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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hit my neighbours car ... puzzled by his response ?

92 replies

Glitterzzz · 18/07/2018 12:27

Hey everyone. I feel awful! Came home from the school run this morning pulling into the space as normal, I got destracted and somehow ended up too close to the neighbours car already parked and hit the wing mirror ( so I thought )

Upon getting out I could see his car already has extensive damage to it on different spots but looking at my side of the car that has obvious long scratch marks in differential places where I’ve hit his and some scuffing to the front wheel I’m not sure how much of this I’m responsible for.

Some is clearly old, or in spots where it’s nit likely to be me. I knocked on his door apologised and explained that I’m sorry I’ve hit your wing mirror and I’m not sure of the damage.

He was super nice,,, didn’t want to come and see for himself and told me not to worry.

I am worried! The cosmetic damage to my car is my own fault and I will get it fixed in the coming weeks but having taken both photographs of his and my car and excluding what I believe to be the the older damage I can see I did more than just the wing mirror.

He has since come out and left in his car. I expected him to come knocking the door but nothing. I just feel it’s a bit ... odd ? I have admitted it was me and said shall we swap insurance ? And he was all smiles and said no problem forget it and have a good day...

Am I wrong to think he doesn’t have insurance 🧐 I still feel so bad for the damage I have caused

OP posts:
BlueBug45 · 18/07/2018 12:29

How old is his car?

If your car is over 8 years old and you have scraps and scratches on it already then more scraps and scratches aren't an issue.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 18/07/2018 12:30

If his car already had loads of knocks and scratches on it then it’s likely he’s just not bothered, and is genuinely not going to pursue any claim. He could well be scrapping it soon so it’s not a problem to him. I wouldn’t assume he has no insurance.

Sittingonaspindryer · 18/07/2018 12:30

With all the other damage, maybe he just doesn't care about a new scrape?
Or maybe he has taken it to find out how much it is going to cost to repair?

CointreauVersial · 18/07/2018 12:30

Some people really aren't precious about their cars, and a scuff on the wing mirror is probably neither here nor there to him, as he clearly has old damage on his car.

You've done the right thing, and if he doesn't want to take it further then that's up to him.

Just be thankful he's nice, and not trying to pin a whole stack of damage on you!

Bluelady · 18/07/2018 12:33

If his car's an old banger with lots of damage he probably doesn't care. Some people don't.

araiwa · 18/07/2018 12:35

im more puzzled that you are puzzled

his car is already knackered and a scratch on the mirror isnt gonna harm it much, but your first thought is he is unisured?

Thegirlinthefireplace · 18/07/2018 12:35

Until very recently I had a very old car with various scratches and dents. A man hit it coming out of his drive and left a new dent. I said don't worry about it and sent him on his way. I have insurance but genuinely didn't care about the new small dent, the car was not going to last much longer anyway. Presumably your neighbour is in similar position.

RhubarbRhubarbRhubarbRhubarb · 18/07/2018 12:36

I hit a woman’s car in a car park last year and she said pretty much the same. It was already damaged and she didn’t care. It was totally my fault and would have been covered by my insurance, but she said not to worry. I guess some people don’t really care. I wouldn’t either if my car was old and already scraped and dented.

specialsubject · 18/07/2018 12:38

any car over a few years old will be an instant write off due to the repair stitch up. He wont want to lose a perfectly functional car.

Thegirlinthefireplace · 18/07/2018 12:43

To add I was hoping that the man went away relieved there would be no consequences. I now feel a bit embarrassed that he may have assumed I had not insurance!!

GreenMeerkat · 18/07/2018 12:45

He probably isn't that bothered OP. Values his relationship with his neighbour more than his battered old car. My old car was like this. If my neighbour knocked it I don't think I'd be at all bothered unless they had severely damaged it. Sounds like it was just a little bump so he isn't too bothered. I certainly wouldn't worry, you've done the right thing by letting him know!

Noqont · 18/07/2018 12:46

He probably isn't bothered. I wasn't particularly when my old car got scratched and knocked. It had loads of scratches on it anyway.

Passmethecrisps · 18/07/2018 12:46

It’s a bit mean that you are now presuming he doesn’t have insurance. Our neighbour has hit my DH’s car roughly 4 times now. Each time he tells us it has happened and each time we say “please don’t worry about it”

The car is ancient and covered in bashes and scrapes. The fellow is a truly dreadful driver (he might manage better if he tried reversing without holding a can of Coke but hey ho)

Your neighbour has been kind. Accept it and move on

Original poster
Glitterzzz · 18/07/2018 12:48

Thanks. His car is older and there is damage in places all over it, my car is 2 years old and also has damage due to my mistake this morning. I’m
Not worried about that I guess I just expected to come out and have a look/ or come to my door when he must have realised it was more than just the wing mirror...

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 18/07/2018 12:48

Like your neighbour, i wouldn't be bothered by this op, so would have done the same as him.
I can't care less about scratches in my car, doesn't affect my life.
So, the nice thing to do is say don't worry.

Passmethecrisps · 18/07/2018 12:48

A colleague hit my car in the work car park. He caused a fairly large scratch across three panels and would have cost a fortune to repair. I told him not to be daft and not worry about it. Genuinely. For some people these things don’t matter. If it stops the car working that’s another thing. Maybe if we drove new cars it would be different.

Thebluedog · 18/07/2018 12:50

He probably knows his car is already damaged and really can’t be arsed. Some people aren’t that bothered about cars.

I rear ended a Mercedes in traffic, a small bump. I gave him my number and he laughed it off and I never heard from him again

BusterTheBulldog · 18/07/2018 12:51

I’m another that would probably be fine by this, my car is 10 years old and has a few scratches along the way. I’d probably have come to look at it but wouldn’t be fussed about insurance. Maybe he’s planning on getting rid of it soon?

Drummingisfun · 18/07/2018 12:51

My car was hit from behind by a cyclist who was too busy looking at his phone to realise that the traffic had stopped. He was going quite fast as it was downhill so his bike put a nice dent in my boot.
Luckily he was ok although he went flying.
I told him not to worry about the dent, the car was old and only worth about 50p anyway, certainly not worth repairing one more dent.

VickieCherry · 18/07/2018 12:52

My car is 10-ish years old and has a few scratches. I don't use it much and don't care what it looks like, it's fully insured and MOT'd but I wouldn't particularly care if it got a few more scratches - it's only cosmetic. I would be very annoyed if any damage rendered it unroadworthy, simply because I like to think about cars as little as possible!

thecatneuterer · 18/07/2018 12:52

I've always driven old cars too and have never cared about cosmetic damage. So in your neighbour's shoes I would probably respond in the same way.

ijustwannadance · 18/07/2018 12:53

The sides of my car are a scratched, dented mess, all due to other people not giving a shit when they bash it opening their car doors. Most damage done in work car park.
My car is old and there is no point being precious anymore as fixing a dent would probably cost more than car is worth!
As long as the damage is cosmetic, he probably doesn't care.

bleedingbanshee · 18/07/2018 12:53

My car is properly battered and a bit of cosmetic damage wouldn’t bother me at all - the scrap/banger racing guys won’t care when I move it on! I wouldn’t ever put someone through insurance drama unless they did proper structural damage to my car. Consider it his good deed for the day Grin

arethereanyleftatall · 18/07/2018 12:54

It would be nice of you to go round with a bottle of wine though or something, to say thank you for not claiming.

Pickleypickles · 18/07/2018 12:55

My car is scratched and dented all over (was like it when I bought it) if a nice neighbour came and told me they had added to scratches and were clearly mortified I'd just let it go too. You just have a nice neighbour Smile