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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To use equity from the house to pay for private education

151 replies

Windsweptly · 19/07/2018 20:53

Just what the title says really! Is it mad or unreasonable to consider using some equity from the house to pay for private education? Is this something people do or am I just being naive / ignorant? Any big downfalls to doing this? Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 21/07/2018 08:32

What does a “better education” mean?

Loads more cultural capital than most state schools can afford to provide? Well yes of course. But kids whose parents can afford private school have loads more cultural capital than those that can’t anyway.

Better exam results? Clever well supported kids get good exam results wherever they are.

It always seems to me that the kids who would benefit most from what private education offers are the ones who couldn’t, in a million years, ever get to go.

Oliphantintheroom · 21/07/2018 08:44

Haven’t read the whole thread yet windsweptly but agree with your comment about attitudes to learning being formed in primary. My ds went to a brilliant little state primary , wasn’t rated as outstanding or anything but they really encouraged a love of learning.
We moved mid way through Juniors so he attends another school now but he has thrived and is a well rounded individual because, I believe, he had that good start.

I totally would use the equity if you can then afford the new mortgage price, you still have 7ish years to save for a private senior school place!

Winebottle · 21/07/2018 09:37

It depends on how much you value private school and your overall financial situation.

There is nothing wrong with borrowing money as long as you can afford to pay it back.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. The schools are probably better but not by enough to justify the price.

mumknowsbest47 · 21/07/2018 10:11

Going to private school does not guarantee happiness. You will be up against the cleverest of kids and families where money is no object. So if your dad is bright in her state primary school it will be nothing compared to some in her next school. And also lots of families will be filthy rich and no matter how much you are told it is not the case, your dd will feel she doesn’t have the same as everyone else. I know this from experience. My dad was exceptional in her state primary school and excelled in sport. We took her out and went private for secondary. Firstly, her level of academic excellence was ok there but she had to study extra hard to keep up, where her friends in state secondary quietly plodded along and excelled without the pressure. We received a scholarship and although we were very comfortable financially, it didn’t even compare to the families who literally had money to burn. And girls are much worse at letting everyone know daddy is minted! Think carefully, you are investing in something that just may not be worth it. Why don’t you move to where the state schools are excellent and keep all the equity in your property. Don’t put pressure on dd Smile

mumknowsbest47 · 21/07/2018 10:11

dd

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 21/07/2018 10:32

For me the ability to go private just provides more choice of schools - you certainly can't guarantee that every private will be a better fit for your child than every state school.

I think the generic advantages that private schools have over state schools is that there is in general better facilities - none of the state primaries near me have any outside space that isn't concrete (even though it's a rural area) so no climbing trees, digging in mud etc. There are generally more opportunities for sport and music (funding cuts in the state sector have hit the local schools hard). A greater variety of extra curricular in general. Since they're not forced to follow the NC they can be a bit more flexible in what the students are taught so for example they can tailor the history curriculum to the interests of the particular class and they can spread out or accelerate the curriculum depending on the abilities of the individuals.

Mainly a convenience for parents but most private schools have flexible after and before school care - no waiting lists just ring up on the day etc. Again small numbers so kids feel really well looked after rather than being dumped in a big over crowded room.

There is less of a mix of demographics in the families. This is both an advantage and disadvantage. Most families value education and this is reflected in the fact that most kids want to do well. The disadvantage is that it's just a bit narrow - not everyone is super rich but everyone is comfortable and it's seen as normal that people have a few holidays every year and big gardens and nice birthday parties etc.

You also usually get smaller class sizes. You can't guarantee that private schools will have better teachers though and you have to be careful when comparing results as the kind of children at private school tend to get above average results where ever they go. They do tend to get more personal attention than most state primaries (even this isn't guaranteed some state primaries have small classes too).

The disadvantages are that children come from a wider area - you don't get the walking to school together, playing together in the same parks during the summer holidays. People might live a 40 minute drive away. Since it's a private business the parents see themselves as paying customers and can try to influence the school that way so I think school gate politics can be amplified. I definitely think the competitiveness can be amplified too since everyone can afford music lessons, tuition etc. If you're academic/sporty/musical you're likely to stand out less which can be a good or bad thing depending on the child. If there turns out to be need for specialist SEN support private schools aren't always equipped to provide it. (Most have an SEN for mild dyslexia etc but not a 1-1 TA or more specialist help).

PinguForPresident · 21/07/2018 10:45

My parents re-mortgages to pay for me to go to private school for my GCSes and A Levels. It literally saved my life, as I was suicidal and horribly eating disordered due to the misery that my life at state comp was. But that was a very specific situation.

We may consider doing similar for our daughter at around the same time. She's on a full scholarship for her Junior years, but we know they won't be so generous for the Senior side. If we can siphon off some money to top up whatever scholarship she does get, we may do so. I absolutely wouldn't do it for her entire education though.

Desmondo2016 · 21/07/2018 10:48

I'm not motivated by private schools at all but am lucky to live in an area with very good 'free' primary and secondary schools. If for any reason I did need to consider private and I could finance it in the manner you've described I wouldn't hesitate to release some equity to fund it.

craxmum · 21/07/2018 12:27

I am doing the same in a couple of months. Selling a house (forced as a part of divorce settlement anyway), downsizing to renting a two bed flat, and putting my share of equity money towards school fees for my two.
British state schools just scare me to death (I admit I did not see them all, but what I saw was very depressing).

Jaxhog · 21/07/2018 12:33

Seems like a good idea if you can afford it ok. No reputable equity company will let you take out more than a certain percentage, and it's much better to do this than let them inherit when you die!

To those who think its a bad idea, surely investing in your child's education is a very good thing to do? Not everyone lives near a decent state school.

RealEstateNovelist · 21/07/2018 12:36

I would compare it to people who stretch themselves financially to buy in a good catchment area... it's not really any different.

Actually it’s completely different. If you spend your money on a house in catchment area that is an asset you own that will likely appreciate over time. Spending it on private education is just spending it. You may find it worthwhile but you’ll never get it back.

butterfly56 · 21/07/2018 12:53

Agree with RealEstateNovelist

My brother spent over £100K on his only child's education.
The upside is Only child has now got a top job in their late 20's.

The downside is the Only Child has cut all contact with his parents and wants nothing to do with them... My brother and his wife are distraught about it all and didn't see that one coming when they were a cute little kid! [shocked]

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 21/07/2018 12:55

Financially stretch to afford catchment area.prices in good catchment are inflated
There is a correlation between school catchment and inflated price
As real estate says houses increase in value eg there’s a return.a financial gain
There is no direct financial gain to the parent in sending child to private school
For the private school pupil,over their adult life their salary and outcomes are projected to be Higher than non private educated peers

Cheerymom · 21/07/2018 13:10

Private school fees just the beginning, you are buying into a culture of lots of cash, kids with many homes, exotic holidays, expensive trip etc. With outstanding local schools I wouldn't, to babe a local outstanding school is amazing. use it.

movinggoalposts · 21/07/2018 13:18

I wish I had.

And don’t worry that everyone has three homes and a fleet of cars, there will be plenty of parents who aren’t like that.

MadameJosephine · 21/07/2018 15:21

I’d do it in a heartbeat OP. I can’t believe people are describing your situation as ‘living precariously’ because you are only putting £150k down as a deposit on your next house rather than £200k! I’ve seen posts on here before where people have spent that much on a new kitchen

My DD is at an independent school where the fees sound similar to yours. I pay £2200 a term but that includes before and after school fees. I am a single parent and work as an NHS midwife so not rich by any stretch of the imagination and the idea that everyone who pays for their child’s education drives a flash car and goes on exotic holidays it certainly not true at DD’s school.

MadameJosephine · 21/07/2018 15:24

Oh and I totally agree with you about it not being about exam results. For me it’s about making DD’s school experience the best it can be and fostering a love of learning and her current school is the best fit for her. Her brother went to a state school, got 4 A*s at A level and is at one of the best universities in the world so I’m well aware that good results can be attained without private education.

cjcghana · 21/07/2018 18:11

A different perspective. I'm British but have lived in Ghana West Africa after for past 13+ years. Only the poorest kids go to state school. Everyone else pays private. In my last job as HR Director for an international manufacturing company I had workers earning less than £100 a month who sent kids to private school... yes there's obviously different classes of private schools but the belief here us that you pay for the best education possible. My soon to be 5 year old goes to a local Montessori School.. nothing special and is more advanced than a seven year old back in the UK.. . Sooo I say go for it my love... and sorry for waffling

cjcghana · 21/07/2018 18:13

Oh and by the way I was brought up in a council house in the north of England. Luckily got into grammar school so certainly wasn't born with silver spoon in mouth...

VladmirsPoutine · 21/07/2018 18:48

Hats off to you cjcghana it must have been utterly exhausting to goose-step your soon-to-be 5yo across the entire UK to meet with every single 7yo whilst carrying all myriad of assessments, programmes, designs and tests. I personally couldn't manage it so I'll just stick to not making vacuous blanket statements.

Bitlost · 21/07/2018 19:43

I’m curious about how many years 50k will cover. Where I am, it would just about cover 3 years.

My DD started at pre prep the year before reception. I could afford the fees at the time and still could today. But we moved her to a state school for reception and haven’t looked back. I feel less worried and more financially secure. When we were in private, I kept thinking that it was all well and good but what if I were to become ill? DD would have to cope with that and changing school. In our lovely state school, I feel we are part of the community come what may.

DD has flourished. She has a very good level in maths, is a voracious reader and has recently made it on a swimming squad with many children from our local private schools.

Like you I could take equity out and kill the mortgage. I just don’t see the point.

Twofishfingers · 21/07/2018 19:53

You are missing a few costs from your calculations. It's not just the school fees that you will have to pay for. Our local private schools have very expensive uniforms - for every possible sport - the school trips are eye wateringly expensive, and the kids have to have a laptop.

And there's the pressure as well. I know families that have been told that if the child didn't get mark X in maths they would lose their place at school so the parents have to pay for private tuition on top of the regular school fees, which are just over £17k a year.

Both DSs are in state schools and are very happy, however it's a very good state secondary. If it was shite I might have a different view and move!

CookieDoughKid · 22/07/2018 10:00

Majority of our intake to grammar school near me comes from state Primary. I'd say at least 80%. I would question what you are getting 50k for....just for nice grounds and smaller classes? That isn't worth 50k to me. How long will it take you take out pay that back? State secondaries however are much worse off in many ways and that is where your money can have a decent return on quality education. I'd private at Secondary imo

keletezup · 22/07/2018 18:48

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VladmirsPoutine · 22/07/2018 18:50

Was it a SuPeR cOmPuTeR keletezup? Grin