to wonder why 'emetophobes' are everywhere on MN

[OuchLegoHurts]

Why does every second person on Mumsnet seem to declare themselves an emetophobe? Does anyone actually enjoy vomiting? I would have thought that everyone hates getting sick, but to label oneself emetophobic is overly dramatic in most cases?

Thankfully I don't have this but I'm not going to judge anyone who does. I don't like other people being sick but I can deal with it if I have to even if it makes me feel nauseous. I wonder why there so many people who don't believe in something just because they don't suffer from it themselves.

I've had emetophobia from childhood. It was so bad from age 8-16 that I missed huge amounts of school, refused to sleep or eat if I'd encountered someone with a potential vomit bug, wouldn't sleep at other people's houses, socially isolated myself, and became completely engrossed in obsessive rituals to "protect myself".

It's not just really disliking being sick. I won't get those years back...

I had migraines as a child, throwing up signalled the end of the bought, usually after a day or two. Interested to hear of others having the same reaction. There was no internet in the 70s and grew out of it when my periods started 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've never heard of anyone describing vomiting on here before.

@Blushah I'm getting getting for work so not got time to find the posts to quote you but I stated I hoped you showed compassion to people with phobias, then you post saying people were saying you couldn't do your job, you are being dramatic and twisting my words, and you are bitching about your patients staying you can tell the DNAs from their address, how judgemental of you.

You also seem to have a huge issue with younger people, maybe your manner makes people reluctant to disclose sensitive things about themselves so like a PP said you will have met people with phobias they just choose not to disclose to you for some reason. To clarify I'm sure you are good at your job but I have seen many different 'bedside manners' in HCPs, that doesn't ultimately define how good they are at the job, but it makes the world of difference to the anxious/worried patient

I can't discuss this all day as I'm off to work (In private healthcare as it happens)

What happens when my children are sick? I leave. The fear is that strong that I can’t be in the same room (even when I just think they might be sick) and preferably not the same building.
It’s not actual vomit as that doesn’t bother me. It’s not a dislike of being sick. It’s a fear that compels me to get as far away as possible if somebody might be sick

From childhood I used to feel sick for up to 24 hours before vomiting and be a mess just from feeling sick. This continued into adulthood until my first pregnancy, when I was sick so frequently that my own fear of being sick calmed a little. But I have never got over the fear of somebody else being sick nearby

Reading this makes me wonder if people understand how forums work. The people who comment on any topic are self-selecting from those who have an interest, so no ‘everyone’ doesn’t have emetophobia- for everyone who comments thousands will have read it and moved on. I am a recovering emetophobe, by which I mean I have worked hard to relearn my reactions so that my phobia doesn’t impact my life in the way it did as a teenager (30 years ago). Only my husband and immediate family know I have any issues.

Mine fear has always been around others vomiting more than myself. Mainly as I have had great success in being able to prevent myself vomiting (only succumbed once in last 30 years) the idea that anyone would ever welcome vomiting to find relief is something I can’t relate to at all.

For years I couldn’t go on planes, coaches or boats due to being terrified of others vomiting. At the age of 12 I slept overnight in the shed as my sister had a bug and I was hysterical at the thought of being under the same roof as her in case I heard a vomit noise. Avoiding drunk people severely curtailed my social life as a young adult and for years I thought I would never be able to cope with having kids. Today I have got to a point where ferries and coaches are still out of bounds but everything else is just inside my head and I don’t think most would ever know.

Worryingly though DS1 is showing signs of the same fear even though I thought I had tried hard to keep it from the kids and force myself to deal with them when they’re ill. DH says my fear is still evident in my body language though as I tense up if someone reports feeling unwell.

huha You (and some others) are missing the point I was making. Nowhere did I say that emetophobia doesn't exist, or that it means just disliking vomiting.

What I questioned was whether everyone who claims to have it, actually has it. You say you do, that's fine, you probably do. But it's thrown into so many threads that I just wondered about the likelihood of it being so common. That's all.

@OuchLegoHurts I think it's been an interesting thread and I'm glad you started it, you can understand why people with emet have got defensive as it's one of the most difficult phobias to explain and for others to understand, I think people understand phobias like heights more as there's a fear of injury or death from it for Eg but with emet it can't actually harm the person who has it so it's bizarre we fear it so much (although I understand some emets have a fear of catching bugs etc which is obv terrifying for them) but on the whole it's a bizarre irrational phobia

I think it's shown to people who doubted it existed what a real and debilitation phobia it is from reading these posts and I hope those who just don't like vomiting will also read and see the difference between a phobia and a dislike.

TheDish

It’s not about people making things up they genuinely feel uncomfortable. It’s about mislabelling that uncomfortable feeling. I think it stops people with genuine phobias being taken seriously.

TheDish
I just wanted to add that I am in no way questioning your experience. I have no doubt your phobia is real and had a negative impact on you.

@2ManyChoices I am on the first port of call, propranalol, with sumatriptan to take if I get a migraine.
My dd, 16, is on topirimate, which works for her.

Would you question if a person with a broken arm actually had a broken arm? No of corse you wouldn't. Mental illness is a thing. And peooke don't have to justify it to you

I actually quite enjoy being sick, it instantly makes you feel better when poorly. If anything, I have a 'mouth filling with water and being overly aware of your toungue' phobia. When that feeling comes, I'm gonna be sick, no matter how that has to happen.

Hopefully this thread has been an education. I have had emetophobia for 45 years but I didn't realise there was a name for it before I met a fellow sufferer when my child started primary school in 2004. Similarly, I had never heard of autism until I worked at a publishing company who published the autobiography of an autistic woman in 1993. Does that mean autism didn't exist before then?? Frankly the "no one likes being sick" mantra is just as ignorant as "I'm a little bit ocd".

I am amazed Blushah at your comments re age and address being an indicator of the type of people coming to see you - how judgemental is that? I am emetophobic, have been all my life and I am now approaching 60. I never talk about it to people as I feel hugely embarrassed about something that affects my life so badly. I deal with it in many of the ways described on this thread by other emets. Get on with my life as best I can. I am fortunate that my life as it is now is easier for me to handle and manage the phobia. But I NEVER get in a car unless I am driving, I never use coaches, buses or boats of any kind. I can handle flying just about with the help of anit-emet meds.

When I was a child no-one had autism or ADHD but now on MN every other poster has a child who suffers from one or the other or both. Doesn't mean they didn't exist in the past or that posters are making it up just that we didn't understand them, they weren't talked about, the children were kept away from mainstream society or were seen to be the naughty children.

This is an anonymous forum which allows people to talk about issues that affect their daily lives hopefully without judgement from others. Having a phobia that others deem to be ridiculous is hard. Being able to acknowledge it here can be useful for people.

It’s a very common phobia.

Thankfully not one I suffer from, as I’ve have HG for two entire pregnancies, but my dealings with women who have HG have shown me how common it is as a phobia.

It’s also very treatable, so please do seek help if you suffer from it.

I am severely emetophobic and have been for about 25 years. It absolutely takes over my life.
'No one likes vomit' - I hear this a lot. And believe me, if I just had a dislike of vomit I would be the happiest woman alive.
I think about it every minute of every day, I dream about it. My whole life revolves around it. I managed to have a child, but I have spent the last 5 years pretty much a nervous wreck inside because, god forbid, I let my little one know about any of this because I will 'ruin his life too'
I have to check on him every night, take his pulse and listen to his stomach to see if there is anything out of the ordinary, I am on edge when I drop him off and pick him up from school, checking if all the kids are there and if the same number come out at the end of the day. If there is a big going around I'm even more screwed. Everything I touch could have potential germs on it so I carry hand foam around with me at all times.
That is just a snapshot of what it is like to live with this. I desperately want another child but it just won't happen because the thought of worrying about two of them sends me completely over the edge. I have spent thousands on every type of therapy there is.
Please don't ever down play this phobia, it is very real and completely and utterly debilitating.

I have been terrified of vomit or anything related to it my whole life. I remember as a child being scared to eat in case I was sick and if there was puking in a film (which happens quite a lot in children's things) I had to leave the room.

I am still like it as an adult. I am going to a wedding today where one of my friends will be who I know has had a sickness bug this week. I am already planning how I can avoid her .

I never knew there was a word for being like this til I joined MN and I am just glad I am not alone.

Surely it’s just the case that people can be open about something online that they can’t talk about openly in real life. I’m emetophobic, it mostly affects me travelling, particularly planes. I’ve always told people i’m Claustrophobic because it’s more understandable to people and it took me a long time to understand myself that it was actually sickness I was afraid of. I think for me it started in primary school when a girl was sick in the classroom, when I told the teacher I felt sick too I got no sympathy and was told I was attention seeking. I think that is probably the reason people don’t talk about it, if someone is sick it feels terrible to make a fuss about how bad that makes you feel. It makes you feel very selfish.

I think, as with most things, there are scales of phobias. So you have it, but it affects your life in differing ways and to differing degrees.

I certainly have it, as does my mum (although she is probably worse than me). When I was sick as a child she would hide outside the room only peeping in every so often around the door to check on me! But she was a single parent so had to deal with it somehow. When my daughter is sick, my husband deals with it. She's old enough now to get to the loo or whatever in time. I would never take the night bus home after a night out in case someone was sick.

I can cope better with myself vomiting than others around me. Funnily enough I work with small children but within our team there are people who don't mind dealing with vomit but can't do poo or snot so I make sure I pick up the slack with those things and leave the vomiting child to my colleagues! I will happily go and get clean clothes, mops, buckets, sawdust, whatever but just don't ask me to deal with the actual vomit! For me, its more than just not liking something. It is going into actual panic mode e.g. sweating, heart racing etc if you think someone around you is going to be sick. I don't allow it to stop me touching things whilst out and about but I do always wash my hands when I get home or before I eat anything as I am 99% sure I once got a terrible bug from eating a cake directly after pushing a trolley in the supermarket. However, I still push trollies, I just don't put my hands in my mouth until I've had chance to wash them.

I guess most people won't exactly love being sick, but not everyone fear it. I personally don't really mind (unless it's a bug that's had me sick over and over again for ages and I'm very sore already). I actually much prefer it to the feeling of being too full, for example, sadly.

Nobody actively looks forward to vomiting. Cleaning up someone else's vomit is never pleasant.

There are a very small number of people who are truly emetophobic in the same way that there are a very small number of people who have medically diagnosed anxiety, or OCD, or any other condition.

People just like sticking labels on themselves though even if they don't have the condition as seriously as they are claiming.

It's not that I 'don't like being sick'. It's that I have spent over 2/3 of my life in a state of heightened anxiety about the possibility of being sick, and have avoided situations where I could get sick to the extent that I have missed out on certain experiences in my life.

@twoheaped ahhh, yeah I'm on gabapentin, buccal anti sickness and zolmytriptan. Bloody horrendous.

Was meant to meet up with my DP and his youngest today who has just vomited after an hours car journey down, DP swears it travel sickness but I'm currently sat in my room cradling my bottle of anti bac in a mild state of panic about the whole thing. If he vomits again DP and I won't see each other for the week because there's a chanceits a bug.

I already feel sweaty and sick and I haven't seen the youngest for 2 weeks. This is what it does.