to ask her to pay more than us

[inneedofgoodideas]

My bf and I are planning on moving into a flatshare with a friend and trying to work out the fairest way to split the rent. We currently live in a houseshare and pay £100 more a month for our room as it is slightly bigger - this rent was decided by landlord.

However, if we move into a 2 bed flat where the bedrooms are the same size, should we split the rent down the middle?

I don't think it is fair for my bf and I to pay 1/3 of the rent each, when we are sharing a room and the friend has a room to themselves. However I realise we take up more room in the kitchen/living room, so am happy to keep paying £100 more (this would be approx almost 10% of total rent if that makes sense). I think this is more than enough (too much?)

what do you think? AIBU to expect to only pay half the rent when I'm only using half the bedrooms?

Obviously if our room ends up being much bigger then i understand we would pay more but most flats we have looked at have equal-sized bedrooms which basically means we are paying more so that the friend can get a cheap, big room.

we will split all bills between 3.

opinions pls!!

I owned a flat and had a flatmate and when it was proposed that my (future) DH moved in (and my flatmate was very happy with this as he liked some male company!) I immediately agreed for my flatmate to pay a lower rent.

60/40 or equal but definitely not half and half!

Thing is, you keep saying stuff like she "gets to have her own room" while you "have to share" and "only get half a room". You don't have to share a room, you're choosing to, because presumably you want to share sleeping space with your boyfriend. It's not the same as two women sharing a room where, presumably, they'd prefer they're own space and the only incentive is a reduced rent. 3 adults should split rent 3 ways. No ones forcing you to share a room with your boyfriend. If you want a whole room for your 1/3 rent then you should look for a 3 bedroom property.

If rooms are equal then split rent - 60/40
Everything else : 3 way split

They've chosen to share a room because they like doing that.

Not necessarily. They probably chose that because they couldn't afford a three bedroom flat. If they can, and if the flatshare can afford the increase in rent that will mean for her ('cause 1/3 of £1500 is more than 40% of £1000) , and they are being forced to split between three then they for sure should go get a three bedroom.

Pop that's a huge assumption right there. Only OP can tell us if that's the case.

OP...would you live with him even if you could afford something of your own?

If three of you live there you split it three ways.

My DH and I split ours in half.

It's fair.

Totally agree with the 60:40.

And split the bills 3 ways. I lived in many a flatshare over the years. This is the fair/normal way.

But there are still two people having to share that room, whether they are romantically involved or not is really not the point. They have half the space for wardrobe, desk, all of their bedroom stuff. Unless the room is significantly larger, they are getting less space per person. It's sort of irrelevant that they are dtd.

If the flatshare decided she needed to tighten her belt and had got a roomshare to come in and share her room, are you really suggesting that her rent should be reduced but not the couples??

Sorry, I am assuming that. I'm assuming that they are flatsharing at all as a money saving exercise but I don't think it's an assumption that if money is no object and three people are paying equal amounts three people should get equal space. And if they can't have equal space, becuase money restrictions don't allow it, then the people getting less space should pay less money.

I'd just pay 3rds. It's your choice to share a bedroom.

Pop I think it's fair to assume the couple are sharing through love...not want. Otherwise OP would just share with a room mate!

Have you had any discussion with your friend about this, OP?

If you do end up with rooms the same size and she doesn't mention making a change then for the sake of the friendship I think you should continue paying £100 more, because as you must have spotted, most people think a 50:25:25 split isn't fair to her, so even if she were to agree to it, she might well quietly resent it.

I really think that people suggesting it's 'fair' that the bills be split three ways must have not been in house shares for a long time (or ever).

It is completely normal to pay less if you have to share a room than if you have the whole room to yourself!

I think it's easier to see if you imagine a bigger house shate - 5 bedroom with 1 couple and 4 singles, for example. If you make each member of the couple pay the same as the singles, and then two if the singles got together as a couple - you'd have two couples paying the same amount but one gets one room and another gets two! Clearly unfair.

If this were a three bed flat and each person got a bedroom then you would split three ways and the fact that two of the people are a couple would be irrelevant (no one needs 'compensating' for living with a couple if you've hosen to do so).

It's also pretty normal to stagger the rent slightly in terms of room size so if some people have bigger rooms they pay more, so that should be taken into account if the couple are getting a bigger room. Leads to less resentment down the line.

most people think a 50:25:25 split isn't fair to her, so even if she were to agree to it, she might well quietly resent it.

I don't think you've read the op properly. She never suggests a 50:25:25 split, she says they are willing to pay 10 percent more.

Thing is, the bedrooms are only part of the flat.

What about seeing the rent as 50% shared living spaces. And 50% bedroom.

So £1000 split in two. Couple and single pay £250 each for bedrooms, and each individual a third of £500 each for shared space.

I did read it, Dandelion, but the OP says that she thinks the 10% extra "is more than enough (too much?)" so I assumed she was thinking of a half-and-half split, or something close to it. Apologies if that's not the case, OP (but I stand by my general point, which is that if you ask her to pay more, she may well resent it).

Brokenwing - usually not - the group sharing agrees to rent the flat for a set amount per month, how they divide that up is no concern of the landlord, as long as they get their full amount each month on time. It's a bit different if the landlord is setting up a multiple occupancy and rents out individual rooms in a shared house.

Thanks everyone - good to get opinions!
@flyingdandelionseed you’ve said it how I see it currently! I think it’s because I have lived in a lot of larger houseshares where you always pay per room, not per person.

Also just to clarify we currently live in a houseshare with said friend and others and want to move out as a 3, to a 2 bed.

Currently my bf and I pay £700 for our room so £350 each and friend pays £600. We are all currently happy with this agreement.

My boyfriend is a student so I pay the majority of our rent - hence why we have chosen to get a flatshare not our own flat. We share a room because we are in a relationship but in reality we have half the storage space etc as a few people pointed out.

We have said informally that we can each increase our rent by about £100 so would be able to get a flat for around £1400.

I wanted to get peoples opinions before we discuss it properly and start looking for flats :)

If there are two rooms, and couple and single agree which room is better, then I would hold an auction for that room, even if that room would obviously be better for the couple. (Say bigger and has en-suite.)

Say total rent is 1000, and it's agreed that 500 is for shared space and 500 for bedrooms. Instead of couple paying 250 for their room, start the bidding for the nicer room at 250 and go up in 5s until someone wins. Say couple wins by bidding 300 for a room with an en-suite, then they pay 150 each to share that and the single pays 200 for the less nice room.

I have no relevant house-share experience, I've no idea if people generally would agree to my auction idea.

60/40 Is the most sensible way to do it. If she then Gets a BF then 50/50 each couple, same if you break up then back to 50/50.

Why not 50/50 for the rent but then split the bills into 3.

Thanks all! Will discuss it soon - maybe 60/40 is best option