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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel pissed off with advertising to the 50+

139 replies

Oliversmumsarmy · 15/07/2018 11:17

I might be being overly sensitive but since I turned 50 I started to receive mail advertising the nearest care home, assisted living apartments, funeral plans.

On TV all I see is the plan your own funeral, how to glue in your teeth adverts or the now you are 50 you can go cruising or stay in a hotel where there are no kids with a lot of other people who being 50+ means your kids have magically disappeared.

At 50 I had 2 children in primary school, like a lot of my 50+ friends. At 50 a couple of them still had kids in nursery and one was pregnant.

I peaked looking on AIRBNB this morning at things to do in the local area of a holiday destination I was interested in.

Saw something i thought we could do as a family. But the photographs were of young people in their 20s.30s
In fact all the advertising for anything I looked at was aimed at the 20-30 year old market.

AIBU that as more and more women are giving birth in their mid to late 30s and older. Their Dps/dhs are usually similar age or older.
Men and women aren't all suddenly turning into old fogies who want to run out and plan their funeral on our 50th birthday.

One particular advert always got to me and it might seem ridiculous but the kitchen used in the advert supposedly what some advertising geek thinks is typical of a family whose parents are in their 50s was something out of the 1970s.

Don't advertisers realise most of us at this age have moved and redecorated since 1977.
Advertising adults only holidays to those as young as 50 is directed at grandparents. Unless you had children under the age of 24 and the same with your children I don't see how you can have multiple GC at 50.
Not saying you can't but I think I am right in thinking the average age to give birth is late 20s not late teens.

Aibu to be pissed. I know I could book stuff or buy what I like but the expectation that once you hit 50 advertisers think all you are fit for is to plans your own funeral or shut yourself away in some care home or hotel with others of the same age is really offensive.

Advertisers are missing out on a huge market. After all according to some we are the BB generation and have the most disposable cash

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 16/07/2018 14:30

Also, is Tena on a zip wire the new Tampax in white shorts roller blading?

Bluelady · 16/07/2018 14:37

Tena on a zip wire is completely feasible. Apparently one in four adults in the UK have continence issues.

kitkat6 · 16/07/2018 14:46

I work in financial services so I see a lot of these type of adverts being prepared or being directed at people.

One of the reasons you see them from age 50 is:

  1. Pensions - you can take your 25% tax free cash from age 55 advisers want to engage you sooner rather than later. Plus this is about the time that people realise their pension pot is not going to keep them going for as long as they hope.
  2. Equity Release - people realise their pension isn't going to sustain them and the earliest you can do equity release is 55. It is a long thinking process from doing an initial enquiry into equity release to actually doing it - 2-7 years.
  3. Funeral Plans and Wills - because we are all going to die at some point and the earlier you sort it the cheaper it is because you secure the funeral at todays price and because you are still working you can afford the premiums (see point 1 about pensions)
  4. tenalady etc no idea assume brand awareness the more you see it the more likely you are to buy it when you need it
Zaphodsotherhead · 16/07/2018 15:03

I'm looking forward to my retirement home playing 'Pretty Vacant' on loop...

And I despise all those remortgage your home ads where the people remortgaging are doing so so they can 'help their grandchildren.' Surely, that's what their parents are for, and they should be remortgaging to go cliff-climing in Peru, not so a bunch of overprivileged youngsters can buy a new car!

Redcrayons · 16/07/2018 15:16

Can I add the Smiths to the retirement home playlist?

I wouldn’t mind a cruise tbh, i was a big fan of The Love Boat when I was young. I’d be expecting a whirlwind romance with the ships doctor though.

HRTpatch · 16/07/2018 15:20

Exactly zap

redshoeblueshoe · 16/07/2018 15:39

Its the British Seniors ad that pisses me off. I've no idea how old the woman is supposed to be but I've not seen anyone wear their hair like that since I was in school. And the bloody daughter has the same hair style.
Redcrayons The Love Boat is currently airing on daytime TV Grin

Rosstac · 16/07/2018 16:21

AStatelyPleasureDome If you face the fact you are getting older you might be able to grow old gracefully, instead of trying to defy the inevitable and look like the old person late is looking sad trying to hold onto her nonexistent youth

StillMedusa · 16/07/2018 16:37

I've had sidebar ads for 'discreet lipstick style' catheters for self cathing ! I'm not sure who decided that I needed those, but actually my 50 yr old bladder works fine, thanks Grin

Sometimes those hotter shoes look comfy tho...

MikeUniformMike · 16/07/2018 16:46

My mum loves Hotter shoes, and they have different styles. I think if I was on my feet all day I'd wear them.
I've seen younger women in them and they're ok.

Oliversmumsarmy · 16/07/2018 21:02

Pensions - you can take your 25% tax free cash from age 55

Well I'm stuffed I don't have a pension

Equity Release - people realise their pension isn't going to sustain them and the earliest you can do equity release is 55

So why not make an advert about doing equity release to bail your pension out. Why do adverts about giving your equity release to give it away or buying cars or other such depreciating assets.

Funeral Plans and Wills - because we are all going to die at some point and the earlier you sort it the cheaper it is

To make it cheaper you could wait till you are dead then you wouldn't have to spend a thing

Growing old is not how you look it is how you feel. I might look like an old bag but my actions are that of a teenager or early 20s at the most.

I couldn't care less if people think I don't fit in with their idea of an older person.

The whole point of this thread is because people think you should dress and act in a certain way because you a certain age

OP posts:
AStatelyPleasureDome · 16/07/2018 21:11

Rosstac, I really don't give a fuck, I don't expect to be immortal, so what's the point of worrying? Carpe Diem and all that.

Normaknowall · 16/07/2018 21:26

Amongst the birthday cards on my 50th was a test for bowel cancer - poo on this stick- and a call for breast screening. Yay.

TalbotAMan · 16/07/2018 21:56

My second child was born when I was 49. I spent my 50th birthday changing nappies.

I registered with the Preference Services and put adblockers in my browser and I don't think I have seen a funeral advert for a few years now.

Now I'm 60, yes, I am slowing down a bit, yes, I can now see fairies with my fairy-focal glasses, but I'm still the best IT guy in the office (better than some of the techs), I drive an electric car to save the planet and I can still answer nearly all the questions on University Challenge.

Mind you, I am getting to the point of not giving a damn, so I've taken the excuse of the hot weather to start serious work on my first ever all-over tan Grin

butterflysugarbaby · 17/07/2018 08:37

@Zaphod do you realise that the Sex Pistols Pretty Vacant will be very old fashioned music by the time you die? It would be like someone playing Glenn Miller in the 1990's Grin

Anyhoo, I am kind of with the OP and most others, but I do disagree with the funeral plans bit. I think it's selfish to say 'I will be dead so I won't care' because you are ultimately leaving your loved ones with the financial burden of your funeral, that can run into the middle 4 figures (4 grand-ish..) And THAT is for a 'basic' one.

Unless you want the council to give you a 'paupers' funeral. If so, you will get incinerated with dozens of other people, your family won't know when it will happen, they won't be allowed there anyway, they won't be allowed the ashes from the cremation, and there will be no grave or resting place.

If you DON'T want to pay into a funeral plan (and they are a bit expensive,) then at LEAST put 3 or 4 grand away, so your family doesn't have to suffer the financial burden!

I ALSO get sick of the over 50's ads though. As someone said earlier, many people are at LEAST 70 on the 'over 50's ads.' I am just gone 50, and don't look 21, but (like many people around my age,) I don't look any older than my age. I certainly do not look 70 with silver hair, beige slacks and a pinny! And I don't sit there knitting and listening to Jim Reeves!

I have (most of) my own teeth, I am only just starting to go a tiny bit grey at the temples (and it's not noticeable coz I am blonde!), I don't pee when I cough, sneeze, or laugh, I cycle and swim and go for long walks, and on holiday abroad once a year with my husband.

I also love current music (Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, Lana DelRey, Little Mix, Justin Bieber, Camilla Cabello, George Ezra, Adele,) and also early noughties stuff too (as well as stuff from my childhood which was the 1970's not the fucking second world war!) Hmm

Me and my husband laugh when we see over 50's cruises, and adverts for other things over 50's NEED....., you know, like denture glue, beds that help you get out of bed, walking frames, tena pads, baths with doors in them, plastic surgery, (coz we all want to try to look 21 at 50 don't we?!) Confused ) What makes us laugh is the 1920's & 1930's music playing, like Great Gatsby! It was nearly the 1970's when some people in their early to mid 50's were born FFS!

Oh and I am NOT a babyboomer! Hmm I am Generation X!

Finally, I disagree that many people in their 50's have primary school children. Some do sure, but as a few people have said upthread, it is 'not the norm.' I certainly agree that if you are around 50, it's fairly common to not have grandchildren, but it IS fairly UNcommon to have small children at 50.

I can count on the fingers of one hand, the amount of women I have ever known - or met - who have had kids over the age of 43-44. And I have only known ONE have one at 48. By IVF actually. She is 50 now and said she actually regrets it as it's killing her. She said it's SUCH hard work, and she never sleeps, and she has no energy.

She already had 2 in her early 20's (who have kids themselves now!) but she had one because her new boyfriend (10 years younger than her) wanted one. He is 40, he has a very hectic professional career, he is rarely home, and she is doing it all almost entirely by herself.

By the time her baby is in their mid to late teens, she will be an elderly woman. I don't envy her at all. And to be honest, I do feel a bit sorry for the child. When they start school, everyone will think she is their grandmother! They can't NOT think it really!

Have to admit, hell would have had to freeze over before I would have had a baby over the age of 40. Had mine in my mid to late 20's and wouldn't change a thing. I know some people say 'we can still do everything people do without babies - even with a baby/toddler in tow,) but you really can't.

MN really is a parallel universe sometimes, as there seems to be SO many people on here claiming to know lots of women having babies at 45-50. Yet IRL, I have known 2 in 50-odd years. The one who had IVF and had her baby the year before last, and one who had one at 47 - natural conception, and the baby had lots of issues that I won't go into on here.

Suffice to say though, (re the one who had a baby at 47- by natural conception,) that it aged the woman by 10 years within the first year of the baby's life, and made her quite ill, and her husband (the baby's father) left her (and the child) when the child was 3, as he couldn't take anymore, and she was left to cope alone.

Rosstac · 17/07/2018 08:40

Oliversmumsarmy But even you can surely agree there is nothing worse than seeing mutton dressed as lamb, it’s embarrassing to people around you and embarrassing to yourself, why not embrace your graceful decline into old age and enjoy it.

dudsville · 17/07/2018 08:46

For all those swaying their generation started the rave culture, this always makes me think about the rock n rollers, the beats, the punks, the 70s weird metal space music stuff. They've all had to deal with youth seeing them as old establishment fogeys most interested in the sale on fixadent.

Bluelady · 17/07/2018 08:57

Dear God, that horrible phrase "mutton dressed as lamb" is a disgrace. People should dress exactly as they like without being judged by anyone else. Forgive me if I don't wear a beige anorak and my leopard print coat makes you feel uncomfortable, I don't give a stuff and nor should anyone else.

Zaphodsotherhead · 17/07/2018 08:59

Butterfly, but isn't that the point? In your nursing home they tend to play the music that the residents used to listen to when they were 'in their formative years'? Like my very elderly aunt (in her 90's) home has tea-dances and similar, with wartime music played, because it's the music her generation relates to?

I didn't realise they were going to play me up-to-date music...(dashes off to brush up on hip-hop, so as to be able to enjoy the care home).

SugarIsAmazing · 17/07/2018 09:03

I'm 38 and have grandchildren. I'll probably be a great grandmother at fifty 😂

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 17/07/2018 09:06

YANBU. I love the idea they have that as soon as you hit 50 you are about to retire. Fat chance! Most of us will be working to our graves anyway.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 17/07/2018 09:15

My generation started the rave culture.

But we're also the generation of goth and grunge, so yes, beige slacks are not on the horizon, but planning your own funeral does sound like a great way to spend a Saturday evening. Then again, I've been planning mine since the age of about 15.

Singlenotsingle · 17/07/2018 09:21

I'm 66 and not leaking anywhere! Not interested in care homes or funeral plans, stair lifts or dentures. I do have a soft spot for the odd garden centre though. My friend also 66, went scuba diving last week! Gotta go now, off to meet my fancy man! Wink

Undercoverbanana · 17/07/2018 09:23

I am 50.

I can run a 3.40 marathon.

I am going to be working into my 70s (we all are, let’s face it).

I don’t have grandchildren but my DCs are adults and no longer live with me.

I have an amazing life - swimming, cycling, trekking, wild camping, fell running.

I am a size 8 and am solid. Not the flabby, waddling way 50 year olds are portrayed as.

I shop at Boohoo.com and Asos. I am supposed to be M&S and Next territory by my Mum thinks the stuff in there is crap and she’s 75.

Yet in the media I am portrayed as frail and narrow-minded.

My local gym has over-50 activities. They are all in the daytime Mon-Fri when most people are at work and the photos show 80 year olds walking round a badminton court and swimming with their heads out of the water. I was quite excited about the cinema deals for over 50s but again, they are all in the working day.

It’s quite offensive and a bit crap, but it’s best to rise above it.

TheClitterati · 17/07/2018 09:25

I'm 50. My dc are 7 & 10.

Advertising goes completely over my head. I tend to avoid most of it anyway, but very little age targeted stuff has any relevance to my life.

We need a club or association of some kind. Grin

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