To think 6 weeks will be hard to fill

[trees4thewood]

I am a teacher, it’s good to have the time off but to be honest I’m dreading it a bit, I remember getting really badly depressed a few summers ago and I can see this one being similar.

what should I do

I've been there too OP. I am an architect but after leaving am abusive marriage several years ago, the only job I could get was as a TA for art in a private school and then as an art teacher (yes it was that shit but never mind). I lived alone and was short of money and hated the holidays. All,of my colleagues were either parents desperate for time off with their children or young people with partners or huge friendship groups all in teaching who went for long summers abroad together. I went back to a bedsit and that was it for 8 weeks.
Well meaning people said volunteer, but I was recovering from a violent, abusive marriage and just couldn't give anything of myself in that way. I had no friends and apart from a week or so with ,y father (who lived in France at the time) I had nothing to do, no where to go any no one to do it with and no money anyway.
I contemplated suicide at various points, but the thought of leaving my dad stopped me.
It hard, long and lonely. I have no suggestions. For me volunteering was not an option, but I was able to get a job back in my field and so threw myself into working all the time and that eased the pain. I take holidays now because, miraculously I met an amazing man who became my partner and we have a dog who is the other centre of my universe, and my dad is back in the country too. I have friends too, people who understand and put up with me.
But it could have easily been very different.
I wish I could give you some constructive advice, but I can't and reading some of the replies here I know that I would not have been able to do the suggestions because it takes too much energy sometimes to make that effort, or too much money, or having to speak to people when you have no energy and just want to hide from the world and have someone who loves you hold you tightly and tell you it's ok.

I have a teacher friend and they are going to Africa for two weeks volunteering in a school there. She fundraised during the year and will bring supplies with her. She is going as a single person and will meet up with a group of other teachers when she gets there. Would this be an option for you for next summer?
Volunteering is always a great way to meet new people. I did some while on maternity leave and I really enjoyed it. Met some lovely people and we met for coffee a few times after.
Do you run? You could join a running club. Someone up thread mentioned dog walking. When I moved to a new area I met some people while out walking my dog. Or better still I would recommend getting your own dog they are fantastic company. You could foster a dog from a rescue for a few weeks and see what it is like.
Loneliness is tough. What would you tell a student to do if they were dreading the holidays? Be kind to yourself and practise some self care.
Make a list of things that you would like to do - read books, watch some box sets or series on Netflix. The six weeks will fly - best of luck.

If I had six weeks to fill and no children, I'd have a totally self indulgent time...I'd....

Make my home immaculate...maybe paint a room, sort through drawers, wardrobes, have a big clear out.

Have time to eat really healthy delicious food...maybe do some batch cooking and baking.

Go to the gym everyday and do an exercise class

Read

Lay in the park on a hot day with a stack of magazines and a picnic

Go shopping and update my wardrobe

I'm so jealous of you!

Yes, it’s a name change Maisy.

Because I’m embarrassed.

I can tell you exactly who I am, where I work ... but you know.

Honestly former if you saw me and saw wheee I loved you wouldn’t be jealous!

Op I have done the unpardonable and not read the thread so I apologise.

I see all your points and again I was crass glib and I apologise.

I will pm you x

Audit thank you so much for getting it, thank you.

As many posters have pointed out the 6 weeks holiday is a red herring - it’s a shame so many unsympathetic people have bitten at this part of the post.

The real issue is loneliness. Many posters have already given you lots of ideas for putting yourself out there. Your replies suggest a reluctance to do so which is understandable given your history of depression and (I’m being presumptive) anxiety. I have a family friend, who due to traumatic life experience, withdrew and found herself in a long, long cycle of depression and loneliness. We tried to help and provide advice but ultimately she was the only one who could pull herself out of that negative cycle. Over the past year, she’s transformed. she’s seeing a councillor, taken up exercise, socialising more and even went to Africa with tour group of people she’d never met before - that would have been unthinkable before. She is the happiest I have know now her to be in a long time. It had to come from her being brave and taking some steps to change - we couldn’t do it for her!

Putting yourself out there can be really tough and scary, I really get that, but, forcing yourself out of your comfort zone into making more human connections could have such a wonderful impact on you life.

I echo what everyone else has said about creating some sort of routine that you can stick to. I love the 6 weeks off but I start to go a bit doolally towards the end if I’m not careful.

Sea that was really gracious. Thanks.

I like to think that I’d do all these fantastic things if I had a few weeks spare time but I’d probably just binge watch Netflix then be annoyed with myself for not doing anything productive.

Why try and fill it? It's a break, so have a break! Just chill out, see where each day takes you. Maybe book a night/few nights away somewhere you'd never thought of going before. If I had 6 weeks to myself I'd be in my glory

Hello lovely, I'm a teacher and I've felt exactly the same before now. Our job is so intense that when the holidays come I'm normally ill straight away. 6 weeks can de daunting but you know how fast a half term goes by in term time and holidays will be gone before you know it.

The best advice I had was to always learn a new skill each holiday. I started hoolahooping at home and used YouTube to learn new tricks. I also learned to crochet and each holidays made a cushion or hat or blanket, again I used YouTube to learn.

My other piece of advice is to ignore any nasty people on the thread. I love my job which is why holidays can be tough. Rest, recoup and read. 💛💚❤️💙💛💚❤️💙💛💚❤️💙

Apologies for the skepticism. It seemed the right sort of time for a holiday thread.

Join a 'free days out in' facebook group to find things to do.
Find a shoet course to do.
Join a yoga or pilates class as they often run in 6 week blocls
Get lost in a book
Find a volunteering opportunity
If you can afford to, join a travel group on a trip

Haven't you got all that school work to be doing in the holidays? I thought all teachers had to work in the holidays. That will keep you busy OP

I have almost seven weeks - three down already. We’re not going away as DP has just started a new job, no DC, and I have spent my days:

Long walks round my local park - I use a Fitbit to count steps - and sometimes coffee in the cafe
Cinema on my own in the afternoon
Meeting friends for lunch/tea/coffee
Coffee/cake on my own with a book, wander round the shops
Household chores I’ve been putting off
Routine appointments - dentist, hairdresser, prescription review
Reading, watching trashy morning telly in my pyjamas (Homes Under the Hammer etc), long baths, sitting out in the garden with the cat
Doing all the cooking/housework that we usually split so DP gets a break
Catching up on TV that I’ve recorded but not got round to watching

I do need to do some work, but just can’t bear to quite yet. I have been bookmarking articles, and emailing myself lists though.

BlitheringIdiots
There's some, yes. But not 6 weeks of full time work (unsurprisingly)

I'm not a teacher and I have 2 DCs so not in the same boat but I do understand where you're coming from OP. I work part time and have been on mat leave over the summer holidays once already. (This one will be my second and final!)
Friends and family will be working, any holidays/ days out/ local attractions will be heaving, it'll be hot and miserable to stand in queues, all the structure you're used to is out the window for 6 weeks. So just as you're getting used to filling your time and being ok with it you're due back at school. You can't have the odd day off to go shopping or to a museum in term time when it's quiet. Or a cheap week away for just you. It's lonely. I think people who can't understand that have too much money/ time/ work/ friends/ family on their hands and not enough empathy to see how soul destroying it could be. You're technically paid yes, but you have no choice or say in the matter! You could read books or watch Netflix or do up your house but if you're single and have no children you could do those things any night/ weekend! No advice but sympathy for your situation

auditqueen - huge hugs but so glad you are happier now.

Op - your only mistake with thia poat was to mention you were a teacher,how different this post would have been if you hadn't.

Op- you sound so low and already exhausted with the thinking and worrying. How old are you? What do you want from your life beyond your work? Sometime the end of the tunnel is too far so we have to break it down into small journeys. How you feel juat now doesn't have to be how you feel in a month or a year you can change your direction.

Think of this as a lesson plan and imagine you are explaining to the lonely, friendless child who is in tears with you, how can they make positive choices to change direction? How can they (you) make these changes without a friend or aupport member bwhind them, where do they get the energy and the bravery to do this?

Make this the summer you start to work towards your goals in life away from work. Make a list of all the suggestions made today choose two to try organising tomorrow. You can do this and there are so many people who do care and who will aupport you on your journey 🤝

if you struggle with depression you need a bit of structure to avoid sinking into a pit of not getting dressed

This!

People are still missing the point by saying how jealous they are.

Anyway, when I was teaching and lonely, I spent a lot of time on the tes forums (do they still exist?) It turns out there are a lot of lonely teachers out there. I made friends through the forums and met up with them.

Years later I now have a partner and children and lots of friends but it wasn't easy to get here and I did have to put myself out there quite a bit.

It looks like you're up for the idea of food bank volunteering; i hope it leads to something positive for you.

Tutor at a summer school inter-rail for the rest - god the freedom!

I inagine your current feelings are more to do with the depression than anything else. Can you try to have one focus each day? And alternate, so one day you go out (say, to a museum or a film or a park), the next day you do something useful (declutter a cupboard, do some planning or DIY), the following day you meet a friend or relative, the next day you read a novel or binge watch a box set. Try to leave the house every day, even if just for a walk or to pop to the shops. And maybe book another holiday for later in the summer if you can afford it. Also, if you suffer generally with depression, start to take steps to sort it out - go to see your GP or book some therapy. Don't put yourself under pressure to achieve anything amazing if big projects seem overwhelming.

Sorry - didn't realise I'd written so much without paragraphs! Also, I'm a teacher and I've experienced depression, so PM me if you would like to.

Then I realised you are a child-free adult and laughed.

I'm not in your situation, but I can understand where you're coming from and loneliness fucking sucks! I hate that feeling that everyone else is having a great time, rationally I know it's not true and comparison is the theif of joy, blah blah but it doesn't help in the slightest when you have little else to think of. I'm so much better when I stick to a routine, so I vote to get dressed and maybe out for a walk by a certain set time for at least 5 days a week. Vary where you go, keep yourself interested. If you have any animal shelters near you then they tend to accept last minute volunteers pretty readily. You could also put an advert out locally for any house sitting/pet walking etc. Food banks and charity shops are also a good bet. There may also be local homelessness charities that always need hands on deck. There may be some exciting opportunities on here: www.workaway.info/lastminute-volunteering.html

Sorry it's a bit daunting, this could be the summer that changes everything though, it doesn't have to be a drag :) xx

I think the main problem is that many of the people on here have children and so do not understand the absolutely crushing loneliness of always being the person on their own. How difficult it is to do things like go to NT properties, to cafes and restaurants completely alone. Parents may think they understand loneliness, but they don't, not really because they have their children and even if they aren't optimal company, they are company and a reason to get up in the morning,go out and do something.

I really hate this idea that single childless people should do voluntary work. Sometimes it's great, but other times it's not good for our mental health and is yet more people taking from us more than we can give (because we aren't getting anything ourselves), but often we aren't in a good and secure place to help others. Interestingly it is only since my life has improved and I have support that I feel strong enough to do voluntary work with teenagers from a deprived background. I'm also a school governor. A decade ago when I was at my loneliest and neediest I couldn't do that.