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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are any of your children REALLY LOUD?

32 replies

AjasLipstick · 19/07/2018 09:12

I'm asking because a friend of mine has a DD (aged 8) who is so frigging loud, it's putting me off having her over! She has two smaller sisters and they're not loud at all!

She SHOUTS all the time. Whatever she's doing or saying it's in a tone of voice suited more to a soccer pitch.

What can I DO? I say "Indoor voices please!" and "Keep the voices down please!" and so on but she can't seem to regulate her voice at all!

She's a nice child..my DS and DD love her but even they say "Gosh she's so loud after a while! She hurts me ears!"

Why are some children this way? I've been at events and seen her parents benignly smile at her when she's like this....they're not especially loud ...they don't seem to notice her voice or say anything/

OP posts:
UpstartCrow · 19/07/2018 09:13

Has she had her hearing tested?

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 19/07/2018 09:16

Yes and I know that for sure because I asked a while ago. I pretended it was just out of interest....but it was my first thought too! I thought she must be hard of hearing and struggling. But no. Her ears are fine.

She's a very bright girl...a gifted artist and storyteller as it happens...sociable and lovely but her voice! My God!

OP posts:
BlueAir · 19/07/2018 09:19

If she had her ears last tested as a baby she may have had some hearing loss since.

yakari · 19/07/2018 09:19

My DS! He has no hearing problems and genuinely doesn't think he's loud.
I've spent 12 years saying 'inside voice', 'turn it down, etc. He's slowly getting to the point where he starts loud but then reduces - although at that point he swears he's whispering 🙄

DD always has been a perfectly normal sound level.

Madamswearsalot · 19/07/2018 09:19

Not entirely the same but my DS who is 16 months is incredibly freakin' loud! In a Makes my ears ring way when he cries or shouts in excitement. My 5 yr old DD can't reach that volume, even when she is extremely vexed by DS.

I honestly think it's physical - however it works, vocal chords, lung capacity etc.

I do tell him when he's too loud and have to remember that raising my voice in response really doesn't help!

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 19/07/2018 09:19

No not as a baby....I asked recently.

OP posts:
UpstartCrow · 19/07/2018 09:20

If its not her hearing and hinting hasn't worked, you either have to tackle her about it or suck it up.

BuntyCollocks · 19/07/2018 09:20

My DD, but she does have issues with her ears. Even when they’re not too bad it’s now a habit. It’s bloody horrendous.

52FestiveRoad · 19/07/2018 09:23

My DD is loud. She does not notice it the rest of the bloody continent does though I don't have any answers either, other than constant reminders to pipe down.

Loonoon · 19/07/2018 09:26

My nephew is. He can’t talk below a shout. I sometimes have to leave the room as it makes my ears ring so much I feel nauseous.

Padparadscha · 19/07/2018 09:28

They don’t seem to grow out of it unfortunately. My partner speaks really loudly, but gets really irate when asked to pipe down. He genuinely can’t hear how loud he is. My grandmother used to call it ‘having a bell by each tooth’.

Mousefunky · 19/07/2018 09:32

My DD shouts instead of talks at home yet at school she is as quiet as a mouse. She’s very, very loud. No hearing problems, I think it’s a middle child thing tbh- she’s trying to make sure she’s heard above the others Grin.

HugeAckmansWife · 19/07/2018 09:41

DS (8) is like this. He did have his hearing checked as a toddler because ironically he really doesn't like overly loud noise but his vocal volume is several notches above what is needed in normal conversation. It's not naughtiness just genuinely his natural volume. I do ask him to quieten down all the time but nicely, not in a telling off kind of way.

DoJo · 19/07/2018 09:42

Both of mine are incredibly loud- they tend towards the excitable and I find myself shushing them even when we're outside sometimes because of the sheer volume they can muster between them.

That said, there probably are times when people would think we don't notice or don't tackle it, but only because it's so soul destroying to be on their cases all the time when they genuinely don't realise that they are being loud, so there are times where we just have to let it ride.

50shadesofgreyismylaundry · 19/07/2018 09:45

DS has a very loud voice, it's just the way he is. Volume up to 11.

ClinkyMonkey · 19/07/2018 09:47

DS is 10 and has no hearing issues, but he talks as if he's addressing a crowd of thousands without a microphone. I am constantly having to remind him to turn the volume down. Entire supermarkets have been treated to his views on a multitude of subjects (mostly Minecraft) and there is nothing I can do!

SleepingBooty · 19/07/2018 09:47

I have a loud one, despite asking for quiet. She had hearing problems and had her glue ear fixed last year but her volume seems to be ingrained.

ToothTrauma · 19/07/2018 09:50

I was. I spent my entire childhood being told to stop shouting. I wasn’t shouting!

Funnily enough now I’m a grownup I hate all noise Grin

NataliaOsipova · 19/07/2018 09:51

I noticed when both my children started pre school at 3 that they became noticeably louder. I think it's to do with being in an environment where you feel you have to be louder to be heard. Is this little girl in a particularly noisy class at school? Does she spend a lot of time in communal settings versus being at home (e.g. After school club/weekend activities)? I think this can make a difference to their idea of "normal" noise levels.

StorminaBcup · 19/07/2018 09:53

My grandmother used to call it ‘having a bell by each tooth’ - brilliant Grin

Ds1 is loud. Always has been, he was nicknamed the lion because his cry was so loud - more like a roar and at 4 he's still as loud. We've tried indoor voices / shushing / lowering our voices to encourage him to mimmick. I have also resorted to shouting at him to be quiet when it's all got a bit much - the irony! I was going to get his ears tested but he can hear us perfectly fine when he wants to.

Ds2 is not a shouter - except for one ds1 is around. I really envy those with lovely quiet children!

ClinkyMonkey · 19/07/2018 09:54

My son is like yours Huge and dislikes loud noise himself. This is becoming much less of an issue as he gets older though.

NorbertTheDragon · 19/07/2018 09:55

I have 2 (out of 5) that shout at me and each other. I'm forever reminding them that I'm not deaf and they don't need to shout.

Neither of them have hearing problems, but they both do have ASD, and 1 also has ADHD.

WeShouldOpenABar · 19/07/2018 09:55

Dh is like this he swears he can't hear it, it goes right through me sometimes especially when he pipes up in a quiet room it startles me and worse it now startles the baby out of naps Angry but having dinner at his families house its loudest wins the right to finish a sentence, I never get to finish a sentence

Cornettoninja · 19/07/2018 09:59

My dd is fairly loud but she’s only 2.5 so it could go either way yet - ‘indoor voice’ is a regular phrase here.

Her dads the same but he does get excessive wax that needs regular syringing.

I think some people are just natural foghorns.

Ulaanbaator · 19/07/2018 10:02

I teach children and teenagers in small groups (intervention work) in a tiny room, so there is no background noise and no need to shout. I have come to the conclusion that some people are just incredibly loud. A couple of pupils I currently teach have voices like foghorns, even though I remind them that “I’m just here and can hear you clearly”. They apologise and lower the volume for a few seconds before reverting to their default shout. If they get excited about something, the noise is unbearable.