To feel pissed off with advertising to the 50+

[Oliversmumsarmy]

I might be being overly sensitive but since I turned 50 I started to receive mail advertising the nearest care home, assisted living apartments, funeral plans.

On TV all I see is the plan your own funeral, how to glue in your teeth adverts or the now you are 50 you can go cruising or stay in a hotel where there are no kids with a lot of other people who being 50+ means your kids have magically disappeared.

At 50 I had 2 children in primary school, like a lot of my 50+ friends. At 50 a couple of them still had kids in nursery and one was pregnant.

I peaked looking on AIRBNB this morning at things to do in the local area of a holiday destination I was interested in.

Saw something i thought we could do as a family. But the photographs were of young people in their 20s.30s
In fact all the advertising for anything I looked at was aimed at the 20-30 year old market.

AIBU that as more and more women are giving birth in their mid to late 30s and older. Their Dps/dhs are usually similar age or older.
Men and women aren't all suddenly turning into old fogies who want to run out and plan their funeral on our 50th birthday.

One particular advert always got to me and it might seem ridiculous but the kitchen used in the advert supposedly what some advertising geek thinks is typical of a family whose parents are in their 50s was something out of the 1970s.

Don't advertisers realise most of us at this age have moved and redecorated since 1977.
Advertising adults only holidays to those as young as 50 is directed at grandparents. Unless you had children under the age of 24 and the same with your children I don't see how you can have multiple GC at 50.
Not saying you can't but I think I am right in thinking the average age to give birth is late 20s not late teens.

Aibu to be pissed. I know I could book stuff or buy what I like but the expectation that once you hit 50 advertisers think all you are fit for is to plans your own funeral or shut yourself away in some care home or hotel with others of the same age is really offensive.

Advertisers are missing out on a huge market. After all according to some we are the BB generation and have the most disposable cash

My younger sister is a grandmother though

Bluelady Oh come on how many times when you were young out with with your friends, yes you all laugh and took the mickey at the older lady dress up, trying to look young, yes you know the type, mutton dressed as lamb, you all said I’ll be dead before doing that.

Undercoverbanana Why are we all going to be working into are 70’s , you’ve had years to plan for it, Why work when you good be using your free time to do the stuff you want ie those cinema deals

You might have done, Rosstac, I don't think I was ever that rude and judgemental. When I was young I was too busy worrying about what I looked like to worry about older women's fashion choices. Just like now really.

Nothing wrong with getting funeral plans in place. Then you can get on with life!!!!

YANBU
When DH turned 50 our youngest was at Primary school. When I turned 50 we had 2 teenagers and one nearly teen.
As a family we laugh at DH getting Ads for retirement homes - we are really 20 years at least from needing that kind of accommodation. And retirement age is now 67+.

Most people I know are in a similar position.

Surely people are missing the point here - they advertise funeral plans to over 50s because they aren't going to die soon. the funeral company wants you to pay in for as long as possible before they have to pay out. People in their 80s have either already thought about their funeral or are a poor risk because they might actually die shortly after starting the scheme, so better to try to recruit the younger people.

Actually - thinking about it, these adverts are going out to EVERYONE watching the programme. We are just the ones noticing the adverts.

Maybe our brains are trying to prepare us.

Mutton dressed up as lamb* Personally I don't see anything wrong with Mutton dressed as lamb if the alternative is clothes your 100 year old granny would find old fashioned or those clothing stores that presume everyone works in an office or needs attire for a dinner party.

You dress how you feel not to be judged by other people.

Just seen an advert for something called 50Life I think that was what it was called.
So definitely aimed at the 50+ market.

I shouldn't bother with a funeral plan as the cost seems to be tumbling.

I distinctly remember a few months ago the cost of a funeral was as much as £7000 but on this advert it has gone down to £4000.

Maybe next year it be £2000 and the year after £1000.

Bluelady Of course you didn’t, when out and about now you still hear it from the younger girls in their party.
I suppose it all depends on your wealth, lifestyle and health, in more richer areas with more money to spend on clothes, hairstyle etc you can look good when your older, it obviously depends on your health, A lady at work mid fifties just had a mild stroke and another is on her second full knee op after a lifetime of manual work

Nothing wrong with getting funeral plans in place. Then you can get on with life

Or just get on with life and let others worry about digging a hole and dumping you in it.
You will be dead and won't care

Oliversmumsarmy My Mum 74 recently departed from a stroke, her funeral cost over £7000 and that was not a grand do unfortunately as we couldn’t afford anymore

It's pretty irresponsible to not either prepay your funeral or ensure there's enough money readily available to pay for it. The cost isn't going down, incidentally, quite the reverse. Do you really want your kids having the unnecessary additional stress of worrying about how they're going to pay for your funeral when you die? I don't.

Just as a side line to this- how do these companies know your age?

Are you not updating your privacy settings on social media? Are you giving out your D of B when it's not legally required? Lost of websites ask for DofB but it's not a legal requirement and I don't ever give mine or my real one unless it's a government site or for insurance and banking.

I'm always shocked at the number of people who give their age on facebook etc- sometimes their full date of birth! madness from a security / ID theft viewpoint.

I know we are all profiled by what we buy but I am in my 60s and don't receive any of the stuff the OP mentions.

FWIW the average age now of 'first birth' is around 31. This is an increase on previous years.

But I do agree in principle that ageism is alive and well!

Funeral plans are a topic in the media at the moment- and not for good reasons! They are a rip off.

You can have a very simple DIY funeral for around £2K if you avoid car hire, fancy coffins, service etc. and go for a humanist ceremony with only close family- just cremated one of my parents this way.

Bit selfish oliversarmy.
I'm having direct cremation and it is all paid for..I'm nearly 60.
So my dh and dcs don't have to worry. It isn't their responsibility to pay for it.

@Oliversmumsarmy

Or just get on with life and let others worry about digging a hole and dumping you in it.... You will be dead and won't care

I said this earlier but I will say it again!

It is selfish and irresponsible to say 'I will be dead so I won't care about funeral costs' because you are ultimately leaving your loved ones with the financial burden of your funeral, that can run into the middle 4 figures (4 grand-ish..) And THAT is for a 'basic' one.

Unless you want the council to give you a 'paupers' funeral. If so, you will get incinerated with dozens of other people, your family won't know when it will happen, they won't be allowed there anyway, they won't be allowed the ashes from the cremation, and there will be no grave or resting place.

Is that what you want for your loved ones and family?

If you DON'T want to pay into a funeral plan (and they are a bit expensive,) then at LEAST put 3 or 4 grand away, so your family doesn't have to suffer the financial burden!

As I said, you can do it for less than those figures. My dad's funeral and a cremation cost £2500. We had flowers from the garden, only us family there and no cars other than the hearse. We toyed with buying a cardboard coffin but the logistics of getting it in time etc were complicated.
This was what my dad wanted- he didn't want to waste money.

But I agree that the living have to make funeral provision not wait till they are dead and expect their children to fork out (my parents saved like mad all their lives and the prime consideration was having enough for 2 funerals.)

Funeral plans ARE a rip off, but what are those of us who can't 'just' put a few grand aside meant to do? I have barely enough money to keep me afloat day to day, certainly not enough to leave a lump sum aside (and since I'd be dead and my accounts would therefore be frozen and inaccessible until probate, my relatives would still have to find the money upfront, albeit with the knowledge they would get it back) - so funeral plans that will pay out instantly to cover the costs is pretty much the only way (apart from notes under the mattress).

I'm sympathetic about the beige slacks adverts, don't buy Women's Weekly (which my grandma gets) then...

I'm less sympathetic about people moaning about Tena lady. If you are lucky enough not to have a damaged pelvic floor through childbirth or other problem, good for you, but stop going on about incontinence as if it's a step towards the grave or like it's some type of insult if you are offered pads through advertising. It's GREAT that Tena is advertized on TV and not hidden away, it's like periods, it's not shameful. People on here are going on 'I don't wee when I laugh' like people who go on about still having their own hair and teeth- it's not actually a life achievement and some of the talk on here is very disparaging of those who do wee when they laugh, so what?

I am not incontinent, but if I was, I think everyone going on indignantly about how awful it is and how it would never happen to them because they are so successful at ageing (because you are just going to think it better? or be terribly lucky?) is unhelpful. The reason it becomes problematic in older age (including 50plus!) is due to the menopause, muscle loss in the pelvic floor region and atrophy in that area. Not due to poor attitude to ageing!

I do agree the representation of 50-70 year old women is pretty old-fashioned, though and that's something it would be brilliant to challenge.

Don't know what you would make of me Rosstac.

I have a very distinctive don't give a fuck look that people like you prejudge and think I am something I am not.

Last person did that was suspended immediately from her job, probably with a view to being dismissed. Also because of this incident I am contemplating legal action against the company.

Also Rosstac you might laugh at us because we don't conform but that doesn't mean we are stupid. Be careful who you prejudge next time you might end up in a place where you don't want to be.

Just had a look at Boden clothing.

What I found interesting is that in the women's section there are only young models.

In the man's there is an older man model.

Actually quite liked some of the men's wear. You can keep the women's stuff

I think you can F off with your ideas of what the “ norm” is. In my corner of the South East it’s not extraordinary at all to be a parent in your late 40’s , early 50’s with primary age children. I’m 48 and my daughter is 6 and I know plenty of mothers who are around the same age. My mother was also 44 when she had her last baby so it’s not even a new phenomena. The consultant I saw when I was pregnant said he sees so many women in their 40’s, it’s not unusual at all. Of course if you gave birth in your 20’s or younger you would naturally gravitate towards women your own age - which then clearly leads you to believe that you are typical.

If you face the fact you are getting older you might be able to grow old gracefully, instead of trying to defy the inevitable but if you don't feel old why should you "grow old"

It’s probably because when organisations, including Mumsnet, do consumer surveys, they usually have 10 year ranges for younger people but only ‘55+’ for the older ones, so anyone over 55 is assumed to have the same interests/wants etc as an 80 year old.
I’ve brought this up with MN some time ago, and was told they don’t think they have enough over 55s to be significant- I suspect they are wrong by now.