To think that if you kick a ball into someone else's garden, you should ask for it back?

[lovehatelove]

Next door have 2 children, not sure how old but I think the older boy is about 6/7 and the younger boy is about 3/4.

They play football in their garden a lot which is fine and doesn't bother me at all. But they manage to kick balls over the 8ft hedge on a regular basis, but never come and ask for them back or shout over the hedge.
They never mention them. A few months ago I found 7 different balls in the back of my flower bed!

We were out yesterday and have come home to three balls on our lawn.

When I was a kid and I did the same, my parents took me round and I had to politely ask for them back, which was fine.
But the assumption here is that we'll just throw them all back every time.

I'm tempted to start binning them.

AIBU to expect them to just come and ask for the balls back?

Stefoscope

Bit condescending, isn't it? I'm sure they can and do take their children out. Obviously if they have other things to do - like most people - they won't do that every day, and sometimes the garden will have to do. It's their garden.

umm throw them back? What an odd thing to be annoyed about

Throw them back
YABVU

Is it really so much trouble just to throw them back?

I would definitely find it irritating to have kids asking for balls back constantly when I'm in the middle of stuff but would have no problem chucking them back over when I saw them.

I have this exact issue.

I throw them back.

The End.

When they play as a family, it's for hours at a time though, having mini tournaments. Their garden is at most 4ft wide, so it's not really suitable for hoofing a leather football around. They've cracked my greenhouse roof and hit my conservatory windows with force before on several occassions. Which I turned a blind eye to for the sake of being neighbourly, hoping they'd be more careful in future. I have balls over my side on pretty much a daily basis throughout the summer (I counted 8 one day).

I'm not talking about a young toddler gently playing with a beach ball for 10 mins before dinnertime and it occassionally drifting my way. It's a scenario where it's quick to say 'but they're only kids, don't be mean and just throw the ball back they shouldn't have to ask for it'. But surely part of being a good neighbour is recognising if your kid is chucking balls into next door's garden on a daily basis then maybe they're too big to be playing footie in that space.

Throw them back when you can be bothered. I have a newborn so id rather no one ever knock on my door or do the doorbell for the next 2 years lol.

We have between 2 and 6 balls in our garden at times. We dont ever get annoyed, we just chuck them over when we get an opportunity to pop into the garden. Sometimes its the same day. Sometimes its a couple days later.

As long as theres no damage being caused in your garden just throw them over. Its not a big deal.

My children often kick balls over the fence. We have an agreement with our NDN, if it lands in the front garden we can collect it, if it lands in the back we leave it and they will through it back when it’s convenient to them. We do take around a box of chocolates every now and again and say thank you for being such understanding neighbours. Mind you they don’t go over every day maybe once a week. I think it would be very annoying to have children knocking on your door all the time asking for balls back, they probably don’t want to disturb you.

We do something in the middle. I don't like them appearing in my garden helping themselves but if they know we are out then they can retrieve them as long as they shut the gate properly. If there are any in the garden when I am out there then I'll toss them back. If they come over and i'm in but not outside, they may come to the door 2 or 3 times and ask to collect. I'll say to them not to ask again when I've had enough and then they just have to wait until i'm either out in the garden, not in or until the next day when they can come and ask again.

It stops them putting it over too often, they get reasonable access to get them back and I'm not harassed.

They have a few foam ones which we prefer them to be playing with so if it's one of those we are more accommodating about it's return, the big heavy leather ones can languish a bit longer.

I'd find that less annoying than some kid ringing my doorbell to ask for it back and I certainly wouldn't want them coming in my garden to retrieve them. I'd throw them back, but if it kept happening they would get them back less often in the hope they might learn.

As a kid our balls ended up over the 8ft wall of our neighbours. They never threw the balls back and if we went and asked for them back she said no! Lol! We learned haha

Now this bugs the crap out of me. My neighbour has just bought her son a basket ball hoop on a pole and base. She has stuck it next to my fence, despite her having such a long garden which she could easily use.

I have told her that if the ball come over then he will have to wait for it as my side gate is permanently locked and both myself and my husband work full time.

She is angry that I will not jump straight away and put his ball over the fence and also thinks I am unreasonable for keeping my side gate locked.

Cheeky cow. If she used her brain she could keep the ball in her own garden but no that is too simple for her.

Rant over.

I let the boys ask once a day...if the kick the ball over again after already asking then they have to wait until the neighbour spots it and throws it back...I dont want them bothering the neighbours more than needed

sweatpeaandme
Your neighbour is ridiculous. Lord knows why people think they want to be disturbed every day by others peoples kids! If they can't be bothered to take their kids off to the park, why do they think other people have to be bothered to stop what they are doing to retrieve balls for their kids!

I'll chuck a ball back at my leisure ~ but don't want kids banging on the door for it.

This happens to my mum a lot. She’s almost 70 and too disabled to keep answering the door and also too disabled to be throwing them back. Her Gardner visits every couple of weeks or so and he leaves them on the grass for when my kids visit, which is often weekly and now it’s summer they play out in the garden so they have the job of sending them back over the fence. They do this when we remember. Strangely though they’ve lost a frisbee over the fence and it’s never been returned.

OP should definitely just throw them back if and when she’s out and sees them. Definitely don’t bin them. Bad for the environment to do that and parents aren’t made of money. They probably have a few cheap ones and factor in that several are out of circulation at any given time but wouldn’t be affording to but a few balls a week.

My kids are specifically not allowed to go and ask for balls back. I tell them they have to wait for the neighbour to throw them over and if they are never returned it's too bad - they should have been more careful. It generally means they do take care. Though if my kids were getting so many balls over the fence on a daily basis I'd ban them from playing with them in the garden.

Throw them back. Sounds like they have been told to wait until you're ready rather than bother you.
I have teenagers who play beside my house (end house) they slam the ball around full force. Hitting my house, my fence. They lose their ball in my garden then bash my fence, knock windows and ring my doorbell constantly until I throw it over, scares my son who has ASD so much. The ball is normally back over around 2-3 times while they are out there. It's horrible.
Your situation sounds like heaven to me. Think yourself lucky.
I've written our house number on our ball so neighbour knows which side it came from and my boys are told if it goes over to wait until our neighbour throws it back.

I have been throwing them back. For 4 years

This is your problem then, they’ve gotten used to it and just assume you don’t mind. Doubt they’d start asking after 4 years ⚽️

Just throw them back. I used to tell the kids around me to just come and get them, likewise my neighbours told my sons the same. Jeez some people get wound up over the most trivial things.

Ball goes over then you wait till it’s thrown back

You cant throw them in the bin unfortunately, its an offence. And I agree people should call around for them.
Unfortunately adults and children from one family in the next road, think its ok to come around to our house, go into our front garden, grab their ball and run. I believe the rude father is a policeman too. Rude.
They terrified my mother a few years ago, just walking into the garden, we are in a corner and she was looking after the house, and was shocked to see a man in the garden suddenly. Ignorant people.

I throw the balls back when I see them, but would expect my children to ask for a ball to be returned if they threw them into someone’s garden.

I never allow my DC to knock, unfortunately they go over NDN wall. He is a lovely man and lobs them back over in the morning. I always apologise and I buy him a nice bottle at Christmas. DS aged 3 is terrible for throwing things over