She ate all my muffins

[Underworld345]

I know this is a petty problem but it’s really starting to annoy me.

My DS conveniently comes round my house around lunch time and drops hints she wants me to make her some lunch “oh, I’m starving!” Blah blah blah. That alone I think is cheeky as I wouldn’t go round hers and hint, I’d just pop to the shop and get myself something if she didn’t nicely offer which she rarely does!

She’s done this numerous times so my annoyance is a build up...

I gave in and said there’s some avocado that needs using up and you can have one of the breakfast muffins with it.

I pop out to run some errands and I come back and all the muffins are gone.

I’m annoyed because we just bought the pack yesterday and were looking forward to eating them! I offered her food when I didn’t really want to due to her coming round and expecting all the time.

AIBU to think it’s rude to be offered a little snack then eat the whole lot?

If someone's with you at lunch time, surely you offer them lunch - just make them a sandwich or whatever you're having? Or you say 'right, lovely to see you but I need to get on with my day now, see you... ' and show them the door.

I find the idea of expecting a visitor to 'pop to the shop' then eat a picnic lunch in my house really odd. They're either with you for lunch, or they aren't.

But yes, whoever your DS is, this sounds like childish scrounging behaviour and is not on. Either offer lunch, or don't. Offering snacks to order is not a good move.

This reminds me of when I was a poor student. I'd treated myself to a very small joint of beef, which I planned to have over two meals (at least). I made myself a Yorkshire pudding to go with it. When they were cooked I left them on the side to cool down before putting them in the fridge.

My German flatmate was curious about the Yorkie and asked to have some. Of course I said yes. Went into the kitchen later to find that, not only had she finished off the pudding, she'd also eaten all the beef as well! I was not amused, especially as I'd had less than half the meat.

She did, at least, make me dinner the next day to make up for it.

Assuming your sister wasn't there when you got home why don't you text her and ask her where the rest of the pack is as you were looking forward to them?

She's greedy and thoughtless.

But look on the bright side: you've now got the perfect excuse for when she next comes round and drops hints about being hungry. 'I'm not feeding you again. You ate a whole pack of muffins last time.'

How many muffins? Is she skint? Could she have put them in her bag to take home maybe?

Couldn't imagine eating more than two of them and I can eat a lot!

Who on earth expects guests to go to the shop if they're hungry?

My sisters come here and help themselves... just as I do at their houses... are we weird then?

I'd just say don't eat all my biscuits I want them later, or that quiche is for dinner have something else.,.

perfect excuse for when she next comes round and drops hints about being hungry. 'I'm not feeding you again. You ate a whole pack of muffins last time.'

This ^^

Unless she's a teenager DSis, then I'd be more understanding and talk to DM or DF about why she is so hungry.

What age is DSis?

I confronted her when I came back. She was just like “oh, you said I could have the muffins” she said she’d buy me some more but in a I’m making a huge deal kind of tone. She had her dog with her which I why I said she could stay at my house while I popped out. She had 3 muffins, maybe she gave some to her dog.

It’s not the muffins, it’s the principle. It’s happened too many times. Problem is my DM is mostly round at the same time and I don’t mind giving her lunch, she does lots for me and it not grabby from her. I can’t really offer my mum lunch but not my sister.

She has been unemployed and financially constrained but now has a well paid job but her attitude towards taking where she can hasn’t changed.

I think generally if someone pops round it’s nice to offer lunch and normally I would if I felt it would be reciprocated etc. But not when someone strategically comes round at lunch time often and drops hints to be fed!

I would just say to her " it's beginning to really grate that you always turn up at lunchtime and expect to be fed. I feel like there's no give or take - when was the last time you made me lunch or bought me a coffee? I know you think I'm being petty about the muffins - but honestly, do you not think to ask? I wanted them for my tea. I expected you to eat one, not the whole pack."

Then wait to see what she says. Chances are she'll have a big strop but hopefully it will make her think. Next time she turns up at lunchtime just say "sorry, I don't have anything in - will you nip to the shop and get us both a sandwich".

I think @Fuckedoffat48b is on the wrong thread. Think they meant to post on mine!

I would give her a plate with four cream crackers and absolutely nothing else.
If she asks "Is this all I can have" just say "Yep"

Well, you can either not answer the door at lunch time, or be blunt.

Also... always dropping in, or, would an invitation be relevant? Do you ever invite your Mum for lunch? Would formalising things a tiny bit help you?

Get some bread and jam (or other filling), and make up a 5 day supply of sandwiches.

Clingfilm into individual portions, and put in fridge so that they get so cold, they make your teeth hurt.

At the first hint of lunch, deliver one cling-filmed jam sandwich and say 'Enjoy'.

Repeat the following day and every day thereafter.

it's beginning to really grate that you always turn up at lunchtime and expect to be fed. I feel like there's no give or take - when was the last time you made me lunch or bought me a coffee? I know you think I'm being petty about the muffins - but honestly, do you not think to ask? I wanted them for my tea. I expected you to eat one, not the whole pack."

Great suggestion from Pheasant

Make a cake and lace with laxatives. See if that teaches her.

I had a neighbour when I was a student...she lived in the flat below. She used to come over and stand by the stove and pick, pick, pick at whatever was on it.

I often had soups or curries on it...which I'd share with my sister who worked nearby or my flatmate.

She wasn't just tasting, she'd act as though she was but then stand there till' she'd eaten a large portion!

Eventually I said "Can you not eat all the curry? That's meant to share with my sister" and she looked like all at once!

Cheeky cow!

Some people just take the piss,

To be fair I would never expect guests to go to the shop if they were hungry but I also wouldn't drop round to someone's house at lunch time and expect to be fed. To be fair if it was a close family member or friend it might be the kind of thing you both do but it sounds like the sister doesn't reciprocate so is a bit of a scrounger! (Unless she actually has money problems and can't feed herself in which case I'd definitely help her out).

Make sure she does buy those muffins and asap. Regardless of whether she seems to think you're making a big deal out of it or not.

Start being more assertive. Ask her directly if she showed up at lunch time for you to feed her when she drops hints.
Make it clear you were not expecting more people and don't have enough for her. Offer something you know she's not keen on.
When you go to hers, don't go out to buy food. Expect her to feed you.

YANBU. She's a CF. You kindly said she could have one of your muffins, she hogged the lot.

She's a CF. Buy a spatula just for swatting her thieving little mitts with. I would start to bill her the cost of whatever she's eaten and involve her in the fine details of your replacement meal planning. The cost and boredom should stop her!

“oh, you said I could have the muffins”

No, you probably said "there are muffins in the bread bin" or something and only a CF would assume that meant they could eat all of them! I'd never go to someone's house and mooch around their kitchen for food, it's so rude!

Quite right @amusedbush no one would think that meant eat more a whole packet!

If she often turns up with DM who you don't mind feeding, it makes it harder and I probably would feed her/ not challenge on those days unless it is 3-4x a week!

You could try taking the Mickey back a smiley voice when mum is there "Oh Dsis you've turned up for lunch again as well, and it's your turn, off you pop to shops to buy us all some lunch or turn up with food for everyone next time as it's surely your turn!"

Or "next time Dsis you bring lunch and we can take it more in turns cos you eat over my house all the time. I really don't mind Mum but it's getting expensive always feeding you so muchas well, (especially since you eat what's for our tea as well when I'm not looking)"
It works best if you can do it with a jolly voice and a cheeky expression!

Or when she turns up uninvited without mum and outstays over lunchtime- send her away as soon as she starts hinting she's hungry, with a "so off you go now home for lunch as you've said you're hungry, I've got things to do"

This time when she said she wanted to come round I tried to hint, sort your own lunch out before you come round. I said we’re (me and 1 year old) are just having lunch so come round after that. She obviously didn’t get the hint.

She never turns up uninvited, although most of the time it’s her asking if she can pop round and I agree.

I guess the main problem is I rarely go round her house as I’m much busier having a one year old so rarely have the chance to hint back!