To use equity from the house to pay for private education

[Windsweptly]

Just what the title says really! Is it mad or unreasonable to consider using some equity from the house to pay for private education? Is this something people do or am I just being naive / ignorant? Any big downfalls to doing this? Thanks in advance!

Also, the private primary can't guarantee your child passing the 11+ with enough points to get into a good grammar. This happened to my friends son and now she is stuck working very hard on night shifts to pay secondary school fees. Honestly, I'd keep the money for secondary options and extension of primary learning. Kumon etc.

We have help from my mum during the school hols as it becomes problematic outside the state school holiday dates. For example no holiday club is currently open yet and not until next thursday. Ours get 3 and a half weeks off at easter and the same again at xmas. And then all the normal half terms (except we have 12 days off in october too).
On the other hand if you can speak to the school about paying in a lump sum you will be negating the % increase year on year, so may be very worth it for prep if you can manage all the other bits.
You will always get an end of term bill, look closely at what is included for example lunch/after school clubs some might be free others not. And after school care, until what time etc vs cost. Just really look into it, speak to the bursar and do your sums.
Good luck.

Of course, it's always a worry if circumstances change over time. Also, I am aware we could use that money for holidays etc which would be great family memories. I'm totally undecided, will read back through all the helpful advice given and try to think about it logically! Thanks everyone!

Thanks again.

Ah, good luck with your decision. It's a nightmare trying to find the right education choices for your child.

If your daughter has no problems now and if the local school is good, then I'd send her there. I'd only consider changing to private if there was a problem with her or the school.

It's generally believed that it's a waste of money paying for private education for junior years, particularly if you don't continue with it for secondary. It's secondary where most problems arise - if you've spent your money already, what would you do then?

private secondary and apply for bursary / scholarship
Be mindful bursary/scholarships are rarely full fees. Read up on all that now. Don’t assume bursary amount
Although there was an AMA poster who said she was adept at getting bursaries, take a look or Message her

One thing I would strongly advise you to think about very carefully - private prep schools are preparing pupils for private secondary schools, most of which for boys start at 13, whereas state grammars / secondaries start at 11. They will not prepare them for the state 11+. So you will have the 'choice' of applying for a place at 11, without any exam prep or waiting until 13 and then (if moving to state secondary) taking a chance on places being available, breaking into existing friendship groups and having to make GCSE options choices on the basis of 2 terms experience with the school.

The advantage of private secondary is the wider choice of subjects offered at both GCSE and A level / IB and also their willingness / flexibility of small groups for subjects. My DD was in a group of one for her German A level in her private school - unlikely a state school could offer this.

Received wisdom is to invest in private secondary rather than private primary. Private secondaries are geared to receiving children from state primary and do a lot to engender learning skills, self confidence etc. If you have the money to spend - I would strongly urge you to consider private secondary over private primary.

Oh also worth mentioning things are slightly different for girls and boys - more private girls schools start at 11, whereas boys and co-ed start at 13.

DD did win an academic scholarship which was worth 10% of fees and although there were bursaries, they are targeted at a very low income - and again for your standard private school will only pay part of the fees. And don't forget the 'extras' in private schools - music tuition, sports tours, drama & dance classes and the ever present Saturday school!

Also a plea from my DP - he says this to everyone considering private education - never send a child as a day pupil to a boarding school.....

No way on earth would I remortgage for a few years primary education when you have good state primary schools. Not a chance.

This thread drops up from time to time and I try to tell people DD, a very average comprehensive kid ended up at a RG uni with kids whose parents had spent up to 18k a year for a private education.

do you really think it will make that much difference?

Titan - my Dad lost his employment whilst I was in private education and the bursar was willing to make a payment plan that involved a lower monthly figure rather than a lump sum 3 x a year of thousands each time.

I think unless your child is naturally bright doesn’t need coaching or tutoring then I say go for it but

If you have a big standard child don’t bother going private

I think you'd be mad to remortgage for school fees when you have outstanding state schools. Utterly mad.

DPotter...out of interest re your last paragraph...why? Genuine question. My school had boarders but the daygirl ratio was higher than them. Is it an exclusion thing?

It would totally depend on how much you can afford it and how much better the private school you're thinking of is to the state school on offer. In principle though I think it's fine.

I went to private school. I have five sisters and brothers who did not so I can compare my experience to theirs.

There is no point in private education at primary level in my view. It is worse than a waste of money; it is taking away funding from a private secondary education which is valuable. Don't do it.

At secondary, although the class sizes were smaller, the teachers generally better and the facilities in a different league to what my siblings had, the real difference was around exposure. There were no drugs, no teen pregnancies (not saying you get these in all state schools before anyone has a pop) no scrotey families, no dramas. It was a seat of learning with maybe some Harry Potter style high jinks.
Of the six of us I was the only one to go on to university. In those days, only about 10% went to university so things were different.

I would. I had a disastrous time in a state primary and it set my ideas about school and education for quite some time, so I agree that those first years are really important.

I would compare it to people who stretch themselves financially to buy in a good catchment area... it's not really any different.

Day pupils in boarding schools - if it's a boarding school the school day is planned for pupils who are there 24/7, so to join in everything the day pupils have to stay extended hours, so end up either missing out on activities or literally coming home just to go straight to bed. Many of the girls who went to DD private primary went to a locally boarding school as day pupils but don't come home until 8.30-9pm at night so don't have any family time at all. And unless they go in on Saturdays and Sundays - they miss out on a lot of the extension stuff as well, for example drama and dance are on Saturday mornings, sports on Saturday afternoons, which is great for the boarders - not so good for the day pupils and their families.

I suppose it depends on whether it's a day school with a few boarders or a boarding school with a few day pupils. The particular school I'm thinking of is about 50:50.

A few comments as we have thought about private education previously but have gone down the state route and invested our ££ in a bigger house.

Fees are only the start of expenses at private schools. Uniform costs more, there are more expectation re trips / activities / charity work and they all cost extra ££
Friendships can be more difficult as children drawn across wider geographical area - be prepared to spend lots of time ferrying kids around
There is a generally a culture of work hard / play hard which does lead to expectations of achievement. While this works for some children, it doesn't for all.

Understand your comments about outside space and nicer environment though. The school DC goes to has better outdoor facilities than the 'better' school a few miles the road and actually we've found this hugely beneficial.

My brother bought a HMO property for postgraduate students and their rent pays the school fees.

You need to factor in all the extras, trips, clubs, extra childcare to fund longer holidays, more expensive uniforms. Find out what the fee increases have been over last few years. With all that can you still afford it?

Also depends on your age, whether you can afford to pay the extra back etc.

Will you be able to afford secondary private with fee increases factored in? Are you eligible for a bursery etc?

That all said, if private schools were as cheap as that where I live and I only had one kid, I'd be tempted to do that as well.

Don’t do it. I have two girls and have just moved them from supposedly one of Scotland’s best private schools to a prep school in a different country where the fees are considerably less. My honest opinion is I might as well have put the close to 100k in a hole in the garden. There were some positives but standard of teaching simply not worth it. I wish I had spent the money on nice holidays and tutors if needed. No way would I remortgage to do it. Mental.

@Fruitforpud

Your old bursar sounds lovely. Unfortunately the private schools I attended were not so kind.

When I was in year 7, one girl had to leave just one term in after her dad lost his job - she ended up at a failing school and was horrendously bullied. I lived in fear of my dad being made redundant for the rest of my school career - it was honestly my worst nightmare.

My younger sister went to a different school, that tried to help families in financial difficulty - they had a fund that they asked all parents to pay £50 extra a year to contribute to, which they would use to help students whose parents couldn't afford to keep them there. However, it would only pay for them to get to the end of the academic year if they were year 7/8/9, or for them to finish the 2 year GCSE or A level courses if they were older.

Trigger warning: suicide

And I knew of one family where the father was asked to resign after getting into trouble at work. He had three kids at private school and couldn't face having to pull them out, so he killed himself so that they'd get his life insurance payout to fund the fees.

It is unfair to ask opinions about something like education -there are some hard held beliefs and experiences. Do what you think is right and don’t financially complicate yourself unnecessarily.

The problem is often not the school and the fees but the lifestyle and demands placed on parents and expectations placed on the kids. Private school was good for my daughter but the schools demands and expectations on my son just didn’t match regardless of the big fields, small classes and opportunities offered ...