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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have an afternoon tea wedding reception?

210 replies

pinknight · 21/07/2018 12:20

We're planning on a small wedding, under 20 people including us. The ceremony will be at a registry office

Reception venues seem to want minimum 50 guests and insist on us paying for things like DJs which we definitely don't want (the guests will mainly be over 50).

Then if you have sit downs you have to pick the same starter, main and dessert which isn't ideal.

I've found a hotel nearby that does afternoon tea receptions which sounds nice, but I'm thinking, will it be enough food? It says sandwichers, cakes, champagyne, tea etc are included.

What would you think if you went to something like this, and do you think it's enough to fill people up?

OP posts:
frami · 21/07/2018 14:09

I went to an Afternoon Tea wedding last year it was wonderful. Lots of food and nothing wasted. There were a lot of children present who would probably left most of a fancy sit down dinner.

PortSouth · 21/07/2018 14:18

I'd love an afternoon tea reception but if you want a more substantial meal you could always book a restaurant. We've been to a few wedding receptions at restaurants after the ceremony.

ShotsFired · 21/07/2018 14:22

@pinknight I have been to an afternoon tea wedding/reception, so some direct feedback:

  • it is a lovely idea, first off!
  • explain what the agenda is (we did ceremony then just awkwardly stood round wondering, till a guest randomly found some food inside and shouted over! B&G had vanished at this point, photos I assume)
  • massive emphasis on the service of the tea will make it (we literally unwrapped some cling filmed plates in a small side room and poured our own basic tea from over-brewed urns)
  • make enough! (We got maybe 2 triangles and a scone each? And they were pretty nasty cheap white sliced bread with premixed sandwich fillings and mass catered dry scones)
  • if you are having more food later, say so! (Much later a random bbq buffet appeared, but I know some guests had already gone to the main hotel bar and ordered bar food from there as they were so hungry!)

Hope that helps!

MissHavisham1984 · 21/07/2018 14:25

My cousin's daughter was married last month and had an afternoon tea reception. It was a seated reception with beautifully decorated tables. I think the guest total was 40ish. We were served sandwiches, savoury bits and pieces, scones, jam and cream and cakes. Lots of tea and coffee. Reception drink of Pimms on arrival with a bar if wanted. It was really lovely and thoroughly enjoyed by everyone. I preferred it to a 3 course meal.

daisychain01 · 21/07/2018 14:27

Sounds like a lovely arrangement doing it your way.

the guests will mainly be over 50

gotta laugh at the decision not to,have a DJ is because people are over 50 so that must mean they don't like music, dancing or anything loud. They'll be in bed by 9.00 then Grin

Summersup · 21/07/2018 14:30

Sounds lovely.

I had a private room in a very nice restaurant, amazing food and not a 'wedding package' so that's another option.

PUGaLUGS · 21/07/2018 14:38

As a guest, I would love an afternoon tea for a wedding reception.

pudcat · 21/07/2018 14:38

This sounds lovely and takes me back to the days of when weddings were not so lavish. We only had a small number of guests and we had a buffet tea after the ceremony. No discos or evening do then. Bride and groom seen off on honeymoon by everyone. A lovely day to remember

Ariela · 21/07/2018 14:52

We got married in the afternoon and self-catered afternoon tea. Think sandwiches, sausage rolls, mini eggs, vol au vents that type of thing plus scones/cream tea small cakes. Everyone liked it.

XiCi · 21/07/2018 14:53

gotta laugh at the decision not to,have a DJ is because people are over 50 so that must mean they don't like music, dancing or anything loud. They'll be in bed by 9.00 then grin

Haha, this really struck me as well from the OPs post. The assumption that anyone over 50 will be wanting to sit quietly with a cup of tea and a scone made me laugh.

're the afternoon tea it's not something I'd enjoy. I don't really like sandwiches, they're something I'd grab as an absolute last resort if I was hungry at a train station or similar. I also would not want to fill up on sugary cakes so I'd be starving. Then after a few drinks I'd be pissed and starving Grin. Have you thought about booking a private room in a restaurant?

FatSally · 21/07/2018 15:02

One afternoon tea reception I've been to and it was miserable.

Ceremony at 12. A couple of canapés at 2.30. Afternoon tea at 4 - tiny posh sandwiches and cake.

It all looked lovely but I wanted to chew my own arm off by 8pm, as did most people. Kids were grumpy, adults were pissed. People descended on the hog roast like vultures at 8pm and there wasn't enough to go around because people were so hungry.

If you're asking people to be your guests for a whole day you need to feed them properly.

madeyemoodysmum · 21/07/2018 15:07

Ooooooh. I'd love this !

borntobequiet · 21/07/2018 15:17

I would enjoy going to a wedding like that and would be greatly relieved if there was no evening do planned. I find weddings tedious, in general.

bananasandwicheseveryday · 21/07/2018 15:20

I've had lots of afternoon tea and they have varied from the ridiculous (two finger sandwiches that were curling up and a scone, no cake, 1 cup of tea per person) to the sublime (top London hotel, amazing and bottomless supply of sandwiches, cakes, scones and pastries as well as the opportunity to drown oneself in tea or coffee) and just about everything in between.
I'd love an afternoon tea wedding, my only request would be a good range of sandwich fillings - last tea I had offered us as many sandwiches as we could eat, but all fish based, tuna, smoked salmon prawn etc. We had to ask for something suitable for a person who is cannot eat fish and seafood which was a bit awkward.
Most places now are geared up for gluten free options, in fact, sometimes the gluten free choices have been even nicer that the regular food.
Definitely go for it. Have a wonderful day.

Original poster
pinknight · 21/07/2018 15:42

@ XiCi Obviously not everyone over this age will want to sit down with tea and scones, but I know all these people well and know they are not the type to want a DJ or loud music.

OP posts:
TakeAChanseyOnMe · 21/07/2018 15:46

Like Summersup, we also had a private dining room in a restaurant. We had 25 guests. The area had its own bar and sitting area and we had it until 1am.

PlatypusPie · 21/07/2018 15:47

It sounds delightful - much like the kind of wedding I remember attending as a child and very appropriate for the number of guests you are having.

Congratulations !

BottleOfJameson · 21/07/2018 15:58

I think it sounds great as long as there is enough of everything.

Teaandbiscuits35 · 21/07/2018 16:05

Sounds lovely! I’ve always been ready to burst after Afternoon Tea so agree with above, as long as the quantity is sufficient then people will not go hungry.
Congrats 😍

Somewhereovertherainbow13 · 21/07/2018 16:06

We did afternoon tea, we had our wedding at 2.30 and sat down at 3.30. We made sure all our guests knew it was afternoon tea not a sit down meal and then our wedding venue caterers suggested the food for our evening meal and specifically went for more filling buffet type hot food to make up for the afternoon tea

greendale17 · 21/07/2018 16:40

If you're asking people to be your guests for a whole day you need to feed them properly.

^This. Afternoon tea is fine for a treat with friends or a baby shower. To me it is just stingy for a wedding.

keyboardkate · 21/07/2018 16:50

As I said earlier, afternoon tea is a lovely idea where there are a small number of guests, a short ceremony and it is all over after the tea thing.

If there is anything else on the horizon on the day such as a gathering and BBQ/Buffet later on, forget it.

I think afternoon tea is perfect for a short ceremony/celebration. Nothing later though. IMV, otherwise just go the whole hog and have canapes first and a big meal afterwards. Just my opinion.

LavendarGreen · 21/07/2018 17:02

Sounds lovely @pinknight

I had an afternoon tea, in a VAIR posh hotel the other week, and it was bloody beautiful! Grin

Go for it. And congratulations! Flowers

Lipsticktraces · 21/07/2018 17:04

It’s perfectly possible to have an extremely filling afternoon tea where nobody starves to death. Here is a picture from one of the cake stands at my wedding and every guest was allowed as many refills as they wanted!

to have an afternoon tea wedding reception?
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 21/07/2018 17:06

Afternoon tea doesn't have to be stingy.
4 to 6 sandwiches each.
2 or three savouries. Scone jam and cream
Couple of dainty cakes.
Plenty