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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Vile Neighbours Making Life Hell

55 replies

Candysandy · 16/07/2018 11:56

OK, so our neighbours moved in around three months ago and to say we haven't got off on the right foot would be a bloody understatement...Pretty much every week they've been having garden fires, burning all kinds of crap producing really vile noxious fumes and making it impossible for me to enjoy my garden or peg washing out etc...
During the recent hot spell we've been having they've really been ramping it up and having a fire on a daily basis,I've been off work for a couple of weeks and they've been burning stuff from around two in the afternoon til around 10pm , the smoke is really black and thick and gets right on your chest.I've had to keep all the windows and doors shut and the house has been like a bloody sauna...absolutely unbearable...we've actually had to leave the house and go for a long walk to get to respite or go to my mums to cool down!!!
I had a word with one of the girls that lives there as she asked me to bring my washing in last week as she was going to have a fire.I told her I wasn't happy about it and asked her to desist having them in the day to which she replied "We have to burn the rubbish to get the garden done". I told her she could put it in her brown recycling bin, compost it or take it to the tip. She just stared at me blankly and went about having her fire til 10pm...
Last week the smoke was so bad my eyes were streaming just from nipping out and feeding the rabbits so told her I wasn't happy and she ignored me.
I had no alternative to phone the council and they issued them with a letter. Saturday night I came in and the girls father(who has the bonfires with her) was waiting in their garden.
He told me I had no right to report him and that he could do as he pleased. I told him his daughter was in possession of a letter which said otherwise and how I had the right to enjoy my garden and breathe clean air and he leaned right in towards me and said "I'd watch myself if I was you ".
My husband witnessed it and told him not to threaten me and he lunged over the fence shouting "Come on Specky" and tried to punch my husband. His wife then came out and started getting in my face and shouting all kinds of crap that wasn't true...real vile stuff saying my son was a pervert checking out his daughters and just trying to score cheap points because she hadn't got a leg to stand on...we reported the lowlife to the cops and eventually they spoke to him and gave him a verbal warning and told him basically to wind his neck in...now the parents seem to come most days, being super loud and obnoxious,making us feel uncomfortable in our own home...I don't feel we can stay here any longer even though it's been our home for 23 years ...any advice would be greatly appreciated...AIBU to feel sick and depressed and contemplate selling up or should I find a different way of dealing with it? I genuinely feel frightened of what he might do next ,,,

OP posts:
wink1970 · 16/07/2018 12:01

Call the police. Again, again and again.

Original poster
Candysandy · 16/07/2018 12:02

Just to add the two daughters in their 20s live in the house with one of their boyfriends but the parents are always there visting...we think they have bought the house and the girls rent it off them.

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 16/07/2018 12:05

Sympathies. They sound like pyromaniacs who has fires all the time weirdos

Also had awful neighbours it's terrible. Just keep reporting

TeddyIsaHe · 16/07/2018 12:06

Report. Keep a detailed diary of absolutely every incident and phone 101/the council every single time something happens, even if it seems minor. They are bullies and will continue to be hideous until forced to stop.

BentOutOfShape · 16/07/2018 12:08

Call the police, call the council, keep detailed records, and install CCTV.

If possible put up a bigger fence and try and keep out of their way. If they confront you don’t react and leave.

If it doesn’t improve then consider moving house. Drastic but some people won’t ever change their ways.

Original poster
Candysandy · 16/07/2018 12:10

I'm at my wits end...DH is having intensive counselling for being abused as a child and now this? It's just bloody relentless and I feel I've well and truly reached the end of my tether...

OP posts:
CantankerousCamel · 16/07/2018 12:10

You need to spend some money for CCTV so they can’t threaten you around your home. If they start having a fire, film it, show the council, phone environmental health. Get a dash cam and try and film them threatening you.

I feel for you OP. My neighbours are HIDEOUS, not only are they out every day playing crap music and screaming at each other, she is also absolutely nuts and obsessed with me, so spends every minute of every day looking for ways to ‘get’ me phoning the police or council and making awful, false allegations. They also have a large family and her sister/mother will come round and block the lane and shout things at us. On Friday they informed us they were going to shoot our dog.

It’s just got to the point where its constant. All the time

Original poster
Candysandy · 16/07/2018 12:12

Big hugs Camel,that sounds absolutely terrible...what the hell is wrong with these people?? Talk about the devil makes work for idle hands ...

OP posts:
MapleLeafRag · 16/07/2018 12:17

Council the departmentcatvyour local council that deals with environmental issues as it sounds like this constant fire burning is a nuisance.

Don’t do what my DM did - shout that the stink from their fires was so bad they must be burning their pants!

MinorRSole · 16/07/2018 12:19

They sound hideous and also your poor rabbits breathing all that in too!
I'm in my 40s and have lived in the country all my life, never once lit a fire in my garden (or anywhere actually!). What on earth are they burning to need to do it so frequently?!
As for the abuse, well that just shows what type of people they are.

If you tried to sell would you have to declare this rift?

Only advice I can think is to keep communications with your council and police open - could you try and get one person in each department that you can update so they are familiar with the case? I don't know if that's possible but might be worth asking.

So sorry for what you are going through op, I hope they are renters!

TinklyLittleLaugh · 16/07/2018 12:25

Well you can fight this and record incidents and complain about them. But you know what, life is very short. I'd honestly move somewhere else and leave them to it. You can't win against crazy people like this.

Fatbelliedgirl · 16/07/2018 12:29

Sorry you are going through this OP Flowers and you have my sympathies. We had a very similar problem a few years ago. Somehow the neighbour found out it was us who reported her and her husband. She came and hit our front door one evening, shouting and screaming threats and insults at us because she had been sent an official letter. We had no choice other than to call the police, such was the level of alarm and distress she caused.
The attending police officer visited this woman and had firm words with her. She was warned not to return to our property and not to threaten us again, else face arrest and criminal proceedings. We ended up having CCTV fitted to protect our home in the event of any threat being carried out and certainly did not feel safe there anymore as a result of this woman's extremely frightening behaviour and threats.
She told us to ''wait and see what we are going to get'' and to ''wait and see what's coming for you''.
Thereafter, whenever I drove past her she used to give me the most evil glares or even drive at me. It always happened when I was in the car alone, or when she was alone.
At it happened, we moved away last year because of a job relocation. As soon as we'd sold the house her behaviour stopped and she ignored me.
There are some very nasty people in this world.

bigKiteFlying · 16/07/2018 12:29

Call the police, call the council, keep detailed records, and install CCTV.

^^ Do this.

You’d have to check with a solicitor but now it's been reported to council I think it would have to be declared when selling.

MissionItsPossible · 16/07/2018 12:31

Please keep on OP. I am faced with the same situation from vile neighbours luckily not immediate but close enough to suffer from smoke and the smell, I feel really sorry for their immediate neighbours and for you also.

CantankerousCamel · 16/07/2018 12:32

OP it is exactly that

She is ‘disabled’ and he is her ‘carer’ And they spend all day, every day in one room of their house. They even sleep in that front room. She is obsessed with me, makes it her mission to destroy my life or something.

But she’s failing, if you stay calm and approachable they WILL screw themselcss over, my nieghbour is being issued with a cease and desist from both the council and the police and being charged with wasting police time regarding her constant ‘reports’ of me.

So it does happen eventually but takes a loooioong time. They moved in FOUR years ago and it’s been awful since.

WindyWednesday · 16/07/2018 12:34

I’d be concerned with the grass being so dry that it will cause a wildfire. Maybe call your local fire brigade and ask them for advice as the grass is so dry.

DancingDot · 16/07/2018 12:34

Is the relationship utterly beyond repair? If you don't want to leave your family home and there is no likelihood of them moving on any time soon might you consider community mediation?

GruffaIo · 16/07/2018 12:36

At what point would OP have to declare this when selling? If that's already reached, might it be better to put in a taller fence and just keep reporting? If it's not reached, perhaps consider moving?

Failbydefault · 16/07/2018 12:38

Presumably your other neighbours are affected by this too. Can you speak to them and go round en masse and insist that they stop burning their garden waste. They may not be so aggressive if they realise you’ve got support behind you.

loveka · 16/07/2018 12:41

You have my symapthy, it sounds awful.

We are moving away due to neighbours from hell. Ours have a different version of hell, but still hell. I think I got very close to a breakdown.

We have ended up remortgaging our house (lucky to have a lot of equity I know) and buying another house. We will rent this house out when we have finished doing up our new one.

We have logged things with the police, and our solicitor has a file. We also (and this has really helped psychologically) have put up the tallest tence we legally can between the 2 houses, both front and back. We also planted bamboo as another barrier.

In the meantime, as the police have already been involved, call them in again. Even if the community support office just comes to check all is ok. If you call the police they attend if you report a potential breach of the peace.

And keep on at the council about the burning. One of our issues was bonfires, our council were rubbish but looking back I don't think we pushed them enough.

You need to keep a diary of everything that happens, even small incidents. It could be that once they have burnt everything the fires will stop.

You do need to declare neighbour disputes when you sell though.

MeridianB · 16/07/2018 12:50

Report, report, report - every single time. Get to know your local council team who deal with environmental health and call them as soon as the fire is lit.

www.gov.uk/garden-bonfires-rules

specialsubject · 16/07/2018 12:51

mediation is for normal human beings, waste of time with these filthy skanks.

it is obvious why the daughters are so dirty, stupid and selfish with parents like that.

keep reporting to police and council and huge sympathy to you. People like this deserve to be on the streets, not in houses.

Bramble71 · 16/07/2018 12:57

If I were in your position, I would want to move away. However, when you sell, you need to declare any disputes with neighbours, and that might scupper a potential sale.

Hygge · 16/07/2018 13:04

Keep documenting and reporting everything, just as you are doing.

And if you can get CCTV, do that too. If you can't, film things on your phone, even if it means putting your phone on record as you walk from your car to your house, or if they come to your door.

Get a dash cam in your car that records front and back and comes on if there's movement.

Go to the doctor, and get your health concerns on record. Both the effects of the smoke and the affects of the threats and behaviour.

If they are being loud, report the noise. People on here often claim noise has to be after 11pm but it doesn't, not if it's deliberate and frequent, or prolonged.

If you feel able to approach other neighbours, speak to them. They might also be making reports and keeping logs of things.

I know you reported the father to the police but let the council know what happened as a result of the letter, and everything else that has happened since.

I'm sorry they are doing this to you. Flowers

SusannahL · 16/07/2018 13:05

What hideous people they are.

Are they renting or buying Op? If renting, you could contact the letting agent and complain to them. They would be in breach of their tenancy agreement, and the landlord could get them out.