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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How long does it take to say thankyou?

48 replies

user7469322 · 18/07/2018 20:02

In brief, bought friends daughter a necklace as she’s leaving Yr6 tomorrow. Have not seen her mum since last week due to work. Asked when I’d definitely see her this week, no answer. Today was yr6 leavers assembly. Saw friends car at the school when I picked my child up. Left the envelope (necklace package very slim) on windscreen of friends car. Didn’t see friend and don’t by know how long after I left she herself left.

Package was left 5hrs ago and I’ve heard zero. Obviously there’s a chance someone’s pinched it but I very much doubt it as I left school when there wasn’t many parents left. You wouldn’t have seen the envelope if you hadn’t been looking.

Assuming friend has got the envelope, how long does it take to send a thanks text, or even would you bother at all? Friend has form for not saying thanks unless promoted and I don’t want to do that again .

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 18/07/2018 20:04

You left it five hours ago?! And you didn't actually hand it to them?

Give them a bloody chance.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 18/07/2018 20:05

If you are so anxious over receiving thank OP, why are you buying presents?

HarrietKettleWasHere · 18/07/2018 20:05

I think present giving is not very good for you.

VladmirsPoutine · 18/07/2018 20:07

I can't believe you left a necklace on the windscreen. WTF were you thinking?

In addition to that stop keeping a score card of 'thank-yous'.

Spam88 · 18/07/2018 20:08

Did you let her know you'd left it there?

dimplesmccutie · 18/07/2018 20:08

r u more concerend that she hasnt recived it or that she hasnt said thank you yet.

Original poster
user7469322 · 18/07/2018 20:09

I’m not anxious about getting thanks, and don’t mind giving gifts, I just want to know they’ve actually got it!

OP posts:
dimplesmccutie · 18/07/2018 20:09

maybe send her a text saying you had left it on the winscreen and did she recive it ok?

lazyarse123 · 18/07/2018 20:10

I actually agree with you. Five hours is plenty long enough. I think i would give up on the gift giving.

Original poster
user7469322 · 18/07/2018 20:10

@VladmirsPoutine

I left it there as I didn’t see friend, knew she was in the school and would then be going on to the school field.

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 18/07/2018 20:11

I think it was a weird place to leave it though.

Original poster
user7469322 · 18/07/2018 20:11

@lazyarse123

Thanks. I guess I’m just one to say thanks asap in general but that’s just me.

OP posts:
Original poster
user7469322 · 18/07/2018 20:13

@HarrietKettleWasHere

It’s not the first time I’ve done it and never had a problem. It was just a pink birthday card envelope so nothing special.

OP posts:
AiryFairy1 · 18/07/2018 20:21

“Hi friend, just checking DD received the little something I left for her on your windscreen today - really hoping it didn’t grow legs 🙏 have a great summer x”

Original poster
user7469322 · 18/07/2018 20:23

@AiryFairy1

I’ll leave it till morning and then probably text her similar to what you’ve put. Thankyou.

OP posts:
wellBeehivedWoman · 18/07/2018 20:24

If it wasn't somewhere that was obvious and you didn't text her to tell her it was there she might not have seen it?

Original poster
user7469322 · 18/07/2018 20:30

@wellBeehivedWoman

It was under her windscreen wiper, sticking up so she’d see it as she sat down. The way her car was parked it wouldn’t have been obvious to people walking about is what I meant by it wasn’t obvious to see.

OP posts:
Souledout · 18/07/2018 20:35

I would send a text.

MumMuuumMummy · 18/07/2018 20:45

I'd just text asking if she got it, not sure why it's such a big deal? "Hi just checking your daughter liked the necklace"

Also if this was only 5 hours ago maybe she's been busy sorting her children out and might text later or say thank you in person when she next sees you

Original poster
user7469322 · 18/07/2018 20:56

It’s getting on in the evening now and she’ll be going to bed soon as she gets up at 5am so I’ll leave it and contact her tomorrow morning when it’s her break.

OP posts:
Original poster
user7469322 · 19/07/2018 12:56

Decided to message friends husband to see if they’d found it, at midday today as was getting worried it had been taken. He said yes. Haven’t heard anything off friend though which has upset me a bit but hey ho.

OP posts:
NorthernSpirit · 19/07/2018 13:48

Poor manners on your friends part. Manners don’t cost anything.

HilaryBriss · 19/07/2018 14:06

Why are you messaging her husband? I don't get why you didn't send a text to your friend to just say that you had left it there or after, to ask whether she had received it?

FlowerPower25 · 19/07/2018 14:15

Perhaps she wants to say thank you in person, as PP have suggested, or is taking the time to write a card instead of sending a 5-second text?

StarUtopia · 19/07/2018 14:17

I'd just ask. I spent £10 on a birthday gift for a child in my daughter's class last week (we couldn't make the party but had already bought the present)

Gave present to child who was with childminder/possibly gran at the time , definitely not mum though.

I haven't had a thank you. Really pissed me off!!

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