To expect my child to study during the summer holidays?!

[accepting]

Well he is very far behind at school. In the lower sets in english & maths.

He does have a very "not bothered" attitude towards his school work. His concentration levels is overall very poor and he does come across (to others) as a lazy and cheeky child.

I just don't want him to have that kind of reputation at school and i would hate for him to continue like this all the way through his school years!

So now we are in a battle at home to get him to do some extra work during the summer break...aibu or should i let it go? He absolutely isnt having this and calls it torture

My kid is 6 (7 in September). Just finished primary 2 and going into primary 3. I give him homework over the summer.

He reads a book a week by himself, does a few maths worksheets and a few English worksheets and some creative writing. I did the same when he finished primary 1. But for us, it’s just part of our routine, we make it fun and his little brother is starting primary 1 in August so has been joining in more and more.

There’s nothing wrong with encouraging them to work, but it’s very hard to suddenly force it on him in a strict way. It’s best to try and make it fun and natural.

Can you think of any activities to do? I bought the kids a whole load of Pokemon balls with wee Pokemon inside, and hid them all over the house. To find the Pokemon, they needed to complete a riddle to find the area and then complete a worksheet or challenge to get the door/cupboard open or to get behind the books on the bookcases (or wherever the things were hidden). An example... I hid 2 at the end of the utility room and then covered the floor in taped down A5 paper with a number on each. They then had to answer several sums, and jump onto the correct number, until they each got to the end and the Pokemon were found. Can you do anything like that to make it fun?

Once children can read parents sometimes stop reading to them - if you aren't reading to your child (I don't mean listening to them read) then it might be a perfect time to get back into this habit. This can be a very informal way of learning together. General books are a gateway to all sorts to all sorts of interesting information. Not just picking up English by reading but science, geography, history, popular culture etc. Put subtitles on all tv shows/dvds.

Maths: give him some pocket money and let him spend it. I'd go for a few smaller amounts through the week that he can add up and save. If he wants something that costs £12 say you'll give him £2.50 every couple of days. How's long will it take to save enough? How much change would he get?

How many hours is it until you go and do something. When will it be half way to that time? How long does it take to get somewhere you go regularly? (stopwatch) If you go again was it quicker or slower? By how much? Could he work out the acaerge time it's taken to get there?

How many weeks are there left of the holidays? So how many days is that? How many hours is that? How many minutes? How many seconds? (Calculator & calendar is fine for this)

If he's hating 'learning' sitting down at a table then make it part of every day stuff. Going on a long journey? Count things like lorries and tractors, cement mixers, car transporters. What do you see most of? If he's already fighting it at school then he won't want to sit down at a table and do it. But doing little bits as part of day to day will help get his maths brain moving and building connections so that when he next sits down to do stuff it will be easier

Get some times tables posters and stick them up somewhere. As they get into KS3 knowing their times tables off by heart makes everything so much easier.

As the mum of an intelligent dyslexic dc I wonder if your Ds could be dyslexic and just coasting through school, my dd became very good at blending in in the lower groups but verbally was beyond her years, it became more noticeable when she was about your Ds age.

She's 15 and should be sitting her exams this year but the Scottish system is different and she won't sit many currently she will definitely sit one!!

I am not making her do extra work during the holidays, her brain works different to academic children, it's a waste of time and energy pressurising her to sit and learn, you might have to try and figure out how to engage your son in learning that's not sitting with his head in a book!

In contrast I have a 13ds who is extremely academic and quite happy to download and print out extra work to do without prompting

If he lacks motivation and distracts others, it could be that he is masking the fact that he finds lessons so difficult. It’s a type of cover up and perhaps he’d rather be known as the one who messes about, rather than the one who can’t do lessons.

Imagine having to spend every day having to do stuff you find hard. I expect most of us would opt out. Is he having any help at school? Perhaps that’s something to investigate next term. In the meantime, reading to him, taking him to interesting museum type places and doing incidental learning, will make it seem much less of a chore. You’ll be less stressed and he’ll be less resentful.

If he doesn’t enjoy reading a ‘proper book’ might he enjoy Match of the Day magazine if he likes football or the Beano comic. It’s still reading even though to him it might look less arduous.
There are also many board games or even apps that can be dressed as fun but actually have an educational undertone? Good luck.

Another vote here for considering adhd

Id massively second what other people have said. Encouraging him to find something he enjoys reading, if there's anything technical (programming?) he's into encourage that and otherwise just try to boost his confidence and let him relax.

I’d get him assessed by a paediatrician or an educational psychologist tbh. Look to see if he has any of the dys’ (dyspraxia, dyscalculia and dyslexia) as well as adhd and other Sen tbh.

I’d get him comics to help with reading or graphic novels.

We are a family of teachers and cannot get our son to do work with us ! Try gp's or uncles etc? We send our son to a tutor centre as he is so far behind at school. one to one tutoring is better but more expensive. We boost our kids talents ( sport) and make a big fuss of that. He needs fun relaxation and positive relationship with you. Find him a tutor to boost his confidence. May be for last few weeks before he goes back.
Find a why to make learning fun ( books on topics he's in to)
Not everyone is academic maybe he's musical there are lots of workshops for young people over the holidays.
Basically just chill and enjoy your child.

DD is going into Y5 and has a small timetable of daily activities with rewards, but it's up to her if she wants to do them, I won't be nagging her. I think it's good to get her into the habit of having some school work to do in the holidays but there's no need to pressure her at age 9. We'll obviously still go out and do stuff but she's got some great reward options if she wants to earn them.

My DCs year who are just going into yr 9 &11 will absolutely be doing stuff during then holidays! No study no play! They want lifts/cash/friends round then they'll put a bit of work in first - it's non-negotiable

DC going into yr5 will be doing handwriting paractice, along with spellings and timetables

Great advice in here but I would back off as the battle and conflict is not worth it.
Find subtle ways to incorporate in your holidays but make it fun. Remember school is hard and our little ones need a break. Physical and mental so holidays need to be holidays
I have similar age child and would urge the same battle trying to do this in the holidays

My daughter is 10 she won't be studying we do stuff with her like pearls suggests, it works.

What Thesearepearls said on P1 and others have added to.
Don't make him do "schoolwork" in the holidays. If he is in bottom sets, I'm guessing he doesn't enjoy that type of thing (few of us do) and he will just resent you and come to hate it even more, If he is angry and upset he isn't going to learn anyway.
Find ways to spark interest in the world, and the learning will stem from that.

Maybe your child needs a break, to relax and he won't enjoy school if he is too pressured. Done kids are just not academic

Try Yahtzee for mental arithmetic, my brother and I would spend hours playing with GPs from the age of about 7 until we were teens.

He’s only 10 give him a break! I’m sure he can learn the important skill of memorising facts for exams in a few years

You're not unreasonable to hope he will do some school work during the holidays but unrealistic to expect it.

Trying to make the work fun often helps, especially if he has a friend who will do it with him.

So because a child is independent and has personality and doesn’t want to be a robot, sit still, shut up, do as your told he must have adhd?!

Lots of local libraries run the summer reading challenge over the holidays - have you a library close enough to get him involved? Better still, one close enough for him to go on his own/with friends or siblings or cousins (or whoever) so it's a real draw in terms of independence.

Is your DS a Cub/Scout (I know they move up aged 10.5 not 11 now, because why make things simple )? If he is there are various interest badges he could work on to develop his skills & knowledge.

Lots of PPs have given great advice - I hope that you & your DS are able to have a fun & productive summer: low-stress, but with him getting the chance to learn in a non-pressured non-"schooly" way & thus (hopefully) building his confidence ahead of next year.

Don't make him to school work - I teach and the kids are exhausted at the end of the year - school is so busy for them.

If you want to do anything perhaps find some good, funny books in the library that he can enjoy either on his own or with you - there are some brilliant books for kids now.

Play games involving maths e.g. suduko, do some cooking so that he can get used to weighing and measuring - try halving or doubling the recipes. Get him to help you with the shopping - bursting, working out the best deal in the shops.

Most of all - let him relax over summer . Not everyone can be academic and if he struggles at school it will be harder for him so the downtime is even more important.