To not see how I can follow the advice 'feed baby what ever you are having'?

[ethelfleda]

Maybe I am being over cautious- 8mo is my PFB after all and am terrified of getting the weaning thing wrong!

But yesterday was the first time I've had him weighed since we started weaning him. All fine - perfect weight gain etc but the HV is telling me that as long as I'm not giving him honey or full nuts, anything goes!

So... what about the piri piri smoked fish I had earlier in the week? And should I not make him separate portions of chilli with less spice in? Tonight's dinner is veggie omelette - should I just get over myself and give him some of that? Or carry on giving separate food to us?

I feel pretty stupid for finding this so difficult!

queenaravis I do have a carrier actually - I used to strap him to my front when cooking- facing out so he could watch what I was doing (obviously not using hot oil or knives in his reach etc!) Even though he is smallish for his age, it's still too hot to carry around 7.5kgs of baby

Bertrand that sounds like a nice evening! I think we all have to try and work our evenings as best we can. I've always wondered about the logistics when baby books recommend sitting to a home cooked meal together before starting an elaborate hour long bed time routine and still have them asleep by 6.30pm

Not always feasible no, DP and I do eat at about 6:00pm as we are home from work not long after 5. DS will eat a supper then with us after having dinner at nursery, then its bedtime 7:30 - asleep by 8. He's now 2.5 though!

My DD just ate bits of whatever was on mine or my husband's plate. I purposely didn't cook with salt, or if something really needed salt or spice I removed a small portion for her first. Surely you didn't have a plate of just spicy fish? They could have a bit of whatever you served it with. I think don't worry too much about food until they're over one as long as they're still drinking milk, food isn't overly important at this age. It's more about exploration and trying new things.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham I know you posted ages ago but that is such a good idea, thank you! I'm about to start weaning my 6 month old and was struggling to figure out how to make it work because I want to do BLW but she goes to bed before we have dinner (unavoidable - she loves her bed so couldn't stay up later and by the time DH gets home it's time for bed). This will work perfectly!

Ethelfleda- it helps that I’m a bit foreign so nursery tea, 6.30 bed times and the desire for a child free evening are completely incomprehensible to me!

Do you only have one?

Yes. For many reasons.

So I really cannot see how eating with parents at 7.30 then sleeping from midnight until midday could ever really work for the overwhelming majority of parents either working or not.

DH works across international time zones. I work full time now, and consulted when DD was a baby. We’re all night owls. I eat breakfast at lunch time and lunch somewhere between 4 and 5pm. Dinner is anywhere between 7 and 10pm depending on who is where and doing what. (I try to 16:8 as well). DD eats most of her packed lunch at 5pm. None of us eat breakfast in the morning.

Not conventional, but it can’t be. Society isn’t geared up for night owls, sadly.

I really regret not doing more of this but struggle through the week due to timings - only just get home from work/nursery in time to reheat something from the freezer for DS then DH and I eat when he’s down. I try to make sure we all eat together at the weekends and give him what we’re having.

A lot of what I feed him through the week I try to make similar to what would have - risotto, (mild) curry, stews (love my slow cooker for this) but due to DS’s dairy intolerance I’d probably struggle to give him the same as us every day.

Meh. I could never get worked up about it At 8 mo as long as it’s not over salty or spicy they can generally have the same as adults

But if you prefer your Child to have a separate meal that’s fine too

I tried to get into the habit of "add salt/soy sauce/stock/anything salty LATER, after removing a portion for baby." This worked for a lot of meals.

However, it doesn't work for all meals and it doesn't work for eating out. On those occasions, the baby had a banana, a jar, baby porridge, plus whatever bits of the meal had little/no salt.

I think trying to use table food where possible is a good principle for MUCH of the time, BUT if you try to stick to it rigidly ("ooh, babies must only ever eat the same food as me, baby-specific foods are bad!!") then you will end up creating a lot of extra work for yourself and have to really restrict what you eat etc. etc. It does not work for all types of food.

It's very easy really. It's a good idea to leave the salt out of vegetables for the whole family. Most foods are fine. If you were having spicy food eg curry I would feed mostly rice with a tiny smidge of curry to learn the taste. I disagree on banning peanuts but don't feed whole in case of choking. The only no no for me was sugar, totally unnecessary for all of us. Babies, this age need to experiment all the time with taste and texture, off your plate, finger food etc. Loads of waste but hey ho. Family food is the way forward. a good opportunity to look at your own diet?

We did BLW and never gave our DT's any puree. We have always cooked ourselves so were able to watch the salt. You have to be careful of carrot and apples, they can break off in chunks so cook them a little first. Apples are lovely cut into wedges and fried in a little butter and cinnamon.
Make some oat fingers cheaptastyandeasy.wordpress.com/oat-fingers/ Ours loved them when they were little, and still do now at nearly 7. You can put anything in them, fruit, grated veg, crushed nuts, whatever you want,

Not conventional, but it can’t be. Society isn’t geared up for night owls, sadly

Exactly, and that’s why many families are unable to keep the hours you do, and sometimes have to eat separately to their children.

Also, don't worry about the spice, you'll soon know if he likes it. DD loves spicy food and always has, spice, anchovies and olives are her favourites

@ethelfleda fair point re slings and the heat :) mine is so cranky at mo though I really have no choice but he's too young for back carries yet. I'm really looking forward to when I can stick him on my back, makes both carrying and food prep easier IMO.

My DD always ate what we ate. We cut down on salt in cooking so we all eat less salt now and we eat less processed stuff than we used to (didn't eat loads before but now virtually nothing processed). We didn't cut down on spice - there's nothing wrong with giving babies spicy food.

I weaned mine before the whole blw trend. I pureed stuff (first just veggies and fruit and then our meals or versions of) and fed them it. I also gave them finger food and bits of what we were eating. In my experience the finger food is good for encouraging them to feed themselves but they hardly eat anything. Same when I visited a friend who was blw exclusively. Baby basically played with the food and threw it all over the floor. I think about half a strawberry went in her mouth. She was still needing loads of milk as not actually getting any food in.

With my purees I could actually make sure food was going in and giving nutrition. The finger foods were just for fun / experience of food. As far as I can see babyled warning just means lots of mess and no nutrition going in.

We used to eat together at weekends but since xh and I ate after DD was asleep in the week she ate earlier and had different things.I used to freeze left over good from our meals,if suitable in icecube trays when she was very small to add different colours and flavors,lots of finger food.
Weekends were easier as we had homemade pizzas on a a Saturday and some kind of roast Sunday lunch time so much easier to eat together
Do what suits at this age,this just suited us as when I went back to work I got home later than DD could hang out for food wise and I didn't want to encourage snacking.

I absolutely hated BLW (and veg cooked with no salt is utterly bland so no thanks). I got a veggie weaning book and batch cooked from that. Much much easier to always have something in the freezer I could whack in the microwave and be ready in minutes if we were late coming back from somewhere (often). And back in those days I loved eating separately with DH once DD was in bed. I really struggled with the baby years so that’s what worked best for us.

I don't think spice hurts kids if it's not badly spicy ...

We got completely out of the habit of eating together. I have started eating with DS at about 6. If I'm not hungry I'll just sit with a cup of tea and some grapes or something and chat with him. I do wish DH would join in with this family mealtime as well, though. Maybe once the baby is eating with us that's something he'll want to do. I can't be arsed to persuade him TBH. Sitting and having a meal with a child is quite often the last thing I want to do in the evening as well but I think it's important to have a daily prompt to check in with one another.

With my purees I could actually make sure food was going in and giving nutrition. The finger foods were just for fun / experience of food

Great, that’s your experience. Mine ate far less when I attempted purées as they wouldn’t let the spoon near their mouths. Any that got in, they spat out. When I gave them ‘real’ food, they picked it up and ate it.
They’re all different, you see 🤷🏻‍♀️

If there are actual chillies in the dish and they are hot ones, I think it can burn their mouths but if you use ground chilli, chilli oil or cut it quite big/use a distinctive colour and take the pieces of chilli out they should be OK.

RiverTam, are you boiling your veg? Steamed, roasted or fried veg is delicious without salt!

I think the routine thing and eating cooked meals together etc means something has to give! We don't do strict bedtimes with DS either - I go and have an hour or two to myself after dinner and DH gets DS ready for bed and gets him off to sleep and cuddles him for a while. Then he brings him up to me (DS sleeps with me) and sometimes I'll venture back down if I'm not too knackered after I've given DS a feed.

The food is fun before one thing is interesting too. I felt more relaxed when I heard that but then I got told his iron stored will be running out now so who knows! There is so much information out there - much of it conflicting! It is so helpful to hear other people's experiences as have no friends or family with babies etc around me.