Not taking a baby into a weatherspoons?

[lionstigersbearZ]

Well tbh I KNOW I'm not being unreasonable I just want to vent because I'm a bit upset (most deffo overreacting)

I am co parenting my 3 month old daughter with my exP. I'm BF so he doesn't take her on his own yet.

He gives me NO money for her and has never bought anything for her either.

We were out the other day and we wanted to stop for some food. I suggest we just go to the nearest weatherspoons. ExP pulled this disgusted face like I'd just spat at him and said "there is no way I'm taking my daughter into a weatherspoons. She's not a pauper"

His family are verrrr middle class and I'm very working class. And the funny thing is she pretty much is pauper especially as he doesn't contribute towards looking after her so she's being raised in a single income household. What a f*cking bellend.

I'm terminally middle class, and I'd happily take my kids into a Wetherspoons for lunch unless it was very run down or a dodgy area.

Sorry your baby's father is a bellend. I tend to agree with PP about not going along on their contact time though.

He’s not half as middle-class as he thinks he is if he says things like: ‘Wetherspoons is for paupers’. It’s the gauche, aspirational nouveaux who betray themselves with that sort of comment . . . Pengggwyn’s comment is spot-on.

Echoing pp above - I am also as middle class as they come and I bloody love our local wetherspoons! No loud music, cheap but nice food and a kids menu that is - read online recently - one of the best (health-wise) for children.

He is being a giant knob. CMS his useless non-paying arse!

Pengggwyn has hit the nail on the head there.

Not too fussed on weatherspoons food and I do think some pubs are nicer than others, so maybe some of the folk saying it’s a dump have a point, but it’s not really relavent to your op.

Your ex is somewhat lacking in the self awareness department for saying what he did, but I don’t know why you are facilitating it by letting him play parent and not challenging over his lack of contribution. Give him a reality check through the CSM.

Sunshades
The child is 3 months old. Which attitudes do you think a 3 mo would be emotionally developed enough to perceive?

This all seems very odd to me lions. You really need to sort maintenance ASAP. Interestingly the first 3 words of your username spell ltb. I know you’re not together but this is at risk of becoming some kind of co dependant relationship, which he’s using to justify not paying you a penny. So ltb iyswim. The Wetherspoons thing is a red herring.

I don't go to Weatherspoons as the owner is fucking dubious IMO.

Why would you want to eat a meal with this tosser OP?

If he is working get onto the CSA or whatever its called these days and get them to sort out some proper money out of him for your and your baby.

Get to the CSA. He needs to start paying for his child! (Although the basic CSA amounts seem pitiful)

I go to wetherspoons every now and then! It’s awesome! Decent food at decent prices with clean toilets. I’m not a chav

@Mummyotlittledragon

I believe that children(and future adults) are the products of the attitudes and environments they're exposed to from birth. I simply don't want my DC seeing or gaining knowledge of the kinds of people who frequent Wetherspoons.

Irrespective of that, I happen to think that the 'food' they serve is some of the worst value to be found anywhere. Why would I go in and pay for an Iceland ready meal I could get from the shop for a tenth of the price?

Many, many local independent restaurants do far better food at cheaper prices.

You don't want them gaining knowledge of the type of people who frequent Wetherspoons.

Good luck with that aim.

Space shuttles to your personal planet that way, it's the only way you'll achieve it --->

There are Wetherspoons all over the country That makes no sense at all. They’re not all the same. Eg the Knights Templar on Chancery Lane is usually full of suits from all the barristers’ chambers, massive Deloitte offices, silver and diamond shops etc nearby.

SunShades, kindly advise of the names of the places you frequent for lunch in order that we can avoid them in order not to expose our children to your kind of attitude.

I don't actively seek them out or avoid them they are what they are. He's an idiot though and a cheap arse def get him paying what he should be.

@MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly

My attitude would be if he doesn't pay he doesn't see her.

I understand why people say this, I really do but I can’t help thinking of the child. She may only be a baby but she deserves a relationship with her daddy even if he is an irresponsible and snobbish prick

What I do agree with is that if your ex-DP doesn't want his DD to have to visit Wetherspoons(which I certainly don't blame him for), he needs to be providing help to enable her to live the better lifestyle he wants for her.

I'm as snobby as they come, but love a good 'spoons Full English I just avert my eyes from those having a pint with theirs at 9am.

However, your ex only gets to dictate when he is paying.

I disagree, he doesn't get to dictate even if he pays.

@MrsChollySawcutt

He's perfectly within his rights to say that his DD won't be going inside a Wetherspoons, especially if he's paying.

Why isn't he paying for his daughter OP?

spoons is great during the day with a baby... they let you refill your coffee for free as many times as you want and you can sit there and read your book till your baby wakes up and no one comes and tells you to move on (as they are never full during the day unlike coffee chains)

No, he really is not allowed to dictate to the OP. His wishes don't trump the OPs just because he is male.

Um weather spoons chips are the best thing ever😮he is bvu

Also he sounds like an arse

@Theweasleytwins

They're frozen McCain's chips you can buy in Iceland or Farmfoods

I’m with your husband on the eating in a taccy pub, but the real issue is your ExP being a waste of space.

I need to experience a weatherspoons!

My attitude would be if he doesn't pay he doesn't see her.

My dcs dad does not pay maintenance but he still sees them. Because he is their father and with or without money I think they are better off with him in their life.