Confused on when to leave children alone

[LovelyBath77]

My friend and I have children the same age (9 and 13) I was a little as she mentioned how nice it was now her and her DH could go out for dinner and leave them home alone, and also how the childrenw would walk together into the town to the shops etc.

I wondered if maybe I was being a little anxious. My eldest goes off to school on the bus, into town etc but not the youngest. So I checked online and it said this www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone which seems to say under 12s shouldn't be left for long.

I would leave mine bother together to pop out to the shop for example but not for long. Any ideas on this and what you do around this age? Am I just being a but U?

Think it really depends on the children. I babysat my 18 month old cousin for the day once, aged 9. Technically we were both being babysat by my 16 yr old brother, but he buggered off out. In that instance the 9yr old had far more sense than the older child. Although I've still not quite got over the all-in wrestling match that was a particularly shitty nappy not envy
Have been leaving my dtds for increasingly longer periods since they were about 11, more of an issue for me than them - so far!

I don't think it is 13 to babysit...www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/8309418/Who-says-a-14-year-old-is-too-young-to-babysit.html

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/8309418/Who-says-a-14-year-old-is-too-young-to-babysit.html

sorry

My dc has been left for inset days since age 9, so 8-5 ish. I don't tend to do more than an hour or so in the evening, although an out this week and she doesn't want a sitter so will be alone 7 -11ish.

I’ve left my kids home alone younger than that. I think the ages recommended by authorities are a bit ridiculous.
When I considered leaving my kids home alone I thought what myself or my parents were allowed and able to do at that age - it helps put things in perspective.
I started letting them around 7 yo for around 30 min; at 8 they could stay several hours; at 9 they roam the neighbourhood with friends; at 12 ds could take the bus to school.

It depends on the kids but if they know how to call you in an emergency and not to open the door to strangers, leave the gas on etc then a 13yo and 9yo could definately be left alone at home for a few hours in my book. I was getting home at 12 and making the family meal - but my scatterbrained brother would not have been trusted with the same at 12.

My DS will be turning 9 in September. I plan to start him walking home from school alone.

The walk home takes him about 20 minutes from being dismissed by the teacher. It's all part of my strong belief in developing age-appropriate independence throughout a child's childhood. That's 20 minutes without anyone directly looking after him. So being with a teenage sibling is much less of a problem you me.

Says here they should be 16 to babysit

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/home-alone/

So what I said earlier about 16 and 12 makes sense really.

I have only one child of 10. I agree with you and only leave dd for short spells. She and her friend cycled to a club a couple of weeks ago together. Dh followed them at a distance to check they got there safely and check on their cycling.

I thought the guidelines state children of 12 and under are best not left alone in the evening. That said, your eldest could babysit at this age - although I wouldn’t have a 13 yo baby sitter - so I suppose it’s a judgment call.

I would have thought by 10 and 14 and definitely 11 and 15 depending how mature your children are at that stage you could leave them for a couple of hours in the evening.

Cross post. I didn’t know the law had changed.

depends on the children.
I was left alone for a few hours here and there at 9. But I was an only child and quite sedate... I just used to read or watch films I was never going to get in any bother.
I think it totally depends on the nature of the children. 13 I would expect most children to be capable of being on their own in the house for a couple of hours.... for a 9 year old it would really depend on the child. To leave them together it would also depend on how well they got on... you wouldnt want to come back to world war 3!!

It’s what you personally feel comfortable with
I have a very sensible 13 year old dd and a slightly less sensible but does whatever his sister says 9 year old. I am happy to go out for a hour or so but not out for the evening.
I think it largely depends on where they could get help, we have great neighbours who the dc know well so they could go to any of the other houses in our cul de sac in an emergency

I leave my 9 and 14 year old but not normally for more than 2 hours or if they are a bit fighty

Personally, I think you would be massively overprotective thinking that the younger one can't be left with the older one until 16/12. Younger one wouldn't be being left alone. Do you have so little trust in the older one?

I leave my 12 and 8 year old while I go to the supermarket or for a run. Nothing more than about 45 minutes and always contactable.

It depends so much on the individual children. I used to leave DS1 in charge of his brothers from about 13, the others would have been 11 and 6. That would be to go somewhere fairly local, so I could get back within about 10 minutes if I needed to.
My niece and nephew fought terribly, they couldn't be left alone together until the youngest was about 16!

That link says there is no minimum age for babysitting.

But that still isn’t a set Age for babysitting, it’s a recommendation because you need to judge the maturity of the child. The case of the mother of the 14year old who got cautioned made the papers because it was unusual and, if it’s the full story, batshit. It isn’t usually going to end up with a police caution.

I think it's totally fine. 13 year old (if they are happy to do it) is old enough to keep an eye on a nine year old for a couple hours early evening I think. I think if the 9 year old was alone then only popping for local for 10 - 15 mins would be appropriate.

So- if a 12 and 14 year old go into town for two hours together, how is that different than if they stay home for two hours together?

Why would one be a babysitting scenario and the other not?

If a 12 year old can be left alone, why not two 12 and aboves?

This is not a legal issue anyway as the law does not specify.

that sounds perfectly fine to me.

Think I'm going to wait till the youngest is over 12 to leave them both for any length of time, that seems sensible.

That said I do think the guidance is pretty unhelpful. I think to say no under 13 can ever be left (or they can but you risk prosecution) is not very realistic for most families and the also is not giving children independence in a gradual way which I think is good parenting. Kids of 11 are regularly travelling many miles to school surely they need to be left alone a bit before this so that they can prepare gradually for taking on more independence in secondary school.

I guess it depends how you would feel knowing if anything did happen, and how the older child would feel too. I'm not happy about putting that responsibility onto them really. Others might feel differently.

What KingLouieCat said. A quick trip to the shops but not out to dinner at night.

The law states that no child under 14 can be left to look after a younger one. However your friend's eldest may be nearly 14 and she knows her children better than you so don't worry about it.

I'd probably leave the 13 year old alone but not in charge of the 8 year old. For leaving alone I'd say 12 and babysitting anyone under 12 I'd say 15.