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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbours in garden.

76 replies

KindergartenKop · 21/07/2018 10:57

We live in a semi detached house with a small garden in London. It's hot so we've been sleeping with the windows open. Next door but one is a student house. Last night and at least once this week they've been out in the garden talking and woken us up. This has been after 10:30pm because that's when we go to bed and we definitely have been woken from sleep rather than not able to get to sleep.
Aibu to have a chat with them? Fwiw I don't let my kids play in the garden until 9am so as not to wake child free neighbours, I feel they are not being considerate of our sleep.

OP posts:

PlatypusPie · 21/07/2018 12:20

We have ( London) small gardens backing into one another - there are some student houses but they aren’t the ones making noise late into the night, talking loudly etc. It has been unusually hot, people have their windows and doors open late and some of the wider, deeper extensions that have been built recently here seem to provide a soundbox ie everything is amplified out through the open backs.

We are are quite low pitched, quiet people ourselves and the lack of consideration by others is annoying but it is not like that most summers - it simply isn’t as consistently hot and clear. I don’t think it is unreasonable to be chatting out in a garden at 10.30 and I do think it is rude to start telling people to keep it down. It can’t be so bad if you have managed to get to sleep in the first place - maybe your sleep quality is not very good anyway, at the moment, due to the heat and other noises coming in through open windows.

HoleyCoMoley · 21/07/2018 12:22

Your dh could wear earplugs as pp suggest, go to bed later, get air con unit. 10.30 is not late to sit outside, the heat won't last much longer.

brizzledrizzle · 21/07/2018 12:29

That's not late really, I get that it's the holidays now but some students don't finish lectures until gone 6pm so by the time they have got home, eaten and done some work and want to relax it is going to be that kind of time of night.

spiderplantsgalore · 21/07/2018 12:30

I can't believe people are saying that 9am is too early for children to be outside playing.
I'm at an age often considered to be grumpy on MN and I think 9am is absolutely fine.
I don't like actual squealing and screaming at any time, but 9am is not too early for children to be out.

mando12345 · 21/07/2018 12:33

Oh and I agree 9.00 is a perfectly considerate time for children to play in the garden.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 21/07/2018 12:33

Agreed that 9am isn't too early for kids to be out playing! That's ridiculous! I like a lie in as much as the next person but you can't expect every kid in the neighbourhood to stay inside until midday because you have a hangover.

wanderings · 21/07/2018 12:33

We've had this problem with students next door to us - they're all male and two of them have "crowded room" voices which they use for normal conversation, doubly so when they've had a bit to drink. (Supernanny didn't teach them about "inside" voices when surrounded by people trying to sleep!)

We grin and bear it when it's during the day or early evening, even though it makes our own garden less inviting. But we have asked them to be quiet if it's after 10:30pm, telling them that we have work early tomorrow morning (unfortunately we can still hear them through the wall if they go inside). We also have the problem that if we have to ask them to be quiet, we get all keyed up and annoyed about having to do so, so then we can't sleep.

There was one evening when they were yakking loudly at 1:30am after a night out (after we'd knocked on their door twice); DP then banged on our bedroom wall with a hammer and literally yelled through the wall at the top of his voice, frightening the cats. There was silence thereafter, but we couldn't sleep for three hours, we were so worked up. We're semi-detached so we didn't disturb neighbours on the other side.

OliviaStabler · 21/07/2018 12:37

Stick your head out of the window and say loudly "Oy, can you keep the noise down please, people trying to sleep here". It's worked for me.

This ^^ Always works for me unless they are real arseholes.

wanderings · 21/07/2018 12:38

If your students are two doors away, perhaps you could speak to some of the other neighbours as well, get them your side, then you can tell the students with some truth "you're disturbing other households as well".

Happyhippy45 · 21/07/2018 12:39

Don't complain. They're not doing anything wrong. They just have a different routine to yours.
Our walls are paper thin. So thin we can hear each other peeing and worse
They get up at 6.00am and go to bed about 10.00pm. They have a primary school aged child so he's in bed earlier than that.
We don't have young children, are not early risers and go to bed about 12.30-1.00am
We coexist quite well even thought we get regular occasions when they disturb us and likely we disturb them though I think we are the quieter neighbours We only have had a chat with them when it was getting excessively noisy in the mornings and regularly waking us up. They run part of their business from home and that's what was generating the excess noise.
I'd save your complaining for something bigger otherwise you'll potentially come across as being a moan.

Badtasteflump · 21/07/2018 12:40

I would save the hassle of relying on other people to not disturb your sleep and just get some ear plugs - those little foam ones are really effective and you soon get used to them.

I'm a light sleeper and have to have the windows open in hot weather. If I didn't have ear plugs in there would always be something waking me up - even if it's just the dawn chorus, which seems to involve every bird in village settling on my roof for a goodmold wake up chirp...

You can't expect the world to stop for your sleep so you just have to make your environment sleep-friendly - ie ear plugs, blackout curtains, fans etc.

Badtasteflump · 21/07/2018 12:41

Goodmold? Should be good old...

NewName54321 · 21/07/2018 12:54

Another one, AIBU to let kids in the garden at 9am?

If your kids (as opposed to half the neighbourhood) were playing, then the noise from that that wouldn't be a problem to me (I'd be fine with that earlier than 9am except on a Sunday).

However I'd be beyond cross if
a) they were arguing or screaming and you didn't stop them
b) they were using a toy that makes a loud, repetitive noise (trampoline, ride-on toy on concrete) until it's a reasonable time for me to go out or to put on some music to drown it out.

Butterflykissess · 21/07/2018 15:15

I wouldnt care much about the kids in the garden at 9 however I would find that more annoying than the students. As kids playing are generally alot louder than people talking anyway and im more of a night person than a morning person.

Shamoo · 21/07/2018 15:23

We use a white noise machine and it blocks out most noise from outside.

For the heat, because I appear to live in the hottest house in the world, we have finally caved in and got a portable air conditioning machine. It is a total game changer. Was £250 from Homebase, so not cheap, but on the nights where having open doors isn't enough, we have this on for a few hours and it makes a massive, massive difference. Could you get one of these and keep the door closed?

Original poster

KindergartenKop · 22/07/2018 09:15

I tried the radio last night. I was woken at 4 30am by DH telling neighbours to be quiet. Neighbours laughed.
Sigh.

OP posts:

pigsDOfly · 22/07/2018 12:03

Well, if they're waking you at 4.30 in the morning that's an entirely different issue from them talking in their garden at 10.30.

Your local council noise control people need to get involved if they're causing disturbance at that time.

SimonBridges · 22/07/2018 12:51

4.30am and laughing when you ask them to shut up is taking the piss.

My neighbours who sent their 5 children out to play in the street at 8 this morning (Sunday) were also taking the piss.

ICanOnlyLaugh · 22/07/2018 12:51

^^ exactly

Original poster

KindergartenKop · 22/07/2018 14:39

My other neighbours are going to have a chat with them too!
I didn't say originally that we went to bed at 10 30 and then later being woken from our peaceful slumber by the noise. 10 30 is not unreasonable obviously!

OP posts:

Original poster

KindergartenKop · 22/07/2018 14:39

I did say, not didn't say.

OP posts:

CandleWithHair · 22/07/2018 16:44

Water pistol OP. Giant fucking super soaker. 4:30am is massively out of order, sorry if I misread your original post

Original poster

KindergartenKop · 22/07/2018 18:30

In this weather that wouldn't be a deterrent!
I had a word with them. The man I spoke to apologised and said he'd speak to his housemates. However they are stoking up a barbie and there's at least 8 of them in the garden at the moment...

OP posts:

CandleWithHair · 22/07/2018 18:57

Fill it with wee? ¯\(ツ)/¯

Original poster

KindergartenKop · 22/07/2018 19:18

It's only got a tiny apeture, will consult with DH and DSs.

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