Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ALMOST in tears over a can of tuna

70 replies

aryto · 23/07/2018 23:47

I know I'm being crazy and unreasonable but I just need to rant. DP asked what I wanted from the shops for dinner (he was going out). I'm trying to eat healthily so opted for tuna salad, I specified that I wanted tuna in sunflower oil and spinach, he came back with rocket and tuna in brine. I'm not proud of myself and I would like to attribute my actions entirely to being hangry (have only had toast today) but I threw what can only be described as a fit. He swanned off to a steakhouse and I was left with my plate of weeds. Why does he consistently do this? Always bringing back the kind-of-right-but-wrong-thing? Especially as I always go out of my way for him. Anyway, I know I'm an immature nutter right now and should be grateful to have a plate of food but I just need to wallow in self-pity.

OP posts:
Karigan198 · 23/07/2018 23:56

Just having toast followed by tuna and salad for the entire day is not eating healthily. It’s technically meal skipping.

You know you were unreasonable. I’d go apologise and play the hangry card if I were you. It’s not a perfect shop but I can see how someone not on a health food kick could mix the items he got up. I doubt it was intentional

Original poster
aryto · 24/07/2018 00:01

Sorry for drip feeding but I should've mentioned that I'm pregnant and experiencing nausea here and there so wasn't able to stomach much food today, definitely not intentionally skipping meals. I'm eating healthily not to lose weight but for increased energy/nutrients.

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 24/07/2018 00:03

Especially as I always go out of my way for him

So stop. Smile

MyDcAreMarvel · 24/07/2018 00:04

Its healthier in brine.

gamerchick · 24/07/2018 00:06

Yep just stop. Grab the first thing you see that resembles what he's asked for.

delphguelph · 24/07/2018 00:06

He swanned off to a steakhouse and I was left with my plate of weeds.

^

Grin

Sorry. Chuckling at weeds.

He needs to make the effort more.

FlapAttack23 · 24/07/2018 00:06

When you're pregnant anything goes... id have had a tantrum too 😂

I had Hyperemesis and was pretty much flat out stuck in my room.for months as just couksnt stop being sick. When i had a food craving it lasted about 20.mins so if he got me wrong thing id be devastated 😂 the worst thing was all sugary drinks suddenly switching to sweeteners which made me so ill 😣😣😣

Applesandpears23 · 24/07/2018 00:07

I really feel for you having morning sickness in this heat. I remember asking my partner for particular meals when I was morning sick and then sobbing with disappointment if they were even slightly different to what I imagined. I hope you don’t mind a little advice but it really did help to eat something every 2 hours all day, both with the sickness and the emotions. Can you do an online food shop and fill the cupboards a bit?

Reluctant2ndtimer · 24/07/2018 00:07

Fuck apologising, him getting you ‘almost but not quite’ just shows he can’t quite be arsed in my opinion. You’re growing his baby and you deserve the tuna you asked for. Why the hell has he swanned off to the steakhouse and not back to the shops?!

counterpoint · 24/07/2018 00:08

Tinned tuna is not so healthy when you're pregnant.

VanGoghsDog · 24/07/2018 00:08

I dunno, my ex was like this. Everything just off. Ask for tea, get coffee. Makes you toast, put peanut butter on which you hate (complains when you don't eat it), books a gig when you already said you had other plans (whines that you never do anything together)....

In the end, I actually felt it was a low level form of control. Telling me I couldn't be myself, couldn't have or do what I want, but very subtly so it never really looked bad.

Only you know if this is the case.

Karigan198 · 24/07/2018 00:08

Oh if you’re pregnant then it’s probably those hormones being buggers again. Eat what you can and try to relax. I used to much through packets of ginger biscuits and they did help

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 24/07/2018 00:12

You are living on your hormones which makes you a nervivore who is constantly hangry.
Please don’t diet while you are pregnant

ToadOfSadness · 24/07/2018 00:15

It isn't healthy in brine, it is salt, lots of salt, and the fish is already full of salt and mercury.

Spring water is best, however oil is not unhealthy and in some situations can help with skin problems and constipation.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 24/07/2018 00:16

When I was pregnant I spent an entire afternoon hand making my own burgers from scratch. I cooked them, did the cheese, buns salad etc. Looked in the cupboard and husband had used the last of the ketchup and not told me. I threw the entire lot in the bin and cried for about 4 hours.

I don’t even like ketchup.

NonaGrey · 24/07/2018 00:20

Stop going out of your way for him.

Stop throwing tantrums. Explain to him calmly (when you can) that this kind of behaviour makes you feel unloved and uncared for.

Original poster
aryto · 24/07/2018 00:21

The situation is a bit of a one-off, just moved into a new house so haven't had time to stock cupboards. I was managing to keep it together but when I noticed the can didn't have a tab (had to dig out can opener) I was apoplectic. I don't think I would've cared had I not specified but just knowing he went in that shop and grabbed the first thing he saw got to me.

OP posts:
QueenUnicorn · 24/07/2018 00:25

YANBU
Tuna in brine is a whole different thing to tuna in sunflower oil.

haribosmarties · 24/07/2018 00:25

ooooh I once threw an entire takeaway pizza in the bin because it had the wrong topping on when my husband brought it home. Then I locked myself in the bathroom and wailed for about an hour.
I was also pregnant at the time. I just had a complete breakdown about it. It was pretty unhinged.

He did go back and get the right pizza though....

Eveforever · 24/07/2018 00:28

My mother does this with gifts. She gets something similar to what I want, but not what I want. I won't lie, I've been a bit gutted by this on a couple of occasions. Now I get my own gifts, that's working out really well.

Original poster
aryto · 24/07/2018 00:30

Reluctant He didn't have time to rectify his mistake as he was late for his friend's birthday meal. Did offer to order me something but I didn't fancy anything.

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 24/07/2018 00:31

I had a similar hissy fit when pregnant because it was hot and I was obsessed with eating ice cubes...and DH froze my cubes for me WITH FRIGGING JUICE!!

NO!

I flipped out. I was looking for my normal water ice cubes and he'd used juice thinking it would be nice for me. Bless him.

WRONG!

Dreamscomingtrue · 24/07/2018 00:32

After I had my first baby (3 day labour/C section) I gave my husband a shopping list. A pack of Strawberry yogurts were on the list, what did I get? A big carton of plain yogurt and a tin of strawberries. He didn’t “see” any strawberry yogurts. That was 33 years ago and he hasn’t been shopping since, I wonder why I don’t trust him. The same with cooking, first meal, raw omelette and half cooked soggy chips. Sometimes there’s a method behind their madness? 😬

Tinywhale · 24/07/2018 00:40

I'm with you on the rocket. It has a very weird taste, I'm not particularly fussy but I couldn't eat a pile of that.

I think I would have taken the view that this situation justifies Deliveroo Smile

AdoraBell · 24/07/2018 00:53

Agree, stop going out of your way for things he wants, and don’t diet whilst pregnant. You have a human syphoning off most of what you eat, so don’t limit your calorie intake.

Swipe left for the next trending thread