To think it’s a bad sign when people suddenly start messaging less?

[AisleWindowSeats]

Had first date with someone, he asked me out again same night and we had a bit of chat after saying how much had both enjoyed it. He sent last message, ended on a statement.

He had promised to send me some recommendations for somewhere and messaged again a couple of days later with them. I replied back thanking him and restarted the convo, answered his questions etc. Nothing since :s This was all yesterday afternoon...

Before the date, we’d been texting a fair amount to establish a connection...

I don’t think some people get it - I actually think it’s a bit odd of him.

We had our date, texted and I left it! Left him to sort second date. He had asked me out again for a certain day but no concrete arrangements date. To repeat that again, I left it! He texted last albeit on a statement.

A few days later he reached out again which I took to mean he was interested and so I replied nicely asking a question.

I know it’s only a bloody text but it’s weird and game playing to do this if you have no intention of ever following up. I was giving him lots of get out clauses (no need to suggest second date, no need to text twice in a row) and I feel like now I’ve taken it at face value and replied kindly... nothing

I really don’t care, I’m a veteran, I’m just annoyed tbh at the situation! I don’t want to be texting all the time! I just would never leave someone on read for 48 hours... especially after having behaved in a very interested way and reached out to them first etc

so I replied nicely asking a question.
Am I right in thinking he never replied to this question?

Yes

Was in response to his question

Everyone has time to send a message though

I HATE that yet I see it so regularly. Newsflash - there is no law that says you must respond to a message immediately upon reading it. Phones are supposed to help our lives not bloody governing them. Yesterday I spent seven hours with a friend who is going through a hideous time and then had five minutes after she left to freshen up and go to a meeting about an event I am involved in next month. I may just have had time to check a message or two in those five minutes but unless it was an emergency I would not reply until a suitable time, which would probably not have been when I got in at 11.30 but sometime this morning.

I'm only 44 but I do wonder how the fuck we all coped dating in the days when we couldn't text or message and could only ring up. Especially if you didn't even have a phone at home and had to use a call box!

I get it OP.

My sister had a date a few days ago via OLD and at the end of the date they’d already planned their second date which involved confirming the day, time and place. He’s also continued to text her frequently since their date.

You’re in the situation now where he asked for a second date but didn’t actually confirm anything and has now disappeared.

Actions speak louder than words.

Anyway can say, “Let’s meet up again...” etc but that doesn’t mean they have any intention of doing it.

If he genuinely liked you and wanted to see you again then he would be making it happen.

He’s gone from texting you a lot, every day, to now making no effort to contact you.

Unless he’s unconscious in a hospital then I’m not sure what other reason there could be for his silence?

It takes 30 seconds to send a text message and not matter what anybody said, if someone really liked another person they’d find 30 seconds out of their day to be in touch with them.

I’m pretty sure he sits down on the toilet at least once a day so nothing stopping him from sending a text then

I just don’t understand why you’d give someone signals, go to effort of freeing up a day for next date, message them when you didn’t need to - and then go silent

He might think he replied when he didn't have time. There's so much over-thinking here. What was your question? If it wasn't about the date, can you just follow up e.g. "Just making plans for the weekend, are we still on for Friday night?".

As Nettletheelf suggests, if you only want those skilled at dating then they might not be good men to actually be with; they're just good at getting what they want from dates! Real men have other things going on in their lives and might just be busy. Or, maybe he's met someone he gets on better with, or decided he isn't that keen - in which case he'll let you know and you don't need to fret about it any more.

If you like him I would do what Excited said. He might be thinking you have a date booked so he can catch up with you then. Message and just say what Excited said. If he's at all hesitant or doesn't reply then move on.

Just call him or move on

HJNTIY. How annoying.
All these references to “double texting” and “leaving someone on read” are a bit overthinky though.

That’s excellent because IJNTIH either 😂

Lots of posters have told you why they might not reply / text someone.

Any sign of him yet??

Yep, he sent a looong message with lots of questions late mon apologising for delay. I replied earlier today arvo. Nothing back yet...

When were you supposed to have your 2nd date?
Does he maybe have kids it was his turn to have this weekend or something?

No kids, both single. Second date was supposed to be today! Have made other plans though as no concrete arrangements. Not sure whether to continue if he does message again or just to leave it here...

Ok so he arranged a 2nd date for today and hasn't followed through? I'd call it a day then. Don't tell him that, just mentally move on. He may not even notice.

That’s the plan. I don’t think this really justifies a second chance either :s

I'd block and delete and move on. He's shown you who he is and isn't worth your time or attention. Next!

Mine messaged me out of the blue last night. I've ignored it so far.

He's hedging his bets, dating a few women at once, liked you but maybe holding out for somebody else.

Don't put all your eggs in the dating basket at once- you date more than one man too!

I'm not intending to date him again. If someone is still holding out for someone else they're obviously not that into me and I want to be with someone who can't wait to see me, not someone who cba.