To check or expect access to your partner's phone or computer,?

[mademybed123]

Would you be happy for your DP to access your phone?

Do you expect to, or actively check, your partner's phone?

If you found your DP snooping what would your response be?

[QuackPorridgeBacon]

I’d never snoop and neither would be. I have access via fingerprint to his phone and him mine. This is purely for access reasons, like needing to make a call or needing to phone the hospital and one phone is dead or upstairs etc. We can use each others if need be too but no need to nosey through it. I have a laptop and he knows the password for it and uses it occasionally. I did, in the first few months of our relationship, nosey through his old Facebook messages while next to him but he didn’t know, I felt sick afterwards and told him and I got really upset that I had done that so never again because I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself let alone him forgiving me. It made me feel sick because he was in a controlling relationship before me and I felt awful. No trust issues whatsoever now though and no need to be secretive with our phones, we just aren’t interested in being nosey.

[mirime]

We both know the password for laptop and tablet. DH knows the code for my phone but that's because it has some important info on there that he might need if anything happened to me and I told him whilst in A&E when I was panicking.

As far as I know hes never had a look since then though. I've never gone through his phone and I have had the opportunity, I doubt there's anything on there that I would find particularly interesting.

[dementedma]

no way. my phone is mine, and his is his.
We are individal people with rights to our own personal property. He doens't know the passcode to mine and I don't know the passcode to his.

married 31 years if that's relevant.

[SoozC]

I have DH's phone next to me charging right now but it wouldn't occur to me to snoop. He knows my unlock pattern but has never been bothered about looking at my phone. We trust each other completely, seems silly to be in a relationship where you don't trust each other.

[WonderfulWonders]

I only have two truly private spaces in my home: my handbag and my phone.

There's nothing secret in either of them but I'd be really pissed off if anyone went through them.

[Petalflowers]

I have free access to dh’s phone, and him to me. Occasionally, i’ll Use his phone. After reading too many threads on mn about husband being secretive about phones and having affairs, I would be suspicious if he started hiding his phone.

[ASqueakingInTheShrubbery]

We know each other's passwords and occasionally use each other's, eg if his battery is flat or if MIL rings his phone while he's driving, but wouldn't snoop.

[EnglishRose13]

We don't check each other's phone. We have access to each other's phones. If I found him snooping I'd probably laugh at him because there's nothing to find. I would be pretty annoyed though.

[adaline]

No. My phone and laptop are private and I don't know DP's passwords either. I would never expect to.

If someone tried to hack my property or thought they had the right to read my messages then the relationship would be over.

My friends message me with the expectation that those messages stay between us. They don't message me with the expectation that DP will read them too.

[Koalablue]

We know each others pass words and use each others devises.

[Copperbonnet]

Neither of us “check” each other’s devices but we both know that pass codes to everything, including emails and social media.

We occasionally use each other’s phones or devices.

One or other of us will occasionally get the other to find an email or look something up on the other’s phone.

We open each other’s paper mail too though.

We don’t have any secrets.

[IAmNotAWitch]

We both have access to each other's devices, logins etc.

Never thought to snoop, no need.

[ICJump]

Ive never snooped but I can access OH iPad and phone but that’s mainly so I can watch telly on it or use the maps function on the phone. I’ve told OH my Phone code about 50 times but he doesn’t remember it.

[Cherubfish]

Our emails sync to a shared iPad. I sometimes take a look at his and I expect he sometimes takes a look at mine.

I don’t know the passcode on his phone.

[LagunaBubbles]

seems to be reasonably common for DP to snoop?

Does it? Based on what?

[BlueBug45]

Not interested.

[Tinkie25]

We both have passwords incase it’s lost/stolen. We both know each other’s passwords, but I don’t check as DH has never given me a reason to be suspicious. I don’t th No DH has checked either.

[FreshHorizons]

It is a matter of trust - we are married 30 years and never look at each other's devices unless we want technological help or want to share something.

[FuckPants]

We know each other's passcodes but we never snoop, if he did then he'd be out the door on his arse.

[SharronNeedles]

DH and I have full access to each others phones, tablets and laptops. I regularly use his phone if mine in dead or if he has an app I'm curious about or a receipe and vice versa. I've never felt the need to read his messages, look at his search history or go through Facebook. I've no idea if he's gone through mine, although I'm fairly certain he wouldnt as I know he trusts me. It's never something we've had to discuss

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I would never 'check' my partners phone. He's as entitled to a private life as anyone! We both use each other's phones often - to google something, to call someone, to check our shared calendar - if it's convenient and neither of us are precious about that. But I would never read his notes, texts or emails, and while I wouldn't care if he saw mine while doing something else I wouldn't expect him to go looking for them especially.

[Poodles1980]

I have no idea of my dh pin. I would never snoop on his phone or computer and I would expect same from him. Our relationship is based on trust. I think only really insecure people snoop. I would hate to be married to someone I couldn’t trust

[CantankerousCamel]

Yes we are on each other finger print recognition and know each other’s passwords.

I’m not sure why you wouldn’t be when you live with someone.

We are a pretty open couple, it’s not a lack of trust thing, it means we can quickly change/put on music or check banks and send money over or whatever

[WilyMinx]

I know his passcode and he knows mine, but I've never felt the need to check anything.

But I would be if he told me he was entitled to privacy. Not that he shouldn't be, but why would he think I'd invade it?

[Cath2907]

I never check husbands phone nor he mine. However we both have each other’s pin codes and use one another’s phones without restriction. Would seem odd to me not to.