AIBU to just want someone to say he’ll get there in his own time

[LoopyLou1981]

DS will be 3 next month. At the beginning of the year the HV said that his speech is behind and to get him on the list for SALT. He’s now on the list (after a few pointless box ticking exercises) and we’ve just been told the waiting list is 10 months.
I’ve got my head around that and told myself that we’ll just have to keep encouraging him.
Now today his key worker at nursery has called us in for a meeting to say that his strength and gross motor skills are that of a 2 year old and we need to get him seen by the HV.
I know they’re trying to help. I know they’ve got his best interests at hard.
But I can’t deal with any more negative comments about him. Is it too much to ask that someone just sees a happy little boy who is kind to the other kids in his class and think he’s just going to get there in his own time.
I know I’m being stupid and emotional but it’s horrible being told on several occasions that your toddler is failing. Especially when I haven’t got a bloody clue how to fix any of the problems 🙁

I’ve been where you are, and would say take all the help you are offered. It’s not a criticism of your parenting, it’s an offer to help your child reach their full potential. Early intervention really is key, so get on the waiting lists, and if you don’t need the appointments by the time they come around, excellent, just cancel.
My ds was diagnosed with a severe expressive speech delay, sensory processing disorder, and hyper mobile joints. He didn’t walk until he was 18 months. He didn’t really speak until he was 3.5, and he was still in nappies until not long after that. He was unable to dress himself or feed himself until just before he started Reception last September. He’s now thriving and just had an excellent first school report. He’s doing so well because we accepted the help offered, and pushed for even more. Good luck.

I feel you. DD1 is 4 and we are in the middle of ASD assessment, having been referred to SALT at 2y3m by HVs as she wasn't talking. We've been through Paediatrics where she was assessed as 12-24 months at 3.5 and they referred on to autism services. She's finally potty trained for wees but won't go anywhere other than home. We've filled in so many forms and answered so many questions and fielded so many glares and "well meant" suggestions (have you tried x/y/z?) that have made me feel about an inch tall because I feel so inadequate and ill equipped.

But, she's a bright little thing, with a phenomenal memory and an obsession with planes. She's gentle with her baby sister and gives lovely squeezy hugs when she's inclined to do so. And her laugh is the most beautiful sound.

Your little boy will develop at his own pace. Early intervention can help and it's great he's getting referrals early even though it feels a bit rubbish as a parent. The paed told me they do tend to err on the side of negative in referrals. But the most important thing is your wonderful little boy who is happy and kind - two things we should all aspire to be.

@LoopyLou1981 are you ok?

Hi! Apologies for the lack of replies. It’s been one of those days today and I don’t think I’ve stopped!
Thank you for all the nice messages. I don’t think I came across very well. Of course I’ll get him in for any therapy (or other) sessions. I’ll fully appreciate any help that he’s entitled to.
I also didn’t mean to cause offence to anyone by suggesting that him being lovely would equate to him not having other problems.
I was just having a hard time hearing more people tell me that he’s behind all of his peers in yet another way. Added to that, I’m either passed from person to person or put on a waiting list with no one really giving me any advice on how to help him. I wish I had a bottomless pot of money to pay for private assessments but, unfortunately, that’s just not an option.
Thank you all again and apologies for my ranting yesterday xx

I have a disabled child and from birth it was all negative comments, I understand how heartbreaking it is.
My son is 8 now and I’ve realised that children aren’t robots, before age 5 they can be so different in abilities. By 5 they should all roughly be about the same but some will have better/worse speech some will/won’t be potty trained.
For what it’s worth I didn’t speak until I was 5 and I’m ok, I was told my son wouldn’t speak and he does.
So either take everything they say with a massive pinch of salt or tell them you’re not concerned but know where they are if you need them x