To want to cancel tonight at last minute.. Or shake me to see sense

[INeedMoreCakeInMyLife]

So. Posted previously about the fact I think I may be suffering with PND ( docs next week)
So baby is 4 months. Only left with my mum for a dentist appointment or for ten min to do school run occasionally. And obviously left with dp.. Norm while I go grocery shopping (I hate if dp goes for me as I need to check best dates on everything.. He wouldn't lol, and I love grocery shopping)

I haven't been out to socialise in probably two years., simply because It was to places I wouldn't go to as not comfortable . Then was ill. Then pregnant so it was my perfect excuse not to go out with work colleagues (too tired) or so etimes, dp was working so had no one for my eldest...

Anyway. Yesterday it was sprung on me to go out with some workmates. Ones who I get on quite well with. But haven't heard much from them since mat leave. I said yes id go.. It's local and only for about 3 hours.
I was kinda looking forward to it when mentioned.

Today.. I just have a sense of dread. I'm trying to think of excuses..im feeling really un easy about it. I have no idea why. My heart is racing thinking about it.
I'm driving so can leave if needed.. But then I'd feel rude..

I hate being out of routine.. Even just by an hour so this is killing me.

Shall I just cancel

Try and push yourself to go out, I have been depressed before and am currently taking Sertraline for anxiety and sometimes the 'dread' feeling of going out can be pretty strong, but if you'll push past it you'll likely enjoy yourself and if not you'll get stuck in more of a rut.

If your really hating it once you're there you can always just tell them you have a headache or something coming on if it really is too much.

What;s the occasion and where is it OP?

Large crowd? Just a few?Pub? Meal? Someone's home?

To me all that would make a big difference.

I would go - it’s tough I know but if you don’t push yourself out of your comfort zone there is a chance you will get worse over time and end up never leaving the house.

Go and set your phone alarm for 45 minutes. If when the timer goes off you are not having fun, make your excuses and leave. If it’s ok , stay a bit longer.

Whatever you decide to do

Getting ready in dribs and drabs is perfect. That way it's more casual, less frenetic...just strolling out the door for a bit.
Enjoy OP.

I would cancel. Make an excuse this time (little one/you poorly) then learn how to say no in future. I stopped feeling obliged to do things to please other people a long time ago. The way I see it, why does what they want (you to join them) matter more than what you want (to stay at home )?

So what did you decide op?

I get this I really do. I get the anxiety about nights out and my dc is 2!

Thing is every time I’ve got ready and gone out I’ve felt better for it.

Before you became a mummy you were a person and that person still exists and needs self care. You’ve also got to think of the future when that child is more independent and needs you less, you need to cultivate friendships for the future.

I went. It was OK. Felt really un easy at first. But was OK in the end. Left about 9pm.

Well done.

Good for you OP. Well done for going. I know how easy it is to cancel.

Well done op, glad it was OK :)

WELL DONE!!!
great news x

Well done, OP.

Good for you, OP!