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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked not to eat food from elsewhere

274 replies

moogoom · 18/07/2018 21:30

In an independent burger bar tucked away in the corner. It is 7:30 and just finished some shopping with kids in tow. DD has decided burgers are another thing she cant eat anymore so we quickly called next door for a kids sandwich and popped back to previous tucked away seat. The owner comes along and tells me to ask my daughter to put the sandwich away if we are eating in. But loudly so the customers can hear, which they all did. So would you call this pernickety behaviour or her prerogative?

OP posts:
Sunnymeg · 20/07/2018 18:02

It is a health and safety issue, as they can't guarantee that the food or drink you have brought in is up to standard and will not cross contaminate their food.

81Byerley · 20/07/2018 18:07

I can't believe you'd think it was OK without asking first.

happypoobum · 20/07/2018 18:08

YABU.

I am amazed anyone would think this is OK tbh.

chemenger · 20/07/2018 18:13

It’s a simple case of using your words. Hiding in a corner and sneaking the food in rather than explaining the situation is always going to put the owner’s back up more than asking nicely. I had a very fussy child but her fussiness was consistent, changing what she would eat from day to day would have driven me to distraction. She would have eaten from the menu, even if it was just fries or a drink then had something after.

greenlanes · 20/07/2018 18:20

You dont have to eat out. I think you were being very rude. Just because your child is fussy/ whatever doesnt mean that gives you the entitled right to eat food from elsewhere.

When I grew up it was really expensive to eat out (very few poor quality take aways, no decent pub food, no coffee shops at all). I am still well within working age so it wasnt that long ago. My mum and dad managed - it's called taking a picnic.

Ariela · 20/07/2018 18:20

I'd have asked if they could do a cold cheeseburger without the burger, if not I'd have asked if they'd mind if I went next door for her

Counsellingkids · 20/07/2018 18:25

How old is your DD and what do you mean by she has decided that'burgers are another thing she can't eat anymore'? Just concerned because that's how eating disorders start... lots of rules and new things each week that can't be eaten... I might be completely off the mark but worth raising with you...

borntobequiet · 20/07/2018 18:28

Chips. Why couldn’t she eat chips?
Anyway, YWBU.

PrincessPear · 20/07/2018 18:38

You dont have to eat out. I think you were being very rude. Just because your child is fussy/ whatever doesnt mean that gives you the entitled right to eat food from elsewhere.

And restaurants aren’t entitled to people’s business. There’s plenty of less arsey restaurants OP can go to.

FaveNumberIs2 · 20/07/2018 18:45

Yabu.

FaveNumberIs2 · 20/07/2018 18:46

Yabvu buy the separate meals and sit outside.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 20/07/2018 18:49

I have read all the updates and still think you’re being very unreasonable.
I have a daughter with SPD and ASD - she’s very particular about her food. We will always ask, as is basic good manners, if she can eat outside food (while we eat our meals) if there is nothing for her to eat there. Most people say yes. Some people say no. If they say no then leave.
The whole post is all a bit entitled to be honest

FatSally · 20/07/2018 19:14

The burger place owner is a fool either way.

We'll buy two meals from here and a third person will eat a sandwich from nextdoor OR we'll all go next door now and next time.

If I'd already paid op then no way would I have left, I'd just say we would leave when were done then never go back.

Passonthemessage · 20/07/2018 19:26

The burger place owner is a fool either way. I agree, clearly engaged mouth before brain - humiliating customers - not good business practice. OP was out of step, there is no doubt about that but the business owner handled it poorly.

Mrseft · 20/07/2018 20:26

I think asking first would have gotten you further, you were unreasonable and it’s cheeky but they might have understood if you explained first and were a bit humble about it. It is his place of business

riceuten · 20/07/2018 21:00

Totally fair. He would have been within his rights to sling you out. This is not "pernickety behaviour" by a long chalk

SidSparrow · 20/07/2018 21:16

YANBU Jesus! The bulk of your food came from them. It's only a sandwich. They could have said something quietly. Fuck em!

Moomoo06 · 20/07/2018 21:56

YWNBU I’ve done this loads with my daughter and never had a problem, if the rest of the group ordered from the burger place then I don’t see what the problem is, your daughter was going to sit in that seat whether she ate her sandwich or not so what difference does it make? They were being picky, shes a 9 year old child eating a sandwich in a hurger place for god sake, its not like you were in a posh resteraunt and she took a mcdonalds in!

Moomoo06 · 20/07/2018 21:56

*burger

Strongmummy · 20/07/2018 22:20

Please tell me you’re ordering food in this poor sod’s restaurant

echt · 20/07/2018 23:41

It's the man's business, he's not running a picnic shelter. I've seen restaurants/cafes make accomodations for real need, but there was none here, and the OP didn't ask.

Lozz22 · 21/07/2018 00:38

I’ve done it myself on family day trips out when I was vegetarian. Everyone wanted to go to kfc so I would go and get a veggie burger and chips from MacDonalds and take it back to kfc and eat it in there with everyone else!! I would have the sides from kfc and a drink but that would be it!! The only time during my 5 years of being vegetarian I could manage to fully order and eat in kfc was In Florida because they did Mac and cheese!! Plus the biscuits (scones) were pretty good too!!

Fairyhill · 21/07/2018 02:28

I ve ran cafes and we ve never been allowed to let people bring their own food in .... but if anyone’s ever asked me / if their child could just eat the only thing they ll eat this week and we did nt make it - I d have let them - having a daughter who at times barely ate anything that was on a menu was hard work eating out. But not all cafe / restaurants will let you - as it’s a health and hygiene issue

Greenyogagirl · 21/07/2018 02:51

Oh I love posts like this!
‘AIBU?’
‘Yes’
‘No I’m not, whinge moan, defensive mode’

Zommum · 21/07/2018 03:12

We are spoilt for choice with places to eat like that, the owner will know this. If they are rude to customers they won't be in business for long. There was a play cafe that tipped out children's drink bottles as it's a cafe and their policy is no outside food or drink. They got terrible reviews as they upset many parents. Yes the parents were wrong, but they will now spend their money elsewhere. You leave upset, write a post about it on Facebook, your friends comment, some will also have picky eaters and will understand, people talk. The burger joint will be under new management soon, just give it a few months and you can go back. Though unfortunately in the meantime the sandwich shop nextdoor will now be a lot more busy and you may have to wait for a table.

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