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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours in garden.

76 replies

KindergartenKop · 21/07/2018 10:57

We live in a semi detached house with a small garden in London. It's hot so we've been sleeping with the windows open. Next door but one is a student house. Last night and at least once this week they've been out in the garden talking and woken us up. This has been after 10:30pm because that's when we go to bed and we definitely have been woken from sleep rather than not able to get to sleep.
Aibu to have a chat with them? Fwiw I don't let my kids play in the garden until 9am so as not to wake child free neighbours, I feel they are not being considerate of our sleep.

OP posts:
Chickenbhunaandoice · 22/07/2018 19:23

It's only got a tiny apeture, will consult with DH and DSs.

To see which can wee into the tiny hole best? I would assume the smallest penis? Although a casualty trip to explain why your penis is stick in the hole of a nerf gun would eb amusing.

I think they were suggesting that you wee elsewhere and decant it into the nerf gun- not urinate into the nerf directly!

KindergartenKop · 22/07/2018 20:27

You've got to weigh up size with ability to actually wee in the Nerf gun instead of all over your mother (Ds2 is very young).
Tonights plan is for DH to swap rooms with DS1, who sleeps at the front. I think that will work.

OP posts:
KindergartenKop · 22/07/2018 20:27

You've got to weigh up size with ability to actually wee in the Nerf gun instead of all over your mother (Ds2 is very young).
Tonights plan is for DH to swap rooms with DS1, who sleeps at the front. I think that will work.

OP posts:
Gorrillagirlfanclub · 22/07/2018 21:34

If they laughed at your dh and are being aresholes about it let your kids out at 7am every morning! Then put a note through the door saying you will stop when they do. If that's a bit confrontational call the council noise team. Also if they rent the landlord has a responsibility too. Not sure how you find out who that is though?

oracle2811 · 22/07/2018 21:44

YAU OP. They are entitled to talk in their own garden. Be grateful that is all you have to deal with.

SunShades · 23/07/2018 01:00

I'd be with you if they were having parties(but even that's not unreasonable at 10.30). But they really have every right to talk in their own garden, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Bibesia · 23/07/2018 08:43

If they were up at 4.30 a.m. making a noise, I hope you've sent your children out into the garden first thing in the morning with instructions to make as much noise as possible.

FASH84 · 23/07/2018 08:51

9am isn't too early for DC to play outside as long as they're not needlessly screeching and screaming, but a chat in the garden at night isn't unreasonable either. They don't complain about your children, they're not partying it's just a natural consequence of where you live, your DH is BU expecting to police people's conversations because he wants to go to bed early on a Friday night

phoebemac · 23/07/2018 09:03

KindergartenKop if they are being noisy at 4:30 am, that is not on. I would try having another word with them, and then if they still behave like this, have a word with their university.

ciderhouserules · 23/07/2018 09:15

Jesus - who thinks 9am is too early for kids to be in the garden?

Builders can start from 830!

WeightedCompanionCube · 23/07/2018 09:33

Get onto their uni - our uni would absolutely bollock us if a noise complaint came in from the local community.

I'm with your DH OP - we have the same issue with neighbours next door to us who are up so late and loud in their garden along with barbecuing every bloody night that we've had to move the kids into the master bedroom and take the noise hit ourselves... and now they've taken to having their late night garden chillout chats (with voices at a level Brian Blessed would be proud of) with the bloody parrot in his cage sat out there with them.

I'm at my wits end and going to get an air con when we've got spare money to be able to shut the windows a bit more - and I'm now at the point I want to move out just to get away from it - it's shredded my nerves badly this summer.

It was them trying to play God Save The Queen on a Vuvzela at midnight that broke me completely a few weeks ago.

CocoaGin70 · 23/07/2018 09:33

I'd send your kids out in the garden with nerf guns and as many noisy toys as you can muster up at around 6am.

And invite all the street round. Make a party of it.

4.30 am Shock.

Nerdybeethoven · 23/07/2018 09:35

We have similar here. I worry hugely about my DS who sleeps at the back of the house and therefore nearer all the gardens. We have neighbours everywhere out in the gardens - behind and to the left and to the right. Sometimes it's parties with music, often it's just sitting out and eating / drinking / talking. He has ASD and trouble sleeping, for which he takes medication. So far, we've managed to time it that he goes to bed when drowsy with the meds, and we keep the windows closed and don't make any mention of the noise. So far so good.

I wouldn't be able to sleep through it though and I, too, get wound up even though, most of the time, I know that these people are just enjoying the warm evenings and not meaning any harm.

I understand where your DH is coming from. Often the anticipation / anxiety / annoyance about the inconsideration of others is far worse than the actual net noise.

We have been frequently disturbed / woken up this summer by our new neighbours who seem to have the world and his wife over at the drop of a hat late at night. They're not exactly partying and there's no music but they make a fuck of a lot of racket saying goodbye to each other (right under our bedroom window). I'm trying to suck it up in the knowledge that, come the autumn, there'll be less of it. And particularly happy this week because they're on holiday!

I would suggest you keep the windows closed. We always have done. Set a fan with a timer perhaps? Ear-plugs. I'd rather be hot than bothered by noise.

KindergartenKop · 23/07/2018 09:39

Last night they had a BBQ and gathering (party). 10ish people talking beyond midnight. DH slept in DSs room and I slept with DS. Even after I had a word with them in the afternoon they ignored us! I let the kids out early!!!
Annoyingly one of their conversations centered around a girl not wanting to wake up before 10am...

OP posts:
iliveinchucks · 23/07/2018 09:47

I’m surprised they are still living there if they are students? Most would have gone home by now.

Nerdybeethoven · 23/07/2018 10:02

I have to say a pray for rain when I notice neighbours stoking up their BBQs / fires for the umpteenth time. I've always loathed summer for this reason. Don't mind people having fun but it gets very wearing after a while when people are so inconsiderate.

Might these students all sod off soon? Or get summer jobs? You'd have to hope so.

I hope you all slept better last night. We've had all sorts of weird and wonderful sleeping arrangements over the years in a bid to get some sleep and avoid neighbour noise. Do - within reason - whatever it takes. Presumably the kids are heavy sleepers?

wink1970 · 23/07/2018 10:16

ah, summer, when everyone annoys their neighbours just that little bit more....

On our road at the moment, we have:

an extension being built, so banging from 8am
children kicked out in the garden at 8
our 'smoker' neighbour, who for some inexplicable reason prefers to stand at the end of her drive in her nightie at 7am, rather than using her considerably large back (or front) garden. That 'first fag cough' is a lovely alarm clock for us all
BBQ king who is playing music until about 10 every night: not loud but the same playlist each time

Nerdybeethoven · 23/07/2018 11:01

Oh I am glad (but not glad) that it's not just me being a miserable cow.

Counting the days till October when everyone should fuck off back inside their houses until next spring.

Oh, and let's not forget the bastard bloody dogs. New one behind, new one opposite. I mean that'll be an all-year-round thing but more noticeable when you dare to open your windows or - heaven forbid - sit in your garden.

CrazyDaisy2018 · 23/07/2018 11:09

If you know where they're studying, contact the college/university. My neighbours did that about an annoying student house, and I don't know what was said to them, but the noise stopped immediately.

pigsDOfly · 23/07/2018 13:03

I was going to come on and say the same as CrazyDaisy about their college.

Also do you know who their landlord is or LL's agent. Some LL's agents put a little plaque on the wall of houses they manage. Although, having said that they might not give a damn and probably won't do anything to stop it anyway, but worth a try.

The college is probably the best bet.

SunShades · 23/07/2018 13:06

The idea that a college or university would be interested in one of their students talking in a garden in the evening is completely laughable.

DH is headteacher of a school that includes a sixth form, and he certainly isn't interested in dealing with what his sixth formers get up to at night.

pigsDOfly · 23/07/2018 13:16

Some universities will deal with disturbances caused by students, some won't. It's always worthwhile giving it a go.

They're not talking in their garden in the evening, they're disturbing their neighbours at 4.30 in the morning and laughing at them when they ask them to keep the noise down.

poobumwee · 23/07/2018 13:21

get DH ear plugs.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 23/07/2018 13:26

His 6th formers will still be in the care of their parents, SunShades, so rightly none of his business outside school hours. Uni is a bit different.

sleepylittlebunnies · 23/07/2018 13:29

I work permanent nights so sleeping in the day is an art form in this weather. Being knackered helps but I get in at 08.30 sort the kids out, have breakfast and shower. Then my bedroom window gets shut, 2x black out blinds down and fan on. It drowns out dogs barking, lawn mowing, kids playing, building and dustbin lorries and other vehicles.

In the winter I just don’t hear anything loudly enough to disturb me with double glazed windows closed. When I’m working obviously these noises are expected and are not at an unsociable hour so I wouldn’t be reasonable to complain anyway but I think it’s best to do everything you can to resolve the issue yourselves as they clearly aren’t going to.

For posters suggesting sending the kids out to play at 7 in the morning that’s just going to cause upset for other neighbours.

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