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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about school showing this movie

303 replies

TGISummer · 20/07/2018 22:20

DD is in Y8. Yesterday she came home upset saying that her class had watched a horror movie...she can be a bit of a drama llama so asked her what the film was:

The Purge.

BBFC/UK - Rated 15 (strong language, bloody violence).

She's just turned 13. Came home and told my younger DD and DS various graphic details. I asked her why she didn't say anything...she did, the rest of the class said it was fine and she should shut up.

I phoned head of year and (politely) asked why would you do that??!! She seemed surprised and said will get Teacher to call and explain. Felt a bit fobbed off but thought ok, will see what he says. No phone call from Teacher.

DD came home today, they watched another film:

Paranormal activity. Another rating of 15.

Seriously??!!!

I know it's just end of term movie watching but what would you do?

OP posts:
letstalk2000 · 21/07/2018 23:57

I think this is so serious, the name of the school should be leaked to the press !
The school concerned needs or rather the (SLT) need to be hold to account for such horrendous decision making.

SunShades · 22/07/2018 00:05

Goodness me @letstalk2000, you really must have a boring life is you think a film being shown in school is 'so serious'.

There are literally hundreds of more important issues that the school could be spending time on(like actually teaching the children) but oh no, one sheltered child with a helicopter parent found something scary, so they have to stop everything and deal with it.

No wonder the millennial generation is so sensitive with parenting like this.

Ucantarguewistupid · 22/07/2018 00:06

As it is ileagal for films to be sold to those under age and also to admit under age into cinemas, with serious consequences for the member of staff who sold the film this is a serious incident and you should pursue this. This is not acceptable.

SunShades · 22/07/2018 00:08

Schools aren't bound by film age classifications @Ucantarguewithstupid

HughGrantsHair · 22/07/2018 00:15

Sunshades - schools still have a responsibility not to scare the shit out of 13 year olds.

I found The Purge horrible and it made me feel sick as an adult and I like good horror films. I just don't like gratuitous violence for the sake of it.

Pumpkintopf · 22/07/2018 00:17

Sunshades you are being rude, offensive and dismissive. I hope your husband if he is a HT, is less so.

As pp have said, to show such unsuitable films to children, regardless of the requirement to adhere to age rating or not, shows a serious lack of judgement.

SunShades · 22/07/2018 00:17

As I say @HughGrantsHair, it's simply impossible for schools to cater to every single sensitive sheltered pupil. The OP's DD is clearly unable to cope with watching normal films like a normal 13 year old as she has been so sheltered by her overbearing helicopter parent.

Pumpkintopf · 22/07/2018 00:20

The OP's DD is clearly unable to cope with watching normal films like a normal 13 year old as she has been so sheltered by her overbearing helicopter parent.

Sunshades - really?! I wouldn't let my 13 yo watch these films and would not expect the school to either! Do you have children of your own?

HughGrantsHair · 22/07/2018 00:21

It's very simple - stick to the age on the film. If children want to watch films above their age rating, let them do it at home, where it isn't affecting other children.

How ridiculous.

Pumpkintopf · 22/07/2018 00:21

Hughgrantshair - indeed. I completely agree.

HughGrantsHair · 22/07/2018 00:22

Sunshades- you're just being inflammatory. Plenty of adults have said they do not like these films, let alone the "poor snowflake dd of the OP".

letstalk2000 · 22/07/2018 00:29

Perhaps the school would like to explain to the families of these people why they wish to show a film which glorifies gang violence.

The names and faces of those killed in London
16 April 2018
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Related TopicsLondon violence
In the first 100 days of 2018, 52 people were killed in London - raising serious concerns about how to tackle violent crime on the city's streets.

Stabbing was the main cause, while seven people died from gunshot wounds.

Eleven of those killed were teenagers, but almost as many were in their 40s.

The majority of victims were men, and while the borough of Haringey had the most incidents with five, people have been killed across the city.

The Metropolitan Police is investigating the cases, but here are the victims.

January 2018

  1. Steve Frank Navarez-Jara was the first person to be killed in 2018. The 20-year-old was stabbed on New Year's Day in Islington. His family said they "pray to God that Steve's death brings knife crime to an end."

  2. Elizabeta Lacatusu, who came to London from Romania to work, was stabbed in Redbridge on 3 January. She was 44.

  3. Vijay Patel, 49, died on 6 January after being attacked outside a shop in Mill Hill.

  4. Daniel Frederick died at the age of 34 after being stabbed in Hackney on 8 January.

  5. Dami Odeyingbo was only 18 when he was stabbed on 9 January in Bromley. He died in hospital the next morning.

  6. Harry Uzoka worked as a model in London. The 25-year-old was killed after being stabbed in the heart in Shepherd's Bush on 11 January.

Image copyrightHARRY UZOKA
Image caption
Harry Uzoka died at the scene in west London
7) Seyed Azim Khan's body was found in Ilford Cemetery with extensive head injuries in February, after he went missing on 24 January.

  1. Yaya Mbye was 26 when he died in hospital, having been stabbed in Stoke Newington on 28 January.

  2. Juan Olmos Saca died after being stabbed in the chest in Peckham on the 29 January. The 39-year-old spent a week in hospital but never recovered from his injuries.

  3. Lily-Mai Saint George was less than a year old when she was killed in Haringey on 31 January. The cause of death is currently unknown.

  4. Khader Saleh was stabbed at Wormwood Scrubs prison on 31 January. The 25-year-old's brother said the inmate was "a young man trying to move on in his life".

February 2018
12) Hassan Ozcan was just 19 when he died from multiple stab wounds in Barking on 3 February.

  1. Kwabena Nelson, a youth worker from Tottenham, died after being stabbed near his home on 3 February.

  2. Hannah Leonard, 55, was stabbed in a flat in Camden on 8 February.

Image copyrightMET POLICE
Image caption
Hannah Leonard was found dead inside a flat in Camden
15) Sabri Chibani was 19 when he was stabbed in the chest in Streatham on 11 February.

  1. Bulent Kabala was the first person to die from a gunshot wound in 2018. The 41-year-old was shot on 12 February and died at the scene in Barnet.

  2. Saeeda Hussain, 54, was stabbed at an address in Ilford on 13 February and died from her injuries.

  3. Lord Promise Nkenda was just 17 when he was stabbed in Canning Town on Valentine's Day.

  4. Mark Smith, 48, died from multiple injuries after being found unconscious in Waltham Forest on 15 February.

  5. Lewis Blackman was stabbed in the early hours of 18 February after attending a party in Kensington. He died aged 19.

Image copyrightMET POLICE
Image caption
Lewis Blackman had been at a party in Kensington before he was stabbed
21) Jozef Boci suffered serious head injuries after being attacked on the street in Greenwich on 17 February. The 30-year-old was taken to hospital but died from his injuries just under a week later.

  1. Rotimi Oshibanjo was stabbed in Southall on 19 February. The 26-year-old died from his injuries.

  2. Sadiq Mohammed, 20, died after being stabbed in Camden on 20 February. His mother begged those with knives to stop using them and called for action from police.

  3. Abdikarim Hassan, 17, died on the same night after also being stabbed in Camden.

  4. A 24-year-old was shot and killed in Westminster on 20 February. Police are waiting for permission from the family to release the name of the victim.

  5. Michael Boyle died from a single stab wound to the chest. He was attacked on 25 February and died in hospital, aged 44, on 10 March.

March 2018
27) Christopher Beaumont was stabbed at an address in Hammersmith on 1 March. The 42-year-old died from his injuries.

  1. Laura Figueira, 47, was found dead at her home in Twickenham on 5 March having suffered from stab wounds. Later the same day, her husband and two young sons were discovered at Birling Gap seafront, East Sussex, with all three having died from multiple injuries consistent with falling from a height.

  2. Kelva Smith was 20 when he died after being stabbed in the abdomen in Croydon. His aunt said London's issue with knife crime was "out of control".

  3. Kelvin Odunuyi was shot outside a cinema in Wood Green on 8 March. He was 19 when he died.

  4. Julian Joseph, 36, died in hospital after being attacked on a bus in New Cross on 12 March and suffering a serious head injury.

  5. Nikolai Glushkov is the oldest person to have been killed in 2018 at the age of 68. He died from compression to the neck in New Malden on 13 March.

Image copyrightFACEBOOK
Image caption
Russian businessman Nikolai Glushkov was found dead at his home
33) Joseph William-Torres, 20, was shot in a car in Walthamstow on 14 March.

  1. Lyndon Davis was 18 when he was stabbed in Chadwell Heath on 14 March. He died a few hours later.

  2. Naomi Hersi was found with stab wounds at a hotel near Heathrow Airport on 16 March. The 36-year-old was pronounced dead 30 minutes later.

  3. Russell Jones, 23, died after suffering from stab injuries and a gunshot wound in Enfield on 17 March.

  4. Tyrone Silcott was 41 when he died after being stabbed in Hackney on 18 March.

  5. Balbir Johal was admitted to hospital with stab wounds after being attacked in Southall on 19 March. The 48-year-old died shortly after.

  6. A 41-year-old was stabbed in Waltham Forest on 19 March, but has yet to be formally identified by the police.

  7. Beniamin Pieknyi was 21 when he was found with stab wounds at the Stratford shopping centre on 20 March. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

Image copyrightMET POLICE
Image caption
Police found Beniamin Pieknye at Stratford Centre with stab wounds
41) Abraham Badru, 26, was shot in Dalston on 25 March. He was described by his family as kind, bold and a "beautiful soul" who "hated confrontation".

  1. A 59-year-old was killed in Barking on 25 March, but police have not released any more information or formally identified the victim.

  2. David Potter was found dead inside a house in Tooting High Street on 26 March. The 50-year-old had suffered from stab injuries.

  3. Reece Tshoma was 23 when he was stabbed in Plumstead on 29 March.

  4. Leyla Mtumwa, 36, was found with stab wounds at a home in Haringey on 30 March. She died from her injuries.

  5. An 80-year-old woman died in hospital after an incident in Camden on 31 March. Police have not given any more details.

April 2018
47) A 20-year-old was stabbed in Wandsworth on 1 April, but police have not formally identified the victim.

  1. Tanesha Melbourne-Blake died on 2 April after a drive-by shooting in Tottenham. Friends described the 17-year-old as a "very lovable little girl in the community".

  2. Amaan Shakoor was shot in the face on 2 April in Walthamstow. The 16-year-old died a day later in hospital.

Image copyrightMET POLICE
Image caption
Amaan Shakoor was shot in a case of "mistaken identity", a family friend said.
50) Henry Vincent was stabbed at a house in Lewisham on 4 April. The 37-year-old was found collapsed in the street and died from his injuries a few hours later in hospital.

  1. Babatunde Akintayo Awofeso, 53, was pronounced dead at a bookmakers in Upper Clapton on 4 April following reports of an altercation with another man.

  2. Israel Ogunsola, 18, was stabbed to death in Hackney on 4 April. Police were alerted by a motorist and performed first aid but the teenager died at the scene.

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LondonLondon violenceMetropolitan Police ServiceCrimeLaw and order
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SunShades · 22/07/2018 00:32

I really think mumsnet is in a parallel universe at times. In the real world, 99.9% of 13 year olds are perfectly capable of watching a 15 rated film without any histrionics or upset. Yet on here, it's a serious incident requiring complaints.

HughGrantsHair · 22/07/2018 00:35

We can all make up statistics. I bet 99.9% of headteachers in the real world care about their students, your husband being the 0.1% of course.

Pumpkintopf · 22/07/2018 00:35

You're missing the point sunshades. This was not a decision for this teacher to make.

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/07/2018 00:37

Where on earth do you get your 99.9% figure from Sunshades? Thin air?

Graphista · 22/07/2018 00:42

Sunshades I'm thinking it's highly unlikely your dh is the type of ht you claim, that you've DC of this age, that you're familiar with the films concerned AND The likely effects on children of this age.

I can't imagine a ht taking that attitude to this exact issue lasting very long in their position.

"Sunshades- you're just being inflammatory." I agree.

GinPink · 22/07/2018 00:49

I'm a teacher. I generally stick to the age limits - though may show a 12 when one or two kids may still be 11 (like Harry Potter films or something).

However, this is not ok. They are films that won't teach your child anything. Even as an end of year easy watch, they are completely inappropriate.

echt · 22/07/2018 00:49

SunShades 's posts are always inflammatory, and and it's no surprise that her DH appears to be as crass in management as she claims to be in her working life. And as unlikely to be true.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 22/07/2018 00:53

I don’t care for age ratings, and have been flames on here many times about it.
But even I think that’s really inappropriate for a school! Fair enough at home if that’s what you decide (I was a horror addict at 13) but that’s not the schools decision to make.

lovestuck · 22/07/2018 00:56

If be absolutely furious.

It's a disgusting and frightening film

TGISummer · 22/07/2018 05:33

Thanks so much everyone, appreciate all the advice.
I needed a sense check and I have it.

We are in London, where knife and machete crime is a huge issue. Glamorizing it to kids is unacceptable.

The films were ridiculously inappropriate so I will be writing to school.

OP posts:
Bibesia · 22/07/2018 07:09

DH is a headteacher of a secondary school

No, he isn't.

and he has a clear line when parents complain about trivial issues like this- find another school

No, he doesn't. Because it wouldn't work, and he'd soon find himself having to explain his attitude to the governors.

DH and the rest of the school staff are completely focused on providing the best education possible

If any of this were true, clearly sitting the children down in front of inappropriate schools isn't "providing the best education possible".

and simply don't have time to be discussing silly issues like this with snowflake parents.

As has very rightly been said, "snowflakes" is a term used by sociopaths in an attempt to discredit the notion of empathy.

Bibesia · 22/07/2018 07:09

Agh, inappropriate films, not schools.

Figgygal · 22/07/2018 07:13

I'd be complaining too I'd have not bee. Happy if that had been my child