To ask how you fit in exercise?

[drspouse]

I currently work 4 days and so does DH but he commutes quite a long way so I do most of the drop offs and pick ups. He does WFH sometimes but not on a regular day.
I cycle to work mostly on the day he's at home and I try to cycle with DD who currently goes to my workplace nursery but a) she's 4 and heavy and b) often I have too much to carry as her seat only allows one small pannier.
She's starting school in Sept but I'll still be doing at least 75% of the school runs.
I have a horrible hamstring pain at the moment so I want to do some yoga but leaving aside that many of the local classes close for the summer, they are all at 8 am (useless for school run) or 5 pm (ditto after school club).
I also really need to do some aerobic exercise - I do 10K steps most days with school run/errands/dashing to meetings at work but it's not helping me lose weight sadly.
So do share your secrets!
I'm happy doing gym classes but the machines leave me cold.
I'm in the kind of job where I have a meeting at 12, 1 and 2 one day but then can take a bit over an hour the next but it's not massively regular. Not sure I could fit in a full gym class plus shower at lunchtime regularly.
Weekends are quite full on (two DC, older awaiting SEN diagnosis, we try to both have a breather away from the DCs but we do have to schedule them, and us therefore, to help them both feel like they know what's happening).
Pre DCs I cycled more, but also went for a lot of long walks that they can't do. I also have annoying chest infections most winters!

You wouldn't need to get up that early every single day though so you would only be looking at a couple of early nights or indeed muddling through a couple of days with slightly less sleep. I get to bed around 10 to get up that early.

Ultimately though there is nothing wrong with accepting that you are doing the best you can right now to keep active and fit and that you will have time to do more as they get older. You are far from sedentary so you have a good base to build on when the time is right.

This is how I have fitted in exercise including when a single parent and having small DCs.

Running. You absolutely can have the DCs with you. They can either run with you (which I appreciate is not likely to lead to a nice rhythm and distance for you) or they can just be with you whilst you run (scooting or on bikes) Or you take them somewhere and run in big circles around them. For example they play on the swings and slides whilst you run laps round the play park. I’ve parked a baby under a tree in the park and run laps round and round many a time. You set up races for older kids. Relays. Sprints. Rolling down a hill races whilst you run up and down it 20 times and until you are beetroot in the face, Whatever.

Sports
Why can’t you play football/rounders/badminton/tennis with the kids? You know there is more running for the ball etc to retrieve it than actually playing, usually, so it gets your running up. You can take it seriously as exercise and they can play the game. When they get bored, run laps round them as above!

Long walks
Whilst I very much understand they aren’t as easy when you haven’t the DC, they are still possible. We pack at least two picnics and aim for a whole day walking, ending up somewhere for tea.

Classes with DC
There are classes you can take the DC to here, and there are still more that don’t involve them as such but where there are often some kids at the side with a screen of some type, perhaps that’s not ideal but it is done often and doable.

Dancing with DC
We have a disco light and have full on mad discos at home, I’m meaning 7k+ steps worth of dancing, and fun whilst you are at it.

I guess my best tip is to stop thinking about exercise and activities/caring for the DC as being separate things, and also suggest the mantra that every little helps - ten minutes of exercise three times a day is a good place to start, and often a much more doable target than getting out to a class.

Read that weight loss is 80% diet. I get loads of exercise but haven’t lost any weight as I haven’t changed what I eat!

I did it by identifying time slots in the week, incl weekends, used to do online classes but can now get out to group ones. Early morning jog or swim sometimes.

At the yoga classes I’ve been to you get virtually no guidance on whether you’re doing it “right” anyway!

Can I ask a genuine question? I'm not trying to be antagonistic, just trying to get an idea of your reasoning. What is it about exercise machines that don't work for you? Is it the boredom/monotony factor because I'm with you on that. That us why I suggested maybe doing it in front of the TV, that way your mind will be occupied and you won't be staring at the minutes tick by which I find arduous and more tiring?

If it's another reason then maybe there is a solution to that too? It just seems like it would be such a good option for you as you could be in the same room as your kids while they do their own thing, you could do it whenever you feel like without having to stick to a rigid class schedule. You don't have to factor in gym travel time etc and no one can see or judge you! I hope you find something that works for you.

I think and don’t take this wrong, you are unlikely to lose weight from upping your exercise. In order to lose weight you need consistency, motivation and time.

You seem to be time poor due to your current but temporary circumstances, motivation... well you did say any equipment would be expensive clothes hangers so you won’t have that drive to use it, also I’m concerned about consistency which really gets easier the more success you have.

As weight loss is 90% diet I would honestly just continue to focus on that and perhaps look up those 10 minute HITT body weight exercises you can do those in spare moments. 2-3 10 minutes session a day x3 a week would make a difference and you don’t need equipment.

I’m talking things like High knees, burpees, mountain climbers, squats, lunges with jumps etc all in quick succession.

Weight loss is about being realistic... I’ve only just achieved the body I want at size 8-10, I’m very very toned but I have been at it for the past 5 years, eating high protein low carb most of the time but not overly strict and getting up at 5:30 am to get to the gym... but then my lifestyle is very different to yours.

And yes exercise machines are very boring!

Daisy it is mainly the boredom and we have no room for one in front of the TV at home anyway.
They wouldn't do their own thing - they would want to be on the machine with me. A recipe for a trip to A&E I'm afraid!
Doing their own thing is not a concept my DCs are familiar with!

Chankly those are some nice ideas but as my DCs currently ride their bike/scooter at approximately my walking pace (they are 4 and 6, and one has motor coordination issues) I'm not going to get in a workout! It is quite handy for going to town without a fuss but only so I can walk at my normal walking pace! Like I say, I get in loads of walking, we are a very active family.

Neither will walk for more than half an hour, and that involves a lot of moaning. Actually, neither would scoot/ride for 20 minutes solid either.

I'm not sure what kind of classes you can take DC to? I used to go to a buggy workout when DD was tiny (DS was in nursery that day) and she was clamouring to get out! They wouldn't sit at the side, they would run all over the place, trip people up, and want my attention. DS has been asked to leave his dancing class due to being disruptive.

I think you may be assuming they are 8 or 10, and don't have SEN. Yes, when I was 10, I could ride a bike and my DM could have run and got some exercise; I could be taken on a long-ish walk. I really doubt I could have done it when I was 4 (I am pretty sure I couldn't ride a bike, either, when I was 4, though TBF we didn't have scooters then. Pretty sure my trike riding wouldn't have got my DM a workout either!). When I was 14 I was going on runs with my DM - I'm looking forward to being able to take them when they are older - but they are not old enough now.

I have said upthread that dancing is a good idea (again, doesn't last long with my DCs) but I have already said that's something we can do more of.

Oh sorry I forgot sports - yes we do go out with the ball/frisbee. Generally they'd rather play on the playground equipment but we do that and it's something we can do more of, especially if the weather's nice. I don't know any sport to teach them properly but we do play with balls etc.

PS - in the past, when I have stuck to my calorie limit on MFP, and done aerobic exercise, I have lost weight.
When I have only done one or the other, I haven't.
Fairly simple and I know which one's missing at the moment.
I'm not wanting to be a size 8, just shift a stone or so and move out of the overweight range. Not interested in being massively toned - just fit back into my skirts.

I struggled with fitting in exercise when in your circumstances and never found a solution.

The only times it was physically possible to fit it into the day (I went school drop off to work, to school pick up to looking after DC till bed time with only 30 minutes -if lucky - for lunch) were early mornings or after DC were in bed.

I couldn't do early mornings as was sleep deprived. I was far too tired by the time DC were in bed. Occasionally I'd force myself to do an exercise video at home. If DH got home early enough and I was not too frazzled I went running. I didn't particularly enjoy running but it was the only way I could get out and back in a short space of time. In the summer I occasionally took the DC to the park and jogged round the edge while they played.

I remember posting a similar thing at a similar stage and everyone telling me that of course it was possible, which might have been true in theory but I think when your DC are this age and you're trying to combine WOTH with minimal support, a particular type of exhaustion fits in.

The 30 day shred is very effective and you could easily fit that in to your day.

Thanks RedSky, that sounds about right!
I definitely wouldn't trust the DC to play in the playground while I jogged round the outside - maybe when they are a bit older though!
I don't actively dislike running and it's worth a try but it's not something I'm massively motivated to do. I think I'm a natural cross-trainer (plus it's an excuse for me to be bad at everything) - get bored of cycling before I'm up to a 20 mile run, bored of running before I get to 5k etc. etc.

Crisp I did that when DD was still napping but then she stopped napping and started trying to climb on me while I was doing it...

Can you do it once she’s in bed, or after your husband gets home then? I may have missed it already being suggested but what about swimming? Great for toning up.

How about a mini obstacle course in your garden that you can do with the kids? Jumping in and out of hoops, skipping on the spot, crawling through a polythene tunnel, carrying buckets of water etc. Surprisingly tiring yet you are all doing the same activity!

I’m not assuming their ages. My youngest DC is currently between your DCs ages. These are things that work for me. Moaning happens. Yes. But they can walk for over 20 minutes or we would never get anywhere at all. Including School (25 minute walk there and the first thing they do every day is run their daily mile) The worst moaning occurs between 30-90 minutes into a walk. Their Dad falls for that one and says they want to stop. I push them on past it and they come out the other side eventually. Then it’s just a matter of keeping on feeding them regularly and making sure we are always heading for some landmark or other to get them motivated. Even the youngest has made it up mountains. And feel very proud when they got there. Kids can start junior parkrun at 4 (2km runs). They are capable.

They scoot at your walking pace. No problem. Go to a place without roads and run up and down a long path as they scoot around. If they won’t do it for longer than 20 minutes, fine, you’ve been for a 20 minute run. And however long it took you to walk there.

Classes it depends on the class. But I’ve been to plenty - Zumba, family yoga, family fitness, martial arts, badminton, lots of church hall type activities where kids either join in, or do their own thing, or both. To find more casual and local events I suggest looking on your local villages and towns Facebook pages for events run on a rather more informal basis.

Sport - the simplest of Google searches will bring up some games you can teach them. It doesn’t have to be difficult.

I used to do classes, but time constraints made it difficult. Now I either do 35 minutes of weights/bodyweight exercises or 25 minute HIIT (loads of these on YouTube). If you really want to exercise, you will have to do what fits in - no point saying 'i only like classes but I can't do them'. You can't do classes - so do something else. Sorry 😘

Most home treadmills can be folded and you can get a good one for £200 on eBay...cheaper than going gym over a period of time. Can also get a stepper on Amazon for £40 which is awesome for butt toning and legs. A twister board from sports direct for under a tenner. Ankle/wrist weights which you can wear around the house also for under a tenner
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Reality is waking up at 5.30am or leaving the house for the gym will require a lot of will power, you might be able to do it for the 1st 2weeks but can easily fall back into old routine if you have a hectic schedule like yours. Youll find yourself only going when you have big events coming up. This is reality, the amount of people paying direct debits for gyms they never go to is a lot.

I've started to get up early and go in the morning before work.

I do some exercise that won't work for you (like running at 8pm and home yoga on amazon)

But I also do mini circuits at home, Lots of inspiration on pinterest and instagram (diaryofafitmommy shares a lot). Yes my 2 year old jumps all over me and runs between my legs when I am doing squats but I just keep going and try to encourage her to do some with me. She doesn't really leave me alone so I just try to make fun out of it.

Crisp I do like swimming and would like to go more... once the DC are in bed, it's at least 8pm - the public pool closes before that shockingly! I looked into that when the DC were much smaller (and happily would go to bed quietly). At that point, I took up running, going out at about 7 once DH got home but bedtime was more of a one man job then, and finished earlier so if it was going badly I could wait till it was over. Ah the halcyon days of babies that liked to sleep... It would be a lot easier, though, to go to the pool flexibly on the odd day when DH is WFH, though, it's true (if DH WFH and the pool open past 6 coincide, I could nip out once the kids are picked up, if I'm properly "away" from the house for a bit longer they will settle into bedtime with just DH). So that's a good one to put into the mix. It's not like the exercise classes where it's a secret when/where they are happening/you have to go every week for 10 weeks.

Chankly you haven't factored in a) running away/scooting away/hiding or b) lying down on the ground refusing to go further unless carried. Specialties of a) DS and b) DD.
Our current solution to a) is only go out with DS if there are 2 adults or just 1 child or if the other adult is on call and to b) is stop and wait for her to get bored but neither of those really leads to much exercise getting done.

Ah those who say the gym membership/getting up at 5.30/having a treadmill at home is often a fad that won't carry on... how right you are.
Again, I know myself, and if it isn't reasonably easy to do - it's not going to happen.
I'm not even going to bother trying to get up at 5.30 but I know myself well enough to know that going out at 6.30 is unlikely to continue into the winter either.

Oh and Chankly I can PM you my postcode but I have never seen any classes at all local to me that are proper exercise classes for adults, that are suitable for a 4yo and a 6yo that won't take part, and are jealous of any attention that Mummy gives to anything or anyone else.

I could take them to martial arts, but the ones here are for children to do and adults watch - not sure what you mean by that. Badminton for a 4 year old??! There's baby yoga? Where you swing the baby up and down? not what you're thinking either I suspect!

I work 55 hours a week (self employed) and have four dc, but I love (NEED!) my exercise and do six classes a week, most around 7pm for an hour then one fit an hour on Sunday. These times fit around my DH work. Is there nowhere near you with more flexible times? (Sorry I skimmed so you may have covered this)

OK so in summary I've got ticks! to: swimming in the evening if DH is WFH, yoga for 10 mins at least to start with once the kids are in bed (or early if I can get up!), not worrying about getting it right!, maybe running in the evening? though I am worried about going out/coming back while the DC are still awake as that's usually a disaster.
Maybe trying an exercise class in the evening on an irregular basis if DH is WFH also. I just wish they were a tiny bit later (even 7pm would be more possible than 6.30/6pm).
Finding a class for my day off when DD starts school.

And I can do more of dancing around with the DCs/playing with balls in the park (we don't have much of a garden)/walking around at lunchtime.

I've been to exercise classes where there are children watching from their play areas or actually running between the rebounders or on some of the rebounders with their parents! That and anti-gravity yoga hammocks.

One franchise organisation seem to be in a number of places and pride themselves on being child-friendly tho' actual facilities must vary from one place to another: Bounce FAQ

Rebounding or aerial isn't everyone's cup of tea but I wouldn't be surprised if similar child-friendly facilities are available for other disciplines.