Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about school showing this movie

303 replies

TGISummer · 20/07/2018 22:20

DD is in Y8. Yesterday she came home upset saying that her class had watched a horror movie...she can be a bit of a drama llama so asked her what the film was:

The Purge.

BBFC/UK - Rated 15 (strong language, bloody violence).

She's just turned 13. Came home and told my younger DD and DS various graphic details. I asked her why she didn't say anything...she did, the rest of the class said it was fine and she should shut up.

I phoned head of year and (politely) asked why would you do that??!! She seemed surprised and said will get Teacher to call and explain. Felt a bit fobbed off but thought ok, will see what he says. No phone call from Teacher.

DD came home today, they watched another film:

Paranormal activity. Another rating of 15.

Seriously??!!!

I know it's just end of term movie watching but what would you do?

OP posts:
SunShades · 21/07/2018 14:54

@Clairetree1

Complete nonsense. A child doesn't suddenly become emotionally mature enough to watch a film the day of their 15th birthday. Each child is different, the school can't cater to the tiny minority like the OP's DD who lack the emotional intelligence required to do so.

qumquat · 21/07/2018 15:07

It does not take emotional.maturity to be able to cope with a horror film at 13. Quite the reverse I would say it takes learned ability to shut off emotions and desensitisation.

I am 39 and choose not to watch horror films. At 39 I can say this with confidence. At 13 I would have been (and was) too lacking in confidence to say anything and sat quietly in the corner then had ongoing nightmares. Teachers should not be putting students in this position.

Jux · 21/07/2018 15:08

Those sort of films terrify me! I have nightmares for weeks!! DD and DH watch them, and sometimes try to get me to watch with them, because they enjoy my squeaks. Bastards!

Not good of the school/teacher to choose those films for 13yo. Yes, some of them may have seen them but the example set is not a good one. If you ignore the rating why not show them 18s as well?

Grandadwasthatyou · 21/07/2018 15:10

A massive error of judgement. I can't see how any teacher could possibly think The Purge was appropriate for this age group.

And to sunshades who suggested the child was emotionally immature. Your view seems to be very much in the minority. My dd certainly isn't immature but would have been really upset at being shown this film.

KingLooieCatz · 21/07/2018 15:15

So what if they are immature? We endured several months of heightened anxiety after DS watched an episode of Scooby Doo that featured zombies. We haven't chosen to have a sensitive child and he certainly hasn't chosen to be one.

Graphista · 21/07/2018 16:09

Educational doesn't have to mean dry documentary either, there are thousands of excellent, thought provoking, interesting and entertaining films the teachers could have shown instead.

"9.9% of 13 year olds watch '15' rated films. If your DD lacks the emotional maturity to do so, she could have asked to go to another room." Bull! My dd would probably have been OK with the films concerned BUT I'm not stupid enough to think most DC are at this age thats WHY it's hugely inappropriate. What I do know is at 13 she wouldn't have had the confidence to speak up in a class full of peers AND with a teacher who all thought it was ok. Do you have much experience with terms of this age?

"A child doesn't suddenly become emotionally mature enough to watch a film the day of their 15th birthday." That's not the idea behind the classifications - the idea is that MOST 15 yr olds BY the time they're 15 can cope with films classified as such. In this case it was children as young as 13, that's 2 years younger than the MINIMUM age for watching - 2 years is a big difference in maturity at young ages. I very much doubt it was a "tiny minority" of parents AND children had problems with these choices.

Fanciedachange1 · 21/07/2018 17:21

I remember at school needing parental permission to watch films such as Schindler’s list in history lessons (and finding them absolutely horrifying due to the fact they were based on real events). That was in GCSE years so not as bad as the OP and also had educational value.

When I was doing AS sociology we watched Child’s Play, as it was relevant to what we were being taught about, but watching a horror film for the sake of it in school is just unnecessary.

Jozxyqk · 21/07/2018 21:57

Goodness me, some people on here are so precious.

99.9% of 13 year olds watch '15' rated films. If your DD lacks the emotional maturity to do so, she could have asked to go to another room.

Because of course they're obviously going to be emotionally mature & confident enough to do that, in front of a class full of their peers, given that they already feel uncomfortable about the film. Hmm The students are told they have to do as they are told by the teachers, yes? Did the teacher actually offer an opt-out? Because it doesn't sound like they did.

FWIW, I'm late 30s. I hate horror. Gives me nightmares, always has. I wouldn't have slept properly for weeks if had seen a film like those at 13.

rosablue · 21/07/2018 22:05

Not sure if this has been mentioned as I read some of the thread yesterday but when you report it to the school I would definitely call them out on it as a safeguarding issue and that they have failed in their duty to safeguard the under 15s in their care.

Make sure you use the word safeguarding as they have a legal duty to respond to safeguarding concerns whereas if you just say you are worried they don't!
For those saying lots of younger kids have seen 15 films - I'm sure they have. But within 15 films there are all sorts of films - some that only just missed out on a 12 while there are others which you wonder why they didn't have 18.

And with horror in particular, if you're not a fan of horror then it can be really disturbing when you have no choice and have to watch it - at 13 or at 43!

There are plenty of other good/bad/cool/etc films that were a 15 if they really had to without chosing a horror film.

MerryMarigold · 21/07/2018 22:05

My ds is in y7. I've just asked and he got to watch 'coco' and the latest jurassic park one other than the one which just came out. I think that's more appropriate. No way my slightly immature and v emotional child would watch horror. Marvel etc is fine bit horror? No way. He would probably run out of the room. He had to leave the rpom on Mrs Doubtfire tonight because it was too stressful!!! Grin

Bibesia · 21/07/2018 22:12

You don't need emotional maturity to watch a film like The Purge. Rather the reverse, in fact.

CuttedUpPears · 21/07/2018 22:19

That's just plain stupid. Remembering PA still gives me the creeps and I watched it aged 18 or 19.

getjiggywidit · 21/07/2018 22:24

It does depend very much on the child though. I watched The Grudge with 3 or 4 others on our last day of Primary school (!) aged 11.

I thought it was hilarious and did reenactments with hair over my face in the supplies cupboard Grin

You would never get away with that now.

WishITookLifeSeriously · 21/07/2018 22:34

I always get my year 8s reading something like Room 13. Then that way we can watch a movie at the end of term. Last year they chose The Woman in Black. It's a 12 and as scary as I can handle!

pickleface · 21/07/2018 22:40

Are you in the north wast op? My kid watched the same but she had seen it before and she'd hard as nails when it comes to gore but yet I was pretty outraged cos it is clearly not mainstream viewing for young teens .

ToeToToe · 21/07/2018 22:47

The Woman in Black is v scary - but good-scary, rather than gore/violence -scary.

We watched fucking Ring of Bright Water in yr7. Took me weeks, possibly years, to recover. I can still remember telling myself 'you can cry later, don't cry at school - save it for later."

SinisterBumFacedCat · 21/07/2018 23:22

I could understand some 15 cert films being ok, but not horror, that's really down to personal taste, it's not something you'd play to group of any age, let alone children. And I say this as someone who likes horror movies.

Oh and I the OPs daughter showed a damn sight more emotional maturity on questioning if this was ok, compared to her sheepy classmates telling her to "shut up".

Lostmyunicorn · 21/07/2018 23:29

I had nightmares for years, really years, after reading the book of the woman in black ag d around 13. I can’t watch any kind of horror film. My eldest is very like me, and would have been beyond distressed to have watched a film like that. I notice that some people seem to take pride in stating their dc can / do watch things that are rated well beyond their age; to me that isn’t anything to be proud of.

Amanduh · 21/07/2018 23:32

Absolutely unacceptable.

Amanduh · 21/07/2018 23:34

Oh, and I wouldn’t watch those films if you paid me. And I’m way past teenage years. ‘Emotional maturity’ is fuck all to do with it. Please report it OP.

Amanduh · 21/07/2018 23:35

(To head and governors)

Myotherusernameisbest · 21/07/2018 23:38

I would be furious. It's highly inappropriate. I've seen paranormal activity and it complete freaked me out so no way I'd let my 13 year old watch it. Haven't seen the purge but the school should not be showing 15 cert films to 13 year olds ffs.

SunShades · 21/07/2018 23:39

DH is a headteacher of a secondary school and he has a clear line when parents complain about trivial issues like this- find another school.

DH and the rest of the school staff are completely focused on providing the best education possible and simply don't have time to be discussing silly issues like this with snowflake parents.

He tells them it as it is- if you're not happy with the decisions made by the school, find another one.

letstalk2000 · 21/07/2018 23:40

What sort of 'Idiot' thinks this is a suitable film or subject to be shown to children.

The Purge
The Purge film poster.jpg
Theatrical release poster
Directed by James DeMonaco
Produced by
Jason Blum
Michael Bay
Andrew Form
Brad Fuller
Sébastien K. Lemercier
Written by James DeMonaco
Starring
Ethan Hawke
Lena Headey
Adelaide Kane
Max Burkholder
Music by Nathan Whitehead
Cinematography Jacques Jouffret
Edited by Peter Gvozdas
Production
companies
Platinum Dunes
Blumhouse Productions
Why Not Productions
Distributed by Universal Pictures
Release date
May 2, 2013 (Stanley Film Festival)
June 7, 2013 (United States)
Running time
85 minutes[1]
Country United States
Language English
Budget $3 million[2]
Box office $89.3 million[3]
The Purge is a 2013 American dystopian horror film written and directed by James DeMonaco. The film stars Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Adelaide Kane, and Max Burkholder as members of a family who find themselves endangered by a gang of murderers during the titular annual Purge, a night during which all crime, even murder, is temporarily legal, sanctioned by a reformed American government.

The film grossed $89 million against a $3 million budget, becoming the lowest-budgeted film to finish first at the box office since 1988. It is the first installment in The Purge franchise with a sequel, subtitled Anarchy, released worldwide on July 18, 2014.[4] A third film, Election Year, was released July 1, 2016, while a prequel depicting the origins of the event, The First Purge, was released on July 4, 2018.[5][6]

Contents
1 Plot
2 Cast
3 Release
3.1 Home media
4 Reception
4.1 Critical reception
4.2 Box office
5 Sequels and prequel
6 See also
7 References
8 External links
Plot
In 2014, the New Founding Fathers of America, a totalitarian political party, are voted into office following an economic collapse. They pass a law that sanctions an annual national civic tradition called "The Purge". For 12 hours each year all crime is legal, except the murder of politicians, and all emergency services are unavailable.

James Sandin returns to his home in an affluent Los Angeles gated community to wait out the night with his wife Mary and their two children, 17-year-old Zoey and 14-year-old Charlie. The family is assured that the security system manufactured by James' company will keep them safe. While the family awaits the start of the purge, Zoey meets her boyfriend Henry, an older boy whom James dislikes. James enables the security system, and as the purge begins, the family disperses in their home to go about their normal routines.

Zoey returns to her room to unexpectedly find Henry, who sneaked back in before the security system was engaged, and says that he plans to confront her dad about their relationship. Meanwhile, Charlie watches the security monitors, and sees a wounded man calling for help. He temporarily disables the system to allow the man into the house. James races to re-engage the system and holds the man at gunpoint as Henry comes downstairs and pulls a gun on James. Henry fires at James and misses, but James fires back, mortally wounding and eventually killing Henry. During the chaos, the wounded man disappears and hides.

Through the surveillance cameras, the family witness a gang of masked, heavily armed young adults arriving at the front lawn. The leader warns them that failure to surrender the wounded man will result in invasion. Mary asks James if the security system will protect them, but James admits the system will not actually resist a determined assault. They decide to find the man and give him to the purge gang outside, but after capturing him they realize they are no better than the gang. They decide to spare the man, and defend themselves against the gang.

With their deadline having passed, the gang uses a truck to rip the metal plating off the front door and enter the house. James fights back with a shotgun and kills several gang members before being mortally wounded by the leader. Charlie views the surveillance cameras, and notices their neighbors leaving their homes. The neighbors overpower and murder the gang. Elsewhere, Mary is subdued by two purgers, one of whom tickle tortures her before almost killing her, but are both killed by the neighbors. As the gang leader prepares to kill the remaining Sandins, Zoey appears and kills him.

Mary thanks their neighbors for their support, but one of them, Grace Ferrin, reveals their hatred for the Sandins due to the wealth acquired at their expense. They tie Mary, Charlie, and Zoey up with duct tape, pulling them out into the hallway to kill them, but as the neighbors make final preparations for the murder, the man whom Charlie let in earlier reappears. He shoots a neighbor dead and holds Grace hostage, forcing the neighbors to free the Sandins. He asks if Mary wishes to kill the neighbors, but Mary spares them. Eventually, the sirens go off, announcing the end of the annual purge. The neighbors leave, Mary thanks the man for his help, and he bids the Sandins good luck.

During the credits, news reports are heard, which state that this year’s purge was the most successful to date. Other stations broadcast that the stock market is booming due to the massive sales of weapons and security systems. A man’s voice speaks of the loss of his patriotism after the death of his sons the night before.

ILoveMyMonkey · 21/07/2018 23:49

SunShades

trivial issues like this
What a load of bullshit!! Showing horror films to children is not a trivial issue. Aside from the fact they are underage who the hell knows what goes on outside of school with these children and how a sick film like.this might affect them.

DH and the rest of the school staff are completely focused on providing the best education possible
I fail to see exactly how showing a film encourage violence and unlawfulness is providing a valuable education - sounds more like how can we waste time at the end of the year and scare the kids shitless?!

simply don't have time to be discussing silly issues like this with snowflake parents.
If this is really your husband's attitude then he can't be a very good HT.

Op I'd be absolutely livid. It's not so much the age restrictions but more the genre (and the lack of parental consent). By all means stick a 15 comedy on but horror movies should be at the discretion of the individual / parents and it is completely inappropriate to be showing those not once but twice. Complain.

Swipe left for the next trending thread