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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just received horrible text

142 replies

PaulRuddislush · 17/07/2018 19:46

Hi everyone I'm new here. About 30 minutes ago my phone pinged with a big ranty, sweary text. I was very confused as the sender is a lady I'm friendly with through the choir we both attend and I don't have an awful lot to do with her other than church and guide association fundraising.
The text was appalling, the phrase "I hope you rot in hell you rancid c**t" was particularly horrible.
Then another text came through with profuse apologies as it wasn't intended for me (thank goodness).
My AIBU is this woman is allegedly a committed Christian with a big community presence yet she's just displayed some very unChristian behaviour, I'm not sure whether to tell anyone about this in RL. She can be quite demanding and sanctimonious and I feel incredibly sorry for the intended recipient.
Sorry for the rambling, it's been quite upsetting.

OP posts:
GirlsBlouse17 · 17/07/2018 20:33

For all you know, she, or someone she cares about may have been threatened or conned or attacked or abused by the recipient. You don't know what is behind the text, what hurt there may have been. You are not there to judge. Despite being Christian, she is also human. Best thing you can do is ask her if she is okay and you are there, if she needs to speak to anyone

Original poster
PaulRuddislush · 17/07/2018 20:33

I'm not Catholic, it's a community church with lay preachers. I don't want to say anything to anyone in the church community or at all for that matter, it could open up a whole can of worms and I don't need the hassle.

OP posts:
CrystalHCarrington · 17/07/2018 20:35

If she's not normally like that, then I think it's fair to conclude that the intended recipient had done something terrrible - but we don't know what it is.

It maybe to her (ex) best friend who had just slept with her husband and texted her to tell her.

It maybe to a relative who had abused her as a child and was trying to get back in touch.

It maybe anything that warrants that kind of response so we shouldn't judge and it's more likely to be something extreme because she is not like that.

haribosmarties · 17/07/2018 20:35

well really you are lucky to have this insight into her real personality so that you know to avoid her socially. Shes done you a favour letting you know how she conducts her personal relationships. Always good to have a heads up when someones unhinged.

MrsGarethSouthgate · 17/07/2018 20:37

Surely if you want to grass her up, God is the one you would dob her in to?

And given he's an Omniscient being, you can probably strike this off your to-do list.

Imchangingmyname · 17/07/2018 20:38

Of course she could be an absolutely hideous bitch who you wouldn't consider would be, because she's 'religious'. I worked with a woman like this once. Dragged everyone to church services at lunchtime but was actually underhand and very bitchy.

glintandglide · 17/07/2018 20:38

That’s actually kind of brilliant. No one messes that that church going choir singing bitch

Gemini69 · 17/07/2018 20:44

I'd ask her politely... to remove your Number from her phone... Hmm

Luckystar777 · 17/07/2018 20:44

i think alot of people are nice in public but at home if something makes them angry then they can be that sweary, I am one of them, I sound like Ozzy Osbourne, lol!

DoubleNegativePanda · 17/07/2018 20:46

In my experience, the preachy high-profile Christians tend to be the worst behaved in private so it doesn't seem very surprising to me!

Johnnycomelately1 · 17/07/2018 20:47

You don't need to be endlessly nice to be a Christian. You just have to accept Christ as your saviour. Therefore YABU.

rollingonariver · 17/07/2018 20:48

You really don't know what that person had done to her, it could be her abusive ex, it could be anyone.
It's a bit sanctimonious of you to judge her tbh. I'm religious and I hate all the 'holier than thou' 'I'd never even swear' people. They're always the ones who wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire in real life.
Pipe down.

rollingonariver · 17/07/2018 20:49

I can guarantee God would be less sad that I said 'arsehole' than acted like an arsehole.

Foodylicious · 17/07/2018 20:53

My goodness.
Hope you haven't given yourself a wedgie with your judgey pants hoiked up so high!

In all seriousness Though, I think you need to decide if you just want to leave well alone, or if you want to ask if she is ok.

If you are not close and/or are not interested in getting to know her better then just put it out if your mind.

Aeroflotgirl · 17/07/2018 20:54

Say nothing, and move on. Could have been to her dh fancy woman, or somebody who has been nasty to her. Just reply, no probs and forget.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 17/07/2018 20:55

I fully understand you being upset.
and Your dead right. It's not the behaviour and conduct you would expect from a devoute Christian. The God I pray to wouldn't be impressed.

BigPinkBall · 17/07/2018 20:55

So weird that you think because someone is a Christian that they’re somehow superhuman and better than everyone else, makes me wonder what you think of people who don’t belong to your particular cult.

TheFormidableMrsC · 17/07/2018 20:59

This is marvellous! I can't wait for the opportunity to call somebody a "rancid cunt" Grin

TornFromTheInside · 17/07/2018 20:59

How can you be sure she sent the first text? Maybe she has an awful partner who'd send this sort of stuff, and she's ashamed to reveal that?

(just trying to imagine a scenario where such an incongruous text might be sent).

Aeroflotgirl · 17/07/2018 21:00

You think Christians are Holier than though, some can be the nastiest people on earth, hiding behind their veil of devout Christianity. Look to home, before you judge.

Original poster
PaulRuddislush · 17/07/2018 21:02

She lives alone, never been married.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 17/07/2018 21:05

I don't understand how this can happen on a phone nowadays. Your number was saved on her phone and when she opened it there would've been a history of your conversations, or no conversation at all. If she was responding to someone else surely their texts would show on the screen?

I'm with those who say you have no idea what someone had done to her to warrant that text. I wouldn't tell anyone else about it.

Original poster
PaulRuddislush · 17/07/2018 21:06

Evidently a lot of people haven't bothered to read my posts. I'm not judging her, I was utterly shocked by the venom in the text no matter who it was from. I've already said I've deleted the text and have no plans to mention it in RL. Some bizarre responses on here inferring I'm a cult member no less. Ok then.

OP posts:
BrexitWife · 17/07/2018 21:09

I shouldnt judge
Actually I would in this case.

You can’t be at the same time committed to your church, involved in ‘supporting’ teenagers and children
And then act exactly the opposite way

It doesn’t matter who the other person is or what they did. ‘I hope you rot in hell you rancid cunt’ has no place at all in anyone langauge/text and even less in someone who is supposedly compassionate and forgiving to others.
For me it’s hypocritical and it would change the way I look at her a heel of a lot.
It would also make me extremely weary of her.

user1496436814 · 17/07/2018 21:13

Gosh OP, you sound exceedingly sanctimonious and judgemental. Could you not just either laugh about the amusing text, or text her to make sure she's okay? How smug and self-righteous do you have to be to publicly judge and show disapproval online for a woman whose personal circumstances you know nothing about?

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