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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be upset if your DH forgot your birthday?

63 replies

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 30/05/2007 09:52

Because I am, and I am annoyed at myself for getting upset. I wish I could just shrug it off, but it has made me feel unappreciated.

OP posts:
KatieMorag · 30/05/2007 09:53

Yes I would be upset!!

Hulababy · 30/05/2007 09:54

Very upset. No way would I be ale to just shrug it off or accept it was one of those things.

Is it your birthday? If so, happy birthday.

VerySensibleKbear · 30/05/2007 09:54

Upset? - I'd think he was a rude pig who can't remember the most basic of events and would forget to cook his dinner for the next lifetime. I don't expect lavish gifts and bouquets but "Happy Birthday Darling" is a requisite.

kittylette · 30/05/2007 09:54

I remind him 20 time withing the month before, and so does my mum!

I would be annoyed yes!

why didnt you say 'its my birthday next week, are we doing anything nice?'

just to remind him, i know you shouldn't have to really, but men do tend to forget!

gonnaneedabiggerboat · 30/05/2007 09:54

Dh would never dare forget my birthday as he knows just how much trouble he would be in!!

You are not being unreasonable at all. Of course some people may come on here and disagree with me and say its only another day, but the fact is that it is obvioulsy important to you and that is what matters.

I hope that he makes it up to you in a very big way.

Happy Birthday by the way - at least your day can only get better

VerySensibleKbear · 30/05/2007 09:54

And Happy Birthday from us!

Heathcliffscathy · 30/05/2007 09:55

yes

are you sure he has??? the day is young...

it really doesn't mean he doesn't love and appreciate you though...

francagoestohollywood · 30/05/2007 09:56

I'm not sure I'd be. I'm not very moved by anniversaries, mother's days etc either. But there are other things that make me upset and feel unappreciated. you are not being unreasonable.

TheApprentice · 30/05/2007 09:58

Happy Birthday Horsewoman!

There's no way my dh would be able to forget my birthday because I always remind him. eg, "Where shall we go out for dinner on my birthday next week?" etc. I'm sure he cares, but you know what men can be like...

Hope he makes it up to you bigtime!

MaMonkey · 30/05/2007 10:00

I would be. Despite the fact my husband comes from a family or birthday forgetters.

His mum can't remember his birthday! I find that astonishing.

brimfull · 30/05/2007 10:02

happy birthday

and yes I would be extremely pissed off

he may be planning a big surprise though

Tinker · 30/05/2007 10:03

I would be but I also realise it's not important, really. But I proabably wouldn't be able to convey that.

KerryMum · 30/05/2007 10:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blackduck · 30/05/2007 10:04

YES! Birthdays are YOUR special day IMO, and so to have someone 'forget' is unforgivable.....

hana · 30/05/2007 10:06

yes

meowmix · 30/05/2007 10:07

nope. Gave up a long time ago on that because he forgets birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, mothers days but makes up for it at Christmas.

But if he usually remembers then yes I'd be pretty upset and would have said something pointed by now.

Sixer · 30/05/2007 10:08

Happy Birthday.
Any chance you can call him at work, ask if he has any plans for today/this evening? if not book yourself in for a right ole pamper sesson, facial, massage the works. then maybe drinks with some friends.
Whatever you decide have a lovely day.

meowmix · 30/05/2007 10:08

oh and Happy Birthday. You don't look a minute older.

glamourbadger · 30/05/2007 10:15

Happy Birthday for yesterday Horsewoman! Go and use his credit card to buy yourself something nice .

yaddayah · 30/05/2007 10:19

Upset.. errrr yes just a bit x a zillion

Wishing you a very happy birthday

I'm sure he'll be appalled he's forgotten

VioletBaudelaire · 30/05/2007 10:27

Happy birthday!
It might be a double bluff - watch out for couriers or ribbon-wrapped vehicles heading your way.

purpleduck · 30/05/2007 10:40

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I would be very hurt and furious. Has he ever forgotten before?

Furrymummy · 30/05/2007 10:43

Happy Birthday to you
Your DH is a Poo
He had better
Have a (grovelling) letter
And a big present too.

Git!!!!

Carmenere · 30/05/2007 10:44

I'd kill him.

Original poster
GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 30/05/2007 11:22

No, he definitely forgot.

I hadn't mentioned anything because that defeats the object - I don't want to crow "It's my birthday! It's my birthday!" Because then it only matters to him because I told him it matters. I am annoyed at myself because he constantly disappoints me, breaking promises and blowing me out in favour of work, and it caught me by surprise that this upset me. He only noticed because he was standing behind me at the computer when I logged on to the online admin and a banner came along the top saying 'Happy Birthday'. He stood there and said "whose birthday is it?" It took him a while to twig....

The main disappointment comes from the fact that if I didn't do something really special for his birthday or buy him a great present he would sulk like a 2 year old. He didn't even remember mine!

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