Inappropriate language in the office

[NuttyMacaroon]

to want my line manager not to punctuate his sentences with "fuckin" this and "fuckin" that and drop the c-bomb into his conversations quite casually. His boss made a joke via email regarding something to do with "muff" and then apologised to female staff with the reasoning that it was meant to be a private conversation (basically just to the male members of staff), to which my line manager thought it hilarious to point out that it would be ok if he had used the correct terminology ie vagina. (I should have corrected him to "vulva" but fear that would only make things worse 🙄). Ffs, I've been here 2 weeks, am already looking at other jobs online. Am I being precious or is this normal workplace behaviour? I am not normally easily offended, this is just wearing really thin

Sounds immature and pathetic. Is it sales?

The swearing doesn't bother me, I work in construction and am so used to it, the sharing of 'jokes' about vaginas would

Depends on where you work. The launguage used in any kind of press or media office I've worked in would make a sailor blush. Other places I've worked have been very tame indeed.

Yep, the swearing is one thing, the sexism is another entirely. You aren’t going to be able to do anything about this workplace culture. It sounds like it’s been going on for a long time and everyone else has accepted it. You’re going to have to move on if it bothers you unless you have an amazing HR department calling the shots.

Swearing wouldn't bother me (as long as it's not done in front of clients/public) but it sounds like there's a bit of a an immature "lads" culture between some of the staff there - that and the sexist jokes would annoy me.

Seems like you’re easily offended in my opinion. As long as it’s not aimed at you in an aggressive manner and you don’t feel sexually harassed, why is it an issue? I’ve got a real potty mouth and use swear words in general conversation regularly without even realising it but it doesn’t offend people as they are aware that it’s not meant to offend.

Hi yes I agree, immature and pathetic. Sexist too. Small company, no HR. Even at this early stage I get the impression that I would have the mickey taken out of me if I said anything (mostly on the internal messaging system). And that my line manager wouldn't like it! He was manager of no one until I came, the previous people left. It's an IT department.

Seems like you’re easily offended in my opinion. As long as it’s not aimed at you in an aggressive manner and you don’t feel sexually harassed, why is it an issue? I’ve got a real potty mouth and use swear words in general conversation regularly without even realising it but it doesn’t offend people as they are aware that it’s not meant to offend

I have a sewer mouth and know that in my teaching workplace it is not OK. They are not snowflakes, They know the words, they don't use them.

Query1 yes I am inclined to agree, I think I am being too sensitive. I do swear myself, although never at work. However I think I have detected an undercurrent of mysogyny, with my line manager in particular. He was making jokes about a previous employee earlier, saying that even after buying girls dinner, he still couldn't entice them back for "copulation" FFS! And boasted that he will allow his wife to have kids if they stick to a diet - "if she wants kids, fine, but I want a skinny wife"

You’re being precious about the swearing. The sexist language, however, is disgusting and it’s a shame you don’t have anyone you can complain to. I’d also be looking for another job.

My workplace is not like that. People might sometimes swear in casual conversation between colleagues but not often. The sexist stuff is awful. I would be very wary of working anywhere that does not have a proper hr dept or rep.

No-one should ever have to hear/read swearing in the workplace.

FFS.

I don’t think you are being precious at all. Mive on as soon as you can.

The frequency of the swearing is inappropriate and the sexist comments even more so.

If you can't complain to anyone (would unions/ACAS advise on this kind of thing?), I'd just look for a new job. It sounds like a horrible environment.

I speak as someone who in my most recent job used to be able to walk into my boss's office and say things like 'Boss, I'm sorry, I've fucked up.' And he could and would come to me and say the same kinds of things. So I'm not an oversensitive snowflake by any means, and I don't believe in zero tolerance to swearing at work.

My mate, HR in an IT firm, has literally just had to fire a bunch of blokes for this very issue. Not the swearing, but the misogyny. It's misuse of company tech to say this crap via messenger. It also creates a hostile workplace culture for female staff - it doesn't matter if you weren't supposed to read this stuff, they feel it's okay to message each other like this, and to speak like this in front of you. At mate's company, they now suspect that these men were undermining female managers, and not bothering to properly train/assist female staff. "Women don't fucking get it", etc. This has led to good employees leaving.

As you have no HR, and it's clear that this culture is acceptable and you're just supposed to suck it up, I'm not sure what you can do bar look for another job. In the meantime, screenshot everything dodgy, then you can hand it over at your exit interview.

I really don’t like swearing. No need for it most of the time and I wouldn’t like it if I constantly heard it at work

YANBU. I'd want to leave too.

Who is responsible for your hiring? Do you have a MD or similar?

I don't know how much you need the job, or how much they need you, but could you possibly go to them and suggest you're thinking of leaving... you're a professional and there are some inappropriate behaviours going on that you don't want to be associated with?

If not, definitely spell it out in your resignation why you're leaving - give specific examples of the sexism etc - and move on to a much better job.

I've just left a company like this.

Was awful. Constant lad banter loaded with misogyny.

Worst moments:

Boss about heavily pregnant staff member
'What a waste of a body'

Boss to male sales team member
'If you sell this product I will personally get Christine Bleakly to come and suck you off in the town centre'

To top it off they really had no idea what they were doing!

I didn't last long there.

It's strange - I've been out of the office working world for 10 years. 10 years ago this would have been normal and, although it would have made me feel uncomfortable, i would have just sucked it up. I feel this place probably thinks they've done me a favour as they took me on after a career break (they offered me the bottom salary in the range the ad said, and I stupidly accepted, feeling grateful to have been offered it at all). I have since found out they have failed to recruit for the additional roles and I have way more experience than others that have been and gone. In this day and age I can't believe it still goes on. I deserve better. Spurred on by you all - I have just applied for another job. Thanks for the encouragement.

Yuck. That's horrible and not normal in the places I've worked and visited when working. Good luck for your new application.

Oh Ratbaggy that's awful!! Good for you on leaving such an awful environment.

I wouldnt like it at all. I just think its not very nice tbh. The office I work in noone swears at all, some may swear in convo at lunch which is fine, but not in the actual office.

Get out quick! Any recruitment agents in your field that could help with identifying a new job quickly? Don’t let your probation period expire I work in quite a male sector and used to live with “IT guys” and what you’re describing is worse than I’ve encountered (so far!).

Just seen that you have indeed applied! Well done. Fingers crossed you can quit and start immediately