strange person.

I assumed she was.
Ok colourism then

she's 'othering' you which is incredibly racist - as you know.
but can you be arsed telling her that then listening to her whine and cry at being called a racist. white fragility etc

dump her xxx

She isn't white though

She is no friend OP, ditch her.🌸

YES THANK YOU

You have the patience of a saint, OP.

In your shoes, I would probably drop her. You could try telling her why but I doubt she'd understand as she sounds pretty dumb.

YES THANK YOU

YOU'RE WELCOME

What a bizarre person. What is ethnicity is she?
I'd dump her and tell her why. What a weirdo.

to me, it seems she is trying to prove to herself and others she doesn't have a problem with people of different colour, by having you as a friend.

whereas with remarks like that, it appears she does! if she didn't care about colour then remarks such as those would never come up, I have a very diverse friend group many different religions and races, yet it will never be mentioned unless I ask a question about something specific to their culture/religion if it has been brought up by them first in conversation, then it is purely to gain knowledge and to not be ignorant of other cultures, basically, I dont really give a fuck what colour, or religion someone is, all I care about is that they are people and my friends I treat them all the same, with trust respect, honesty and love. and how they treat others.

so yeah tell her to fuck off! you dont need her in your life

She’s not a friend OP

My mum s like this, has to describe everyone by colour and how they look. Picks everyone apart on how they look, just casually, as part of conversation. It makes everyone really uncomfortable and drives me mad.

Her dad told her that this was the last thing that should ever be mentioned as it was wrong to describe people by their colour.

I think that's taking it too far. You would usually identify someone by their most prominent feature. If you know two Ashleighs/Ashleys and one is female and one is male, you'd say whether it was the female or male. If there are two Katherine's and one is black and one is white, you'd mention colour. I would ideally usually try to use another prominent feature, (tall, short, the one who came over on X day, etc) simply because in a less diverse area a black person would constantly be being described as black. But I wouldn't tie myself into knots to avoid using their colour to describe them. Because if being black is something to avoid mentioning, would that mean people consider it is something to be ashamed of? And that should NEVER be the case.

My aunt is like this. Always asks how my "Black friend" is. Even though she knows her name.

Just wish she would say "How's Rachel?" Why does someone's colour have to be the first thing you notice and mention?

You're very patient to let her say all those things. Does she just assume she can talk about black people (or just you?) like that? I assume she's white?

Get rid - she's not a real friend.

Just read another post on this. So she's not white - but she is a complete twat. Dump her.

Op I would sit down and have a talk with her and ask her truthfully is she your friend because she likes you and your personality etc...or is she your friend because you are black?

You do not have to put up with this op, you don't have to be anyone's token "black friend" that she can use to boast to.others about...

Op you sound lovely, please know that not all of us are like your friend and that if you look for other friendships you will find ladies of different races who will love you for you and for the friendship you bring to their life...

Dump her for sure!
Even the news does it. Everytime they cover a story about a person of colour is on they say
"Local Indian mans house burnt down" "Chinese woman chopped her foot off"

Never do I hear "White woman..."
if they are white they just say where the person lives or are from. Ridiculous.

She's horrid!! A real friend wouldn't do this and she would definitely know it's offensive.

YANBU. Fuck off is long overdue.

My friend does this with our mutual friend, ie when she talks about her to me she'll say 'you know, black Sue' & every time I think its just Sue
*Sue is not her real name.

'white fragility ' joins the long list of meaningless epithets (from the US) thrown about (which includes white privelige, white guilt, whitesplaining and all the rest) which make my teeth itch - it is the automatic go to for any offence before it has been ascertain whether the person is white. See what happened on this thread. The 'friend' in question also stresses colour when related to 'white' people. So stop with the making so much about someone's colour whether they be black, white, brown or yellow.
wolfpac I don't think this is always how the news reports - often it is the name or the area where it happens that indicates a person's ethnicity.
The population of the UK is nearly 90% white/european so the default is obviously white/european so not worthy of mention

I'm not in the UK but in my country this is how they report the news unfortunately.

Yeah she's a wanker OP. Glad you've decided to ditch her. Hope you tell her why, and post here if it makes a good story

Urgh, no. Please do tell her to fuck off. You can and you should.

This sounds horribly like my in laws, who say shit like “your chinky friend” - which is all kinds of wrong on many many levels, all of which DH and I have both explained to them so, so many times. They also called one of my friends by his name (eg “how’s Mike”), until they found out he was gay at which point it became “how’s your gay friend”. We call them out on it. Every. Single. Time. It’s exhausting. If they weren’t family I would 100% have told them to fuck off by now.