Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hit my neighbours car ... puzzled by his response ?

92 replies

Glitterzzz · 18/07/2018 12:27

Hey everyone. I feel awful! Came home from the school run this morning pulling into the space as normal, I got destracted and somehow ended up too close to the neighbours car already parked and hit the wing mirror ( so I thought )

Upon getting out I could see his car already has extensive damage to it on different spots but looking at my side of the car that has obvious long scratch marks in differential places where I’ve hit his and some scuffing to the front wheel I’m not sure how much of this I’m responsible for.

Some is clearly old, or in spots where it’s nit likely to be me. I knocked on his door apologised and explained that I’m sorry I’ve hit your wing mirror and I’m not sure of the damage.

He was super nice,,, didn’t want to come and see for himself and told me not to worry.

I am worried! The cosmetic damage to my car is my own fault and I will get it fixed in the coming weeks but having taken both photographs of his and my car and excluding what I believe to be the the older damage I can see I did more than just the wing mirror.

He has since come out and left in his car. I expected him to come knocking the door but nothing. I just feel it’s a bit ... odd ? I have admitted it was me and said shall we swap insurance ? And he was all smiles and said no problem forget it and have a good day...

Am I wrong to think he doesn’t have insurance 🧐 I still feel so bad for the damage I have caused

OP posts:
Springersrock · 18/07/2018 12:55

As long as nothing was damaged that I actually needed - wing mirror knocked completely off or something, or something that could cause me to fail an MOT, I wouldn’t care either

My car isn’t pretty - dents and scrapes wouldn’t bother me in the slightest

Rhayader · 18/07/2018 12:57

You can check online (for free) if it was tax and MOT if you are suspicious. But it doesn’t seem massively suspicious if it’s already banged up.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 18/07/2018 12:57

I've told many people not to worry about denting my car. It's 18 years old and being written off, so it just doesn't matter.

When I get a new car if will be a very different matter!

FooFighter99 · 18/07/2018 12:58

I had the same thing happen where my elderly neighbour hit my car while he was trying to park. He only scuffed the bumper and he offered to get it fixed but I genuinely couldn't care less as my care is 9 years old and NOT in immaculate condition.

These things happen, don't worry about it - you did the right thing by letting him know

Shumpalumpa · 18/07/2018 12:58

He was really nice OP. Think of it as a reward for your honesty.

Don't assume it's because he has no insurance. That is very cynical.

Rascallsall · 18/07/2018 12:59

Yes me too. I have an old, somewhat battered car and have said the same when someone bumped into it in a car park. I certainly didn't want the hassle of getting multiple quotes and ending up with a pristine panel when the rest of the car certainly isn't. And just to be clear my car is has fully comprehensive insurance. I think it would be a nice gesture if you popped round with a nice bottle of wine for your neighbour.

Passthecake30 · 18/07/2018 12:59

I have a dented/scratched car too, so unless you cracked or took the wing mirror off I wouldn't fuss

I destroyed the fence post between our house and our neighbours once, his side... and our neighbour didn't give a hoot.

Peace425 · 18/07/2018 13:00

I'm guessing, either:

  1. He does not have insurance, so does not want you to contact your insurers.

  2. His car was already damaged - maybe he is about to scrap it, or thinks he can get it fixed cheaply without letting his insurance company know. i.e. - his premiums won't go up.

Juells · 18/07/2018 13:01

Wing mirrors cost a lot to replace :(

Someone crashed into me at traffic lights a while ago - totally her fault - and I couldn't find it in myself to care. I have an old car, its next stop will be the junkyard.

Buddyelf · 18/07/2018 13:02

my DH reacted the same when someone dinged his car. They were turning around in the road and accidentally knocked his car - they knocked at our door to tell us. Poor guy was so flustered and worried but DH wasn't bothered at all. Minor scratch and no harm done!

Strugglingtodomybest · 18/07/2018 13:04

Like your neighbour, I wouldn't care, and wouldn't bother coming to look at it. I'm not sure why your first thought would be that he's not insured though, have you never come across anyone who doesn't care what their car looks like before?

HariboIsMyCrack · 18/07/2018 13:04

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Passmethecrisps · 18/07/2018 13:05

Nice way to make him seem like he bad guy peace. Maybe after all this time our neighbour is secretly convinced we are insurance dodgers.

And it wouldn’t be his premium which would go up surely

lucy101101 · 18/07/2018 13:05

I think I would take around flowers/wine/chocolates as a gesture.

BarbaraofSevillle · 18/07/2018 13:05

If there are bumps and scrapes already, it's easy to see why he wouldn't care about another one. They don't affect how the car runs and in an old car, barely affect the value either especially if he's not planning on selling it, or it truely is only worth scrap value.

Insurance companies sometimes increase your insurance even if you have a no fault claim, so it's often not worth going through the insurance for minor bumps.

We were once coming home and DP skidded on ice and bumped into another car in our Land Rover, which wasn't damaged. We knocked on the door of the house that the car was outside and said we were very sorry but we had just hit their car.

They laughed and said we were the third people at least to have done that (they were parked on a bend and were right in the way of anyone not making the turn on the ice, fuck knows why they didn't park somewhere else) and they were waiting for it to be picked up for repairs so not to worry about it.

Readyfortheschoolhols · 18/07/2018 13:05

Sounds like he actually likes a battle scarred vehicle.
Each to their own.

theressomethingaboutmarie · 18/07/2018 13:06

I remember one tired morning when I was reversing out of our drive and was massively distracted by the kids. I hit a BMW 4x4 that was parked opposite. My heart sank - I moved away and saw that there was damage. I put a note on the car with my contact details on and received an email from the owner saying that they couldn't see any damage (there was damage, it was VERY clear), that I shouldn't worry about it and thanking me for being so honest. Big surprise!

Strugglingtodomybest · 18/07/2018 13:06

Peace425 , you don't need to guess as the OP says:

his car already has extensive damage to it

silversfish · 18/07/2018 13:09

you realise you can run the number plate on the mib and find out

specialsubject · 18/07/2018 13:12

you can but you should not if it is not your car. tax and mot checks are ok.

btw my old banger was written off by someone reversing out of her drive. Yet another reason to reverse in. and if the kids are yelling, stop until they have been dealt with. better late than dead or a murderer.

trancepants · 18/07/2018 13:13

I have an older car. If it got a bit of a scratch and it wasn't too noticeable it wouldn't bother me. If it was dented or very noticeably scratched up to the point where you could see it from a few feet away, I'd bring it to my garage and get it fixed for what I know would be about £100 or less and let you choose to involve your insurance or pay it yourself. I suspect paying it yourself would cost you less in the long run, so I'd be fine with you taking that option. I'm fully insured, I'm just willing to let someone's mistake be rectified as simply as possible for them or just let it go completely if it doesn't bother me. (My only exception there would be if you were clearly dui, it's in everyone's best interests for that to be reported.)

Tbh, it's one of the reasons I prefer having an older car. It's not pristine so I'm not that worried about a new scratch. Just a few weeks back I was parked in a shopping centre car park and when I returned there was a trolley up against my car and it was scratched where the trolley had clearly hit it. I was slightly exasperated that someone had been such a careless asshole but ultimately didn't care, If it had been a new car I'd probably have been crying like a baby.

Katedotness1963 · 18/07/2018 13:18

Count yourself lucky. My husband tapped the car in front during a traffic jam. The police were called out, no damage to either vehicle but insurance details were swapped. The other driver put in a claim for a couple of thousand which caused our premiums to go up. His whole bloody car wouldn't have been worth a couple of thousand...

Raver84 · 18/07/2018 13:19

Recently reversed into a parked car. Told the driver and he didn't give a shit as he was scrapping the car the next week.

School mum drove into my door, minor scratch on inside of door. Told her it's fine as it cant be seen.

Dad rushing out of doctors surgery with poorly child smacked his door into my car when opening it. Small dent. My car is nice but still said it was ok. These thing happen amd it wasn't on purpose.

Hope the above points reassure you that these things happen and quite often!

ChadwithaK · 18/07/2018 13:26

I have an old car. It has scrapes and scratches. A young lassie drove into the back of me at 5mph about 6 months ago and put 3 scratches on my back bumper.

Her car had a broken number plate and her bonnet clip was busted. Her dad came round later (she was 18 and a new driver and was in hysterics at the time) and offered to pay to fix the scratches. I'd had the car looked at by my mechanic who confirmed it was indeed just 3 very minimal surface scratches that would buff out and no other damage.

I told him not to be so daft and sent him on his way. They later dropped round a box of chocs.

I have insurance.

WeightedCompanionCube · 18/07/2018 13:33

Nice of you to start pontificating on the internet that he must have an uninsured vehicle OP though. That's snidey.

My car's got dents and scratches on it and is an older car. If you hit it, I'd be mildly pissed off but wouldn't be claiming on insurance (which I DO have incidentally) for it because the age of my car - they'd just write it off and then whatever happened I'd be out of pocket, down a reliable vehicle I know has been well maintained and back to looking for a decent second hand car at short notice. Easier to just smile, curse when the door's closed behind you and start looking round the scrapyards for a replacement wing mirror or whatever.

I drive an older car and one of the reasons IS that you can feel a bit less stressed about the odd scratch, wayward trolley in the carpark incident, or in our case, getting down a narrow access track with tree branches overgrowing into the road to my mum's house without freaking out about pristine paintwork being ruined. I'd love a shiny new car - but my blood pressure wouldn't love the stress of keeping it pristine.